The sun was shining high in the sky, a light breeze rustling my leaves lightly as streams of students walked down the boardwalk from the school district. Even though some were in groups, laughing and playing, and others were more lonesome or had their noses stuck in study materials, the unified worries of the students were almost screaming at me.
They were all exam student let out early from their various schools. This meant one thing, tomorrow was the national university exams.
It was a little ironic to me, almost as if the blessed good weather was mocking them and their rightful frets for what the future will bring and how it mostly relies on this one exam. I didn't know whether I found it amusing or whether I felt bad for the students, perhaps a strange mixture of both.
I wonder if I was ever in this dilemma. Or perhaps I died before I reached such an age, or was too stupid to even try. Well, for all I know I could be from aa different time and country all together, there is no use in wondering over the past.
Of course, the national exams meant that I have had more insecure, or sometimes plain delusional, teenagers coming up to me, almost ready to hand their souls over for the chance to get into the university of their dreams.
One could never predict just what sort of student would come up to me.
Some would have no shame, bowing low to a tree on the street and shouting their desire to get an average mark. Some insane children even left offerings, as if I were a shrine.
There would also be those popular , 'it' group students, the idols of their respective schools; I don't know about what got them their reputations but I doubt anyone would expect to see these kids hopelessly praying to a tree just because of baseless rumours. It is no wonder these are the students that will come when no one from their school is around, occasionally going as far as waiting back in the park until they could see it was clear.
Another common group are delinquents, which I find a little hilarious each time. These ones would be the people who will do to things, make me laugh – in a figurative sense, of course, trees don't laugh – or pull at my heartstrings. They would either have the most ridiculous motives or the saddest motives, all ranging from rivalries to supporting their families to trying to prove themselves.
But even if their motivation was the most heart wrenching, tearjerking scenario, just the image of the prime examples of what students should not be resorting to wishing in front of a tree for success in the national exams made me wish I could laugh out loud. As horrible as it was, I found the scene insanely funny.
Of course, their were a lot of regular students who would come by with no real belief, but even then they would put their faith into a tree. They were not too entertaining, in fact they all seemed to be the same people with the same wishes. Go to university, get hired, get married have children, retire with a good sum of money. There are variations, of course, but still the general course was the same. It would almost make you think they children were all brainwashed to think the same.
The most absurd group of people to visit me would be those students who have studied to hell and back. The others would come over a long period, once they realise the exams are much closer than they thought. These particular students, however, they would only come in the last couple days leading to the exams. They had such little faith in all the studying they did that they
would pit their odds on the rumours of a magical, wish-granting tree.
Honestly, I would have expected more from such students, their mindsets are so down to earth, they have real aspirations in many occasions, and they're track record clearly shows they will be amongst the top markers in most cases – even this group has the odd idiot that only grazed a passing mark no matter how many hours they put into their studying. Yet somehow all the work they have put in and all the good grades they had to show for it isn't enough to put their insecurities to bay, and they will turn to so-called luck and stuff of fiction.
I haven't a clue why they were like this, I could have been like this for all I know; while I know I used to be a human, I do not think I will ever understand them, no matter how many years I spend watching them.
Suddenly, two girl's go running across the main road, holding hands and screaming as the recklessly cross through live traffic. There was a cacophony of horns and the odd, loud cursing. Somehow, these girls had the audacity to look back at the traffic in shock. One girl's thoughts were screaming angrily as if it was the cars' fault for them almost being hit.
The other girl, even though she followed the action of glaring at the traffic accusingly with her vain friend, had a more surprising stream of sports. It seems like this girl had some sort of inferiority complex that's slowly progressed into a burning hatred towards her so-called friend. Her loudest thoughts were cursing the other girl for grabbing her hand. Why? Because it meant she couldn't leave the girl to be run over in case someone saw.
It wasn't my first encounter of such murderous thoughts, they are so common among humans; it occurs far more than one would think between 'friends'. Despite all that, I found myself surprised every time. My mind couldn't wrap around how someone so young could pretend to care while secretly wishing them dead for no reason but their own insecurities.
Why on earth was this girl so jealous of her friend? She has a terrible personality, clearly think everything was about her. Then again, this girl victimises herself and uses it as an excuse for murderous intent.
On second thought, perhaps they deserve each other, they both have rotten personalities.
This is what made watching people and reading their thoughts so interesting. Human's were such complex, incomprehensible and selfish beings, it's a wonder human society functions at all.
The boardwalk was a little quieter now, the big wave of exam students now gone. The weather was still beautiful, the sun a little lower now, bathing the area in a warmer light. The humidity made it almost seem hazy. The weather really was mocking those pitiful students. Well, the more pitiful of the bunch would turn up around now.
Almost as if summon, I immediately noticed a teenage boy walking down front he direction of the schools, his blazer hung on his jersey tied at his hips and blazer sleeves pushed up. Before reading him, I tried to guess what sort of student he was.
He had a decent face, not particularly spectacular but not ugly to any degree. He had a pair of metal-rimmed glasses balancing on his nose, they didn't seem particularly strong, perhaps just for reading. His bag seemed to be wearing down on his shoulder, clearly heavy from study materials.
The boy was far too proper looking to be a delinquent, and he didn't seem to be one of those delusion people, again, there was something too proper about him. That being said, I have seen a number of very proper looking people who turned out to be superstitious to a deranged level. But the most likely for this student would be one of the school idols or a facially blessed, hardcore student.
I finally read him and immediately saw he was the latter. His bag was filled to the brim with various notes and reference book, in his mind he was reviewing some sort of complicated organic chemistry while in the background he contemplated whether he should try his luck with wishing on the tree.
He had a few friends, but not many. Well-liked but not to the point it would be considered popular, something he was consciously aware of. He had regular insecurities regarding how he looked and studies and people liking him however also quelling these insecurities with logic; obviously the student was extremely down to earth.
It seemed he was one of the rare one who put genuine effort into his studies and still wished for a regular life, a little confusing to me but each to their own.
One thing that really stood out, however, was that deep down there was this overwhelming hopelessness, while he kept himself going with the logic of things, in reality he had no confidence in the core of himself.
It almost seemed like he would keep to his logic and sanity as he walked passed me, only sparing a glance when his mind suddenly made a snap decision, the boy tuning around and looking up at my leaves with a sigh.
The student rolled his head back further and closed his eyes. "Please let me do well and get into ◊ uni! That is all I need. Please, please, please let me get in." His mutters were quiet yet his aura screamed in pain and desperation.
He knew he had more than enough knowledge and practice to do well, and he knew that he was more than capable of fulfilling the conditions for his early offer to his desired course. He was so aware of this it was almost heavy. Yet despite all that, this child had no hope whatsoever in his own ability.
Slowly the student dropped his head forward, smiling cynically and letting out a scornful scoff. "Ah, dammit. What is wrong with me? Praying to a stupid tree? I am better than this." His words were hostile, more hostile than they should be, because even while I laugh at all these deluded people, I still think that the fact they can bring themselves to rely on anything so much, even if fiction, was somewhat necessary. Human's are too fragile for their own good.
That being said, he clearly wasn't better than this otherwise he wouldn't be standing here scorning himself.
And while he was scorning himself for relying on a baseless rumour for a good result, deep in his mind was a clear indication it was just a screen; in reality he was scorning his own insecurities. That was an incredibly sad act.
Ah! I am going too deep into his mind, my HP will drop faster if I continue this.
I watched the boy shake his head bitterly before opening his eyes and looking back at me for a few seconds. "I should just enjoy the nice weather on my way home," he told himself, basking in the sun a little longer before finally turning away and carrying on with his path home, suppressing his insecurities to the best of his ability after the clearly rare moment of vulnerability.
There was a brief moment of stillness before the breeze picked up, my leaves rustling lightly along with he shrubbery and trees in the surrounding area. Even the usually busy main road was quieter. This was the bliss of the small amount of time after lunch to just before the school classes end for everyone.
The day passes as usual, a few odd people confessing their wishes, a strange primary school girl who decided to leave her cookies as an offering for the lead in her class play, a single delinquent who has been frequenting the past couple months. All in all, a very usual day, quiet even for the day before the national exam.
The office workers seemed extremely ready to just get home, something about a widespread problem within the commercial and financial sectors leaving the vast majority with extended office hours and involuntary overtime.
It quickly tuned dark, the later it getting the quieter the boardwalk got. At the moment there was a single man sat at a bench on the park side of the path, his mind mostly blank as he finished his cigarette.
The man finished, standing up and was about to drop his cigarette to the ground to stomp out the light when he stopped himself. In his mind he remembered the complaints of his younger sister, who seemed to be in the ICU at the hospital nearby with tuberculosis. Apparently this young girl constantly ranted about her older brothers littering and the young man pearly doted on his sister to a level where it could almost be considered a complex.
In the end, he started to walk in the direction of the hospital, putting the cigarette out on the ashtray on top of a nearby rubbish bin instead.
It was as he was walking away I noticed an overwhelmingly strong aura of hopelessness nearing me. I watched as a young boy came over, almost collapsing at the base of my trunk. He was trembling a little, emotions and thoughts in a messy state. He pulled his knees up and dropped his forehead on top of them.
"I can't believeI came back here," I heard him mutter bitterly and I immediately recognised this boy as the hopelessly insecure boy who scorned himself earlier in the day, one of the exam students. It was impossible for me not to read him a little deeper than I usually would.
Earlier in the day he was very composed, extremely proper. It was a vast comparison to his current state of confusion and desperation.
Whatever logic he used to keep himself before seemed to no longer work, he couldn't convince himself he was fine anymore, he hadn't the faith in his own mind to believe himself. To him it was almost as if the logic he applied were just excuses, excuses and false hope. The part of him that had no belief in his abilities was now dominating his entire being.
In his hand he was clutching an important charm, one of the few things he had received from his sister, a very dear family member his father had stopped him seeing. She seemed to have been his rock in before the beginning of this year. However his parents underwent a messy divorce and the siblings were both separated and forbidden to talk to one another.
It seems that his sister attends the university he so desperately wants to enter, she seemed to be his main motivation. His sister had sent him the charm via a very beautiful friend of hers with a note telling him to do his best. He clearly wanted to meet his sister again – the second sister complex of the night, now that I think about it.
However, regardless of how much he wants this and how hard he has worked for it and all he assurance he has received from his teachers and friends in regards of his grades, not an ounce of his being believed he was capable. He was terrified of disappointing his sister, disappointing himself.
A slightly less pure motive of his was to meet this beautiful friend again, he was just a teenage boy I suppose, not so weird for him to have a crush. I decided not to verify if this girl was in fact a beauty, I was already reading deeper than I usually do, I can't afford to use more of my HP, especially since the usage increases exponentially.
That aside, a part of me honestly felt for this youngster, his self-esteem was so low it was almost terrifying. Last time I had come across someone so fragile they were suicidal, I used 5 years of my life to stop her walking out in front of a speeding truck. That woman was ready to give up on everything.
This boy was the same, he seemed to have given up on any hope of getting into the school of his dreams. In fact, the longer he sat there, marinating in his self-destructive thoughts, the more he gave up on, he didn't have the will to do anything he wanted.
It hurt to see him like this, I have absolutely no clue why I was feeling so much for this one student but a part of me told me that there was no way I could leave him like this. At this rate he may even decide to end his own life, he very well could if he goes ahead with his horrific idea of ditching the national exam he prepared so much for all together.
This boy was no longer the calm and collected student from earlier who was quelling his desperation, he was a broken child, seconds away from tears.
I couldn't watch this, I am aware of that. Why that is, I am not going to bother think about, it seems almost inexplicable. But it seem like I had already come to a decision, I was going to intervene, use my influence.
Clearly this boy would do amazingly if he just tried, but it seems he at such an end that he no longer had it in him to make an attempt, he was too scared of trying, no matter how deep in his head I get, that was the most prevalent point.
I only implemented one influence once considering thing; I made him think he had to courage to try. It should work, and as he succeeds along with his sister's presence, he should be able to build his own self confidence over the coming years. Thankfully he seemed down to earth enough to not become big-headed but a part of me believed that was still better than his current state.
The boy froze for a couple seconds before coming to his senses, his body had stopped shaking in fear of what would happen. It seemed to have worked.
"What good is sitting here going to do?" He whispered to himself, looking up at the clear sky, all the stars were perfectly visible tonight. It was quite the view. He had calmed down significantly.
After some time of gazing at the stars, he stood up, a new resolve to do his best tomorrow no matter what. It was an admittedly weak resolve, which he was very aware of, but somehow I had the confidence to believe it would not break.
As the student walked away, back towards his home, I thought over what had just happened. My HP had dropped to 100; 3HP meant approximately 15 years. I spent 15 years on this boy. Strangely enough, I did not regret it despite my clear fear of what would happen one this gauge reached 0.
Just what sort of person was I for me to usually be so self-preserving yet so selfless so randomly? Gah, there is no use in thinking about it, humans are such fickle creatures, I'm sure I was just the same.
It was mostly silent for the rest of the night, leaving me time to collect my thoughts and lose myself in the stars.