Pei Ling's appearance muddled Jun Yang's mind which was already a hot mess to begin with. She only came to make him even more confused with her talk of future and tradition. Jun Yang felt like he needed to spend some time alone to arrange his thought. However, he was not crude enough to chase Pei Ling directly out of his room so he went about this the roundabout way, "Pei Ling, do you mind if you give me some privacy. As you know, we have both been given a lot of information within these past few days, and I don't know about you, but I would like to have some time to go over some of the concerns that these information has raised."
However, the indirectness of Jun Yang's order was taken advantage of by Pei Ling. She slithered close to Jun Yang even though he had put some distance between them earlier. "But Jun Yang, I wish to help by sharing your concern. That is what our parents would have wanted us to do.
"In the future, we should be sharing our worries and concerns with each other so why not start now? There is no reason for you to hide anything from me. Why don't you tell me what is on your mind, perhaps I might be able to help you resolve it. Even if I can't, I will be glad to lend you an ear."
Jun Yang was getting increasingly fed up by the girl's insistence but he still had not reached the point of chasing her out of his room. After all, he still treated her as a friend. He said patiently, "Pei Ling, please…"
"This is in preparation of our future together, to fulfill the roles that have been given to us by our parents. Wouldn't you want to make them happy? Wouldn't you want them to be proud of you?"
There was an earnestness in Pei Ling's voice that surprised Jun Yang. It felt like she really believed the words that came out of her lips. Jun Yang did not know whether he should feel sad or happy for her. If he could just live his life the way his parents meant it and would not have any prickling from his conscience, perhaps his life would be so much easier.
Unfortunately he had already woken up to the allure of personal freedom and freedom once touched, could never be returned. Of course, Jun Yang could have chosen to not be free but that would be living an inauthentic life, he would be lying to himself.
While Jun Yang was ruminating about these things, he did not notice Pei Ling had gotten physically close to him in his bed. The young woman allowed her fingers to dance on the surface of his bed as they got close to the young man's hand. Jun Yang was too distracted by his thoughts to realize she had placed her hand lightly over his.
All he noticed was Pei Ling droning on in the background. "Yes, all that we've done is to make our parents happy. Why wouldn't you want to do that? We should not disappoint their expectation of us. We should be glad that they have such high expectation of us because it meant that they have confidence in us. In return, we should always try our best to live up to that expectation, to honor their confidence in us. That will make all the parties happy. Wouldn't you want that? A happy life for everyone?"
Pei Ling kept her voice low and seductive but in Jun Yang's ears, they sounded like the sales pitch of a used car salesman. The more she spoke, the more he got disillusioned by this idea that she was peddling. If anything, all she had ever done was to add to the weight of suffocation on his shoulders.
Indeed, it was true that his parents only wanted what was best for them. If he strayed away from their plan that was laid down for him, he was going to disappoint his parents and they were not going to be happy. That was a concern that Jun Yang would have to consider. But if he just followed their order, would he end up having a happy life himself? Jun Yang had his doubts.
Jun Yang's thought was cut short because he felt someone pull on his fingers. It was not until then that Jun Yang realized Pei Ling had once again closed the distance between them. This time, Jun Yang did have the urge to push her away but before he could do that, she did something that crossed the line.
"Both of our parents will be relieved and glad once they found out we've already completed the mission that they have accorded upon us. Earlier, you said that the engagement was too early but why would you want to delay their happiness? If we tick the box off now, then they would not have to worry about it in the future.
"On that note, Jun Yang, there are many things that we could do to solidify our engagement. Wouldn't you want to seal our union with something more concrete than a promise?" At this point, Pei Ling smiled shyly but her hand belied the true intention of her words. She guided Jun Yang's hand to the top of her knee.
"This is all to make sure that our parents are happy. But while we do that, we can be happy as well. Ultimately, this is for our parents and our future. Our future will be happy and sweet. And I know a way that we can have an early taste of that happiness. So Jun Yang, would you like to taste happiness with me?"
Jun Yang was petrified. He was in utter disbelief. His finger could feel the fabric of the girl's dress that reached right down to her knee. His finger could also feel the suppleness of her skin.
Jun Yang could not associate this young woman in his bed with the girl from the innocence of his childhood. Perhaps, even a part of him wanted to see how low she could have sunk.
As his hand was guided upwards, Jun Yang could feel the goose bumps on her skin.
Before the event could be allowed to go any further, Jun Yang had to put a stop to this.