F#ck, f#ck, f#ck, f#ck..... I'm so getting fired
You know that cliche movie opening...where it's some crazy scene with the main character flying through the air or some other wack shit only for the picture to pause as the line "You're probably wondering how I got myself into this mess..." introduces our new heroine. I always thought that it was the most bs unrelatable thing I had ever seen in my life. Well, that is until this very moment in my life as I stared at the diner that I worked at being consumed by flames.
[So let's rewind a few hours]
Hi, my name is Devin Sovrenson, and welcome to my internal monologue of life. For all those wondering, I am in fact a female. I know it's crazy! I'm not going to even try to hide that that statement was dripping with sarcasm.
My parents swear up and down that when they named me Devin was in fact a unisex name. However, since I've never actually met another female Devin, I refuse to ever believe their lies. They should have realized their mistakes when my first doctor's appointment ended with my doctor saying I was a male on all my paperwork. Poor guy lost his medical license for that mistake. All because of the poor decisions of a couple from middle of nowhere Illinois. I heard he was good at his job too. A tragic lose for the medical community for sure.
Anyway with introductions over, I should probably tell you that I am currently sitting on the edge of the roof of the crappy diner I work at. I wouldn't even need the job if I didn't decide to follow my dreams and go to college out of state and all that mumbo jumbo. It was supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows and glitter and whatnot.
I got an offer to play for the ice hockey team at Luceville University my junior year of high school. The school is small and in some random white dot on the map town in Missouri, but if you play hockey everyone knows of Luceville. They're a power house of a program with decades of history and national titles up the whazoo. I practically cried the day I got the phone call with a partial scholarship offer and a guaranteed spot on the team. I mean it's freaking Luceville!
I will admit that it was great for the first couple years, but then the rink went and burned down. Now our program is on hold for the next few monthes while they rebuild because we're located out in the weeds and the closest rink is a 3 hour drive. So yeah, no hockey for me.
If the no hockey wasn't bad enough, my parents forced me to get a job to build my saving because apparently I eat a lot and my college fund is about to run dry a year early. Talk about adding insult go injury.
Which leads us back to where we left off, me...sitting on a roof ledge, on my break with exactly 5 minutes and 42 seconds left till said break is over. I usually started getting yelled at for not going back inside at about the 5 minute mark so they should be coming any second now.
I stare down at my watch as the seconds go by.
5 minutes 15 seconds now.
I don't why they always try to cut my break short. It's not like I'm paid enough to actually work hard and do a good job.
5 minutes.
4 minutes 47 seconds.
Maybe they forgot today. The thought makes me a little giddy.
"D! Get you ass back inside!"
Nope, nevermind. Damn, it's like f#cking clockwork.