I was standing near the window of my room, completely numbed, unable to react, unable to move a muscle like a soulless doll as I saw Sakura and Nakazaki talking to each other on street in these late hours, I stepped back a little so that they didn't notice me like Sakura did before. I wasn't able to hear what they have to say, neither I was able to see the reactions of their face, the last thing I saw was that they were hugging each other and after that Nakazaki left leaving Sakura behind, if I am not wrong, before going back to home she took a look at my window, looks like she thinks I am a creep who likes to be in others mess but isn't that correct, means if Sakura wants everyone to know about Nakazaki she could've talked to him in the school, I guess they want it to be a secret for the time being and I just saw them like this, why I am feeling so jealous suddenly. I took a long breath and said to myself that I shouldn't talk about it later, not to her and not to anyone else, if she wants to let this be a secret for now, I'll respect it. I went down to drink something in kitchen and to refresh my mind, but I was just unable to get that shit out of my head that I just witnessed. "No sleeping or peeping tonight, I see" my dad suddenly appeared, "huh, you scared me a little" I shocked of his sudden appearance, "well if you're not able to sleep then you'll not be able to go to school tomorrow, oh I have a plan why don't you and me go out for a walk, that will probably help you and might make you a little bit tired" he asked to me, "No, I mean, we should try to sleep now and don't you think that mom might worry if you just disappear" I said, "Nah, your mom is not gonna awake anyhow right now, so are you up for it or are you gonna leave your father alone in this dark night ?" he said, my father can become quite the actor sometimes, "okay, I'll go, but not more than 15min" I said, "we'll see" he replied. I really don't wanna go out right now because there is a possibility that we run into Sakura and after what I just witnessed, I don't think I should see her not for the night at least, we wonder around a little and hopefully didn't meet up with Sakura but when we almost reach the house I saw both Mrs. Izuya and Sakura and thanks to my old man we got their attention, "Mrs. Izuya, Sakura, having a little chat under this starry night" my dad said, "Mr. Izumi, its so nice to see you and you too Tomoya" Mrs. Izuya said and I was just standing there silent like I am not even there, "Uncle, were you and Tomoya out for a walk right now ??" Sakura asked to my father, "my my how do you know that ?" My dad reacted, "see mom, everyone go on late night walks, its common" Sakura said to her mother, "no winning over you, I guess" Mrs. Izuya said, "what's going on, am I missing something" my dad said, "its nothing, I was just telling Sakura that she shouldn't go on late night walks but I guess there won't be any change no matter what I do" Mrs. Izuya said and they all laughed and started a talk over whether Sakura can go out for late night walks or not, I guess her late night walks is just a false statement for meeting Nakazaki, should I say that, maybe no. So much was going around my head then I suddenly heard a voice "are you okay there, Tomoya" Sakura asked to me as she was a bit worried, "I guess, I am just overwhelmed after all that happened today, I should better go sleep" I said that in a very low and sad voice and I went in home trying to sleep in my room but I was just unable to do so, I made up my mind that I have to overcome what's in my head and in my chest and have to act normally from tomorrow, thinking that again and again I am uncertain when did I fall asleep.
Another day started and looks like I am not dwelling over the last night anymore, means I am but I am not freaking out anymore like I was last night, the day started like any other and continued like that too until I met Sakura in my way school, it was hard to talk to her with those thoughts inside me but somehow I pulled it out, before reaching the front gate of school we met Sekke and Ichinose too, "Tomoya, you know the fest is just one month from today, yeah I am so excited" Sekke said, "hey, I thought you don't like fest too" I said, "nah, I didn't say that, all I meant back then was that I don't like to work in that but enjoying it is a different story" Sekke said, "what's you gonna do Izumi" Ichinose said, "I am not sure, what are you gonna do anyway" I asked them all, "well I thought to take part in the English literature contest on that day since Ms. Fujitoshi asked me to" Ichinose replied, "I guess no questions there and you Sekke" I said, "and I'll join drawing contest, apparently its not gonna take much time only 30min and there is no need to wait for results either so even if I have to face a little bit disgrace, I am all over it" Sekke said, "so who's your partner" I asked, "huh ??" Sekke reacted, "Sekke don't tell me, you don't know that the drawing competition is actually a duo contest, where one has to create drawings while other fill color in the drawings in that limited time and you can't be a part of it without a partner" I said, "what I am gonna do now, I actually didn't knew those details" Sekke said, "well I can help you" Ichinose said, "you sure Miya, you don't have to do it, if you don't want to, you know" Sekke said, "well English literature contest won't take much time either and I am a little good in drawing too, so it will help you" Ichinose said, "Thank you Miya you're the guardian angel of mine, while that's done what are you two gonna do ?" Sekke asked to Sakura and me, apparently we both has same answers that we didn't decide up until now, and we'll see later, I bet she will do the same that Nakazaki guy do as for me I guess I'll go whatever Ms. Fujitoshi has for me. I don't know how I was reacting that time, we head over to our class in our way we saw that the notice board is filled with the posters of all the clubs regarding their activities during fest, on posters it was mentioned that if someone wants to join them for polishing their talent before fest they can, while we were watching over different posters I saw that Sakura's eyes were stopped on one poster, that's the one with dance competition, yeah they might telecast it on TV too I guess, its a duo contest this time huh, now I see Sakura tensed a bit I wonder why, maybe she's gonna take part in it with Nakazaki, thinking that my blood started to boil a bit but this time I didn't ask her or say anything, I don't know how I should even behave towards her with this aching pain in my chest. We just went to our classroom and continued it like a normal day until Ms. Fujitoshi had this announcement "Kiddo's you've got two weeks before deciding what's you gonna do in the fest and you should be grateful to me that I am giving you this much time to choose", after that a bit confusion and mumbling started in our classroom until Ms. Fujitoshi showed her demonic form which suddenly brought Arctic weather in our class, to relax and freshen up a bit I thought of doing my lunch on terrace since no one goes there normally but I guess that its a bad day for me, apparently Sakura and Nakazaki were on terrace already, I bite my lips and run towards cafeteria, there I found Sekke. "What's wrong Tomoya", Sekke asked me, "Its nothing Ryou" I said, "is it about Sakura, what happened, is she with other guy" Ryou said what made me a bit surprised, "what do you mean Ryou ?" I asked him, "oh come on, you know what I mean or you must be a dumb ass" Ryou shout a little, "Ryou tell me what's wrong" I asked him calmly because whatever he is talking about he is serious unlike all the times. "Its Miya, you know she has a crush on you ever since you become friends with us and here you are ignoring her like she's nothing" Ryou said this with some deep voice which completely shocked me, "No, you are lying to me, if Miya does have feelings for me she must have already told me" I said it to defend myself nervously, "did you told Sakura too ?" Ryou said this to me and at that moment it made me completely numb, I didn't know how should I react to this, its just too much for me, "I guess I have my answer, forget what I said because an idiot like you can only make things worst at this point" Ryou said and left. I got stunned there for sometime then suddenly out of nowhere I remember a dream, a dream that I long forgotten. I wished to be in a garden or become a part of it as one of its beautiful flowers but now I am seeing myself trapped between the branches of trees that resides in that dream garden of mine, "I wanna be free, I want to be a part of it but not like this" I shout in my mind, this was ended up having me so many thoughts, after all that I decided to meet up with Ichinose because you see I am an idiot who don't get anything if you don't tell him. I saw Ichinose in a corner of the Cafeteria doing lunch all by herself so I walked towards her, "Oh Izumi, are you not gonna eat today ?" Ichinose asked me, "I'll be blunt, do you have feelings for me Ichinose ?" I asked her though I was a bit tensed, "Ryou must have said it you, don't worry its nothing, I just said that once to get some fun out of him, okay" Ichinose said, "why.., why are you acting like that, like its nothing" I shout a bit with deep voice when I almost has tears in my eyes, "because I found you more happy with Sakura you see" Ichinose said, "huh" I got shocked completely, "Izumi there is nothing to be worry about, I just found you more happy and comfortable with Sakura and I thought she will a better choice for you than me, that's all" Ichinose said in a low sad voice, "You are an idiot, you know" I said, "well we all are, to be perfect" Ichinose said, "Thanks Ichinose" I said and left her. I went straight towards the terrace because I was tired of running away from this truth, if Ichinose has accepted this all because all she wants is to see me happy then how could I be so selfish that I got this much jealous of Nakazaki and started hating him without even knowing anything about him, Nakazaki and Sakura were on terrace talking to each when they both get startled a bit watching me there, "what are you doing here Tomoya" Sakura asked me in a nervously, "well I just wanna meet up with you two in this state" I said, "in this state, oh no, Tomoya you got it all wrong just hear me out okay" Nakazaki said, "I didn't took it wrong, not this time around, not after I see you two at last night on the street" I said while I was so frustrated that my frustration can be easily found in my words and my words were starlife,g and making both of them nervous a bit as I see, "Tomoya just hear us out, I am sure we'll clarify any misunderstanding you have" Sakura said in a very nervous voice, "Sakura, I came here to say something and that's I love you and I will love you until the day I breathe last time" I said which makes Nakazaki shocked a little and caused tears in both Sakura and my eyes, a cold wind was started moving on or it was just my imagination as I continue with "I am neither a word master nor have specialty in expressing my feelings, I was so jealous and frustrated last night when I see you two alone in the starry night talking to each other, hugging each other" I shout a little and continued, "even so I have realized now that loving someone doesn't mean that they will love you in return too, so Sakura I am saying this, even if you were to not love me in return or hate me for the rest of my life, I'll always be there to help in every scenario, so go ahead and Find Your Love Sakuraa..." I said that and left, I ran from there as fast as I can with tears in both of my eyes, I did mean what I say its what I think I believe, but I think I am just not up to it right now, to face her like this.