Before It All
They moved on. My dad has a girlfriend named Avery. After a couple months later they had gotten married. it pains me to see my dad as happy as he was with my mom Athena. My mom chose she needed time, that she couldn't move on so fast because she was in pain of what had just happened.
When they separated they went to court. But my mom never went. i felt broken-hearted, lonely, discouraged, and depressed when she didn't show up. i asked myself "why? why wasn't she there? did she not love me enough to come?" But i love her and i can't stop loving her. She was there for me during the horrible & depressing days, the happy days, and the weird days. i was not in full custody with my dad but i was still mad and sad that my mom wasn't there..
A few days after the trial i was with my dad. I was in my room most of the time because of Avery. I was not mad at my dad for being happy but i just didn't really approve of Avery but it's for my dads happiness, so it doesn't really matter. While i am in my room i think to myself "why am i here", "can't i just leave this world already", and most of all "why? why can't i just be happy?". i scream in my head "HELP ME! I'm drowning and i can't get back up! i'm stuck in my horrible and miserable thoughts." but sadly i am stuck in a horrible and ugly fantasy.. i never say anything out loud because i just can't bring myself to say anything.
i also have 3 step-siblings and 1 full related sibling. There names are Jessica, Melanie, and Alessia. My brothers name was Matt. i wanted to go with my mom for a few weeks but i'm to scared to ask. So, i first just went and asked my 7 year-old brother to see if he wanted to come with me. He said "yeah". So i decided to ask my dad. Anthony (dad) "yeah, but only if your brother goes because go together each time you want to go." i respondes "okay, he said yeah he wanted to go" Anthony, "okay".