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101 Ways to Court Death

Salt2012
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Synopsis
This story follows everyone's neighborhood comic relief Armada, as he fights his way through the Cycle of Reincarnation trying to figure out where the hell he is and why.
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Chapter 1 - Pissed off Zapdos.

In a random alleyway of a small town on this magnificent flat blue Earth, we find ourselves a magnificent specimen of a human being along with 2 of his friends. This friend of ours goes by many names and titles, most prominent of all The Courter of Death and The Bullshitter.

Armada: "I'm telling you guys you just wait and see, one day i'll become a peerless expert and rule over this world. Who needs Talent, who needs intelligence and determination, i'm telling you guys only because you're both my friends, and sadly the only ones, but this is just an elaborate plot made up by the many powers of our world to keep us down. The only thing you need to become a peak martial artist or a cultivator is Talk no Jutsu. The more you bullshit and the more believable it is, the stronger you are."

Friend A: "uhh Armada i'm just asking this to make sure, but did you take your Meds today or not yet?"

Friend B: "yeah mate you really shouldn't skip out on those i mean, we all read and love wuxia and Xianxia novels etc but that shits just stories."

Armada: "OH MY GOD WHY CANT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES!! This is all a huge ruse! Look I'm telling you cultivators EXIST. I'll even make an Oath to the heavens if you don't believe me."

Armada: "I swear to the heavens cultivators and martial artists exist and I'm a prodigy main character who'll rise above them all and if any of the things i've said is a lie let me be struc-..."

White light flashes blinding everyone around a long with a loud sound as if its the end of times

Armada: "-k by Lightni..... The fuck? Where the fuck am i????"

I look around and gone are my friends, gone is the alleyway and im in the middle of nowhere and somehow standing on clouds.

????: "Ah so we got a new one, eh?"