I spent the rest of the year holed up in our shared apartment house with T.K. A few weeks after the meeting with the Sapphires, I celebrated my twelfth birthday. If it even was a birthday. T.K. baked a chocolate cake and made red velvet cupcakes, but she didn't have a gift for me. She said, "I'm sorry, Margot. I can't possibly go outside just to buy you something – it's too dangerous outdoors. I hope you understand." I forced a smile, even though I secretly wanted the new rollerblades the cool kids had in my school. And to top it all off, Quinn and I weren't hanging out with each other anymore. It's like we lived a million miles away from each other.
So I had the crappiest birthday in my whole life. After consuming more than half of my cake and three cupcakes, I went back to my bedroom and occupied myself by working on Callie. Staying holed up in the house felt like crap, and I hated it. I started to get bored and sleepy easily, which was unlike me.
One day, while I was helping T.K. with the chores, I suddenly blurted out, "Why is everyone so scared nowadays? I mean, it's like we've taken refuge in our own homes and stopped going outside."
T.K. bit her lip. She felt uncomfortable answering the question, and I knew it. But T.K. knows that I need answers. I've been waiting for too long now. She sighed loudly before answering. "Margot, you're not the only eleven-year-old who was visited by the Sapphires," she started. "Every single kid your age received the same message as you; whatever that is. And from what I know, the Sapphires only give you two options: survive, and you'll live for as long as you can; or suffer excruciating pain and die. No one wants that. Survival takes enough pain from you already,"
"How–"
"I worked for the Sapphires before I decided to adopt you. Trust me, you do not want to live the life the Sapphires will give you. That's why everyone tries to keep themselves concealed," T.K. said. She placed her hands on my shoulders. "I don't want to lose you."
I gulped. I didn't fully understand what T.K. meant, but I didn't want to experience the life the Sapphires will give me before I understand her. I stared back into T.K.'s hazel eyes. All I saw was fear and anxiety. "I promise I'll survive," I whispered. "You won't lose me. I swear."
T.K.'s eyes grew teary, but no tears fell down. "You're such a brave girl, Margot."
I wished I could believe what she told me.
°•°•°•°•°
I spent the rest of my year as a twelve-year-old holed up in my bedroom, finishing my work on Callie, sleeping, reading and rereading the only three books I have, eating, helping with the chores, and going to the bathroom more frequently than usual. Crap. I started my period already, and I had to search through the whole house just for sanitary napkins. My leggings were already leaking with blood. I felt disgusted and wet as I wobbled like a baby penguin on the second floor.
Classes only resumed every Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The eerie silence between the students every day started to feel a bit normal, but I couldn't help but feel gloomy and miserable. Hearing someone laugh or seeing someone smile now felt unusual. I tried focusing in class, but I was occupied with thoughts about Quinn and his bruised self: was that what T.K. meant about "the life the Sapphires gave"? Or was that what Melissa said about his progress going badly? Was it something in between? I shivered. I forced myself not to think about it, but I started to feel scared, too.
I walked home by myself again, dragging my worn out Converse as I walked. I wanted to eat a good meal, and then sleep for a long time until I turned fifteen when the Sapphires will come and get me. As I turned right, someone tackled me from behind and I uttered a muffled scream.
And then everything turned black.