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Chapter 19 - Freedom & Folly VII

Nannade was in her Hammock, bored, too bored to fall asleep. The last few days had dragged on. She had finished the last of her days with another druid of the Lodge by the name of Herlewin for her test of moral commensuration. All in all, she had been with him for three months, three whole months, 108 days of pencil pushing boredom, with interruptions for the Festival of Spring and several contracts alongside Garetas. She would carry Herlewin's stuff to court dates, finalize his notes and every time he went into review of guilt and punishment, he would turn to her and ask for her detailed opinion on why or why not and how much some farmer should be fined for overstepping some land marker to his neighbour's field. But now she had nothing left to do and it was even worse.

The entire time was just to spite her, that much was obvious. Arch-Druid Loganna still hadn't approved her request to gain permission to take on a familiar. Elissa had said Loganna had "better things to do" and that she "had to run Sturreland after all" as if she didn't have assistants and the Highest Circle by her side for all the menial tasks. Nannade knew the old hag never liked her, because she wasn't a "proper apprentice" of the Lodge, but of Garetas, an outsider. Nannade knew the ritual to bind a familiar well. She even had a few spirits that trusted her and often came to her side when she called. She could do it. But she'd get in trouble if some stamp wasn't pressed on some paper first. They hadn't even announced when she would finally get her Seal and the first mark of approval. If she had that, she'd get a call sign and be officially allowed to take on contracts as a Hidden Hand, even though she remained an apprentice until she had at least three marks of approval. Still, finally graduating and moving on, what a dream it would be!

But Garetas was the worst offender. He stopped taking her on missions, wouldn't even tell her where he went. It was as if he had completely dumped her off on Elissa and wouldn't even ask for an audience with the Arch-Druid for Nannade. She thought about seeing Carsten and Fiona, but they also had things to take care off. The few friends she had all got married, built houses, expected children, sowed their own fields and she was still sitting in her teachers' hut, reading books on alternative theories to the four petals of magic domains and on extended contracts with non-natural spirit entities.

She decided to go for a walk. She took off her night gown, climbed down the rope next to her hammock carefully, making sure not to wake Garetas, and walked out into the forest in her undergarments. Sometimes she really hated clothes. They could get really disgusting, accumulating all the frowst and hair of her fur. She wondered if her people walked around naked in their lands. Or at least less covered. Maybe in wide, flowing robes and coats, maybe like she was right now. She dug the claws on her toes into the soft ground, just to feel it. The forest air was just cool enough for her taste. It was a starry night. She liked the milky swirl of stars, how it seemed to watch over everything as it trailed across the sky each night. What could it see? What could it tell her? Elissa didn't want Nannade to call or even talk to spirits beyond the realm of nature. Maybe, if she asked, Garetas would allow Nannade to get a mark of approval from a church or divine college. Speaking to beings apart from foxes, mice, owls, cats, wolves and all the other things living their lives in the forest would be a thing of her dreams. Something that was beyond the little terms that little minds used, yes, that's what her life was lacking!

"Justice" Garetas had once said, "is not something we cast or decide. It is something we dispense. If you have a paper with an order of execution or apprehension on it, then you are free to see that it is carried out whichever way you like." was this the freedom he had promised her? Slightly longer chains and a slightly more comfortable collar? If she could choose between taking this "freedom" for herself or settling down, she'd most likely go with the latter. Suddenly, staying with Carsten and founding a family didn't seem so boring. They could adopt orphans or she could free a child from slavery and care for it, like Garetas once did.

She had walked quite a bit and she started to feel a presence she only felt away from the hut. Although, sometimes she would feel a lingering right after waking up. As if someone had sung a lullaby and kissed her good night. This friend of hers, it would stay with her, although it wasn't quite with her yet. Some part always remained distant, like a call across the aether, but still it felt closer than most other people in her life. Her secret friend would help her when she was in danger and watch over her without holding her back. She knew it understood her. it knew of "justice". It knew of those that deserve it. Garetas would often say "learning has to hurt." Her friend agreed with that. But it also added that so should punishment. That pain is a blessing on the wicked for their betterment. Mercy is not something she should grant to the merciless.

She noticed that she had walked with her friend a far distance. She was closer to the place of power than she was to the hut. She arrived at the bridge to the glade and paused for thought. It was here that she would finally take on a familiar. She would find an animal spirit that she liked and that liked her, and then find the spirit's mundane counterpart. A cat for a cat spirit, a fox for a fox spirit, and so on. She would open the mundane to allow the spirit to enter and finally seal it with her mind. A portion of her mind as glue and connection, forever bounding the two, as long as both lived. And the familiar would be her ally and her crutch. Helping her because she did not have an Arcane Hand.

Yes, she knew the ritual. She could find all the ingredients herself nearby. She didn't even need a blade, her claws were sharp enough for thinner skins like squirrels and birds. And humans. Her friend reminded her, there are closer connections than that between a familiar and a medium.

She entered the glade. The stream of life force reverberated within her, as if the ground was humming. When she was alone here, it was an amazing feeling, all her hairs stood on end, she curled and stretched in the feeling. She could feel the landscape, connected to all other places of power, like through a web, hazy but real. As if on the road network of the sundered empire for her mind, she could see long distances, feel distant places, talk to distant spirits - such as her friend, who felt closer now than ever before. She fully understood why the druids guarded these places so well and how they could keep control over such a vast land, while a university had trouble keeping a single city under control. The arcane was the magic of what one could grasp with a single hand. But the spiritual was the magic of entire continents, people and empires. The arcane emerged and vanished with the snap of a finger, but spirits remained and remembered aeons. The Magistrates hid from the mystic. They were afraid because it could not be controlled with drawings of ink. The mystic needed to be bartered with, it needed charm and charisma, things that Garetas had about as much of as he had of motherly instincts. The mystic could not be wrestled to the ground and forced to do one's bidding. It could not be done alone, one needed the support and agreement of others, something Garetas so rarely did that Elissa was still amazed he had stuck around the two women for so long.

She had made up her mind. Garetas had told her so long ago, if she could take her freedom, she shall have it. It was time.