After a moment of silence which seemed to last for ages passed a sudden "NEXT" yelled out and now its my turn... How the fuck am i gonna survive this shit i still have so many questions
I turn towards ??? to ask some final questions and seek for advice before this tribulation and while fear still grasps my heart cause of that hammer i decide to not ask what happened to Typo lest it happens to me....
Armada:" It seems like its my turn. Now can you tell me what the fucks your name and why are you still here, also whats the name of the White Light i might need to use the name in the future to scare my enemies as i CERTAINLY dont wanna fuck with it. Not this lifetime nor the next."
???:"Oh yeah i still didnt tell you my name, whoops, my bad. Well the reason i still didnt reincarnate is because im still waiting for my perfect match, you see i tend to talk a lot... and although it shames me to say this, my most recent 3 deaths have both been due to suffocation because i talk a lot and forget to breath sometimes.. so i'm waiting for a reincarnation with better lung capacity. As to the White Light's name... You see it's technically the Ruler of this realm and towards beings of that level you can never say their full name because they'll instantly be aware of you. So i can only tell you half its name, and its a name that strikes fear into everyone and everything.... It's called Aphro...."
???:"Just remember to not make the same mistake as Typo and you should be fine, i also took liberty of looking into the world you'll be reincarnating and as a gesture of good will i'll tell you a tip. Once you start on the path of cultivation and you need to find a sect. NEVER EVER go towards either the Tang Sect or the Sectshop, those places are filled with baboons and you'd rather not mingle with them. But what you can do which would help you a lot is, Look into a mirror and repeat this 3 times with your Eyes closed "I do NOT want to join the Myr sect, and i WANT freedom of choice in terms of finding sects", after repeating that 3 times you'll hear a giggle in the background and the next moment you open your eyes you'll be in one of the well known Sects in that world. As to why this works and why it's in the script, well... The scriptwriter is afraid of Aphro as well so he needs some brownie points in case shit goes south. And as to why you'll join a sect in that contradictory way. Well see the sect leader has um... a habit. of kidnapping people to join her sect...."
Armada:" Okay so i repeat that to join the Myr sect, i guess i'll look into it. By the way WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR NAME."
???:" just chill i wanna make it a dramatic reveal also Aphro's starting to get pissed so you might wanna hurry it up, i mean you've been ignoring it for the past 500 ish words."
Aphro:" I SAID NEXT"
hearing that i walk up and stand in place
Aphro:" Name?"
Armada:"Armada"
Aphro:"hmm looking through your history im guessing you've got somewhat decent karma score so fine just a few more question"
Armada:" Yes your honor."
Aphro:"Age?"
Armada:" not sure i've never really asked so anythings fine"
Aphro raises its majestic white lightish eyebrows if those are a thing, or atleast thats how i felt it'd react after hearing my dumb answer but to be honest i'm pretty fcking nervous so i pretty much blew it...
Aphro:" Alright fine, last question.. Gender?"
OH GOD ITS A TRICK QUESTION I KNEW IT THIS CANT BE EASY....
Armada:" Mal-"
???:" ARMADAS A FEMALE"
Armada:" wait what NO IM NO-"
Aphro:"Alright now go through the gate"
Armada:" Wait i said i'm not a femal-"
Not even being able to finish my sentence i get pushed through the gate, i take one last grief filled look at the fucker that pushed me and all i hear is.
???:" Last name Tax... First name Tik."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A feeling of rage towards that fucker tiktak kept on eating inside me but all i hoped for was the best, after floating in the middle of nothing in a dark dark place i suddenly notice a light at the end of the tunnel.
Seeing the light, i was overjoyed im finally out, or am i going to reincarnate again. wait should i go into the light or away, didnt everyone used to say never go into the ligh-?
but sadly my thoughts got interrupted as a GIANT HAND came through the light and grabbed my entire leg in its grip and dragged me out.
a moment of confusion came over me as i was brought through the tunnel of light and it took me a few moments to start to realize the fuck is going on. I look around and it seem's ive just been born... like THE FUCK?! Arent i supposed to be reincarnated into a guy of MY age or atleast past the fucking birth period? like what the hell?!
But more important things came first i started to sense around to check if everything is good. hmm
Armada:" Hmm Eyesight, Check. Sense of touch, Check. Hands? check, Feet? check. Little arma-???????? WAIT WHERE IS IT OH GOD NO PLEASE NOT LIKE THIS APHRO PLEASE DONT BE THAT CRUEL.