Nyctophobia, the fear of the dark. As I got older living with my mom I kinda noticed something odd about the way we lived. Lights. Not just any lights to be exact but night lights. They were in every room you could think of and of course in the hallways. And when I started to actually go over to friends houses they didn't have any night lights. But despite that being only two people, I asked my mom about it anyways. "Why do we have a bunch of night lights?" I asked. I didn't make much sense to me I mean you'd think it would be raising the cost for our electricity bill. She was doing dishes and didn't even look at me. "We stay in the light which keeps us safe" I waited for more words but they didn't come. Around that time she didn't look better, she wasn't getting better. Her skin was kind of this pale grayish color but I didn't mind. She died a weeks later when I was at school. I was told I would be staying with my Uncle which I didn't even know I had one. But the part of me leaving circled my brain, no more people saying "That poor woman I bet she couldn't take it when her husband left, such a terrible thing for her girl to see" or "It's better that she's gone! I know she killed her husband I'm surprised she wasn't put in a mental asylum!" And "That poor girl I pray she doesn't end up like her mother"
I never thought my mom was mental just sick. She had a cold and it didn't go away. I didn't stay with my Uncle for longer than three months. Let's just say he was arrested, which he was. Not long after that, I was sent to live with my Aunt Doris. I was relieved and thought I was finally gonna be happy again...or so I thought. She lived in California, a beautiful warm place that I personally liked. Of course, things had to end after her husband had almost killed her and even took things out on me. Next, I moved to Oregon, followed by Montana, Nebraska, Texas and here I am on a plane to Maine. Of course, there were complications to the way I've lived all my life. Bullying is a natural thing, dating older men along with abuse but of course, it always seems wrong to me. Or at least when I'm around people at least. The ability to not know if something is wrong or right and to suddenly be in a box of fear isn't new. I don't think the family things for me or maybe it's just guys. I have a different feeling about this one though, this time I'm staying with my grandmother. She use to come over for the summers. We'd go on walks, ride horses, go to the beach, bake, check out books, color. She was pretty much my entertainment. I'd rather hang out with her than my friends an any day...back when I had friends. When the plane landed a wave of relief hit me. I hate flying, no I hate turbulence. I walked off and awkwardly behind people and followed them seeing a belt thing with luggage going around slowly. I took three steps before I actually saw her. I smiled and speed walked to her "Your so tall!" she pulled me in for a hug. I winced as I felt my back pop, she was more strong than I expected. She was about the same height as me, 5'10 and fit. She had fair skin, wise blue eyes and a grey french braid. "I guess you get a lot of snow here" I say still hugging her. I didn't really know what to say so I just brought up the first thing I had noticed landing here. "When the suns out it's a gift" she pulls away with a smile "You'll get used to the cold I promise" I nod my head as she grabs my duffle bag before turning. Once outside I felt like I had just been breathed on by the abominable snowman. My body was now covered in goosebumps. Walking across the parking lot wasn't any easier as I stepped over and walked around spots of ice. By the time I got to Saras truck I couldn't really feel my ears. The truck beeped and I climbed in without a bit of hesitation. It was already warmed up thanks to the heater. I heard the back door open a heard my bag land on the back seat. The back door shut and it was silent for a few seconds before Sara opened the drivers door and climbed in. Sara chuckled slightly "It's not always this cold..for newcomers a lot of the time it's bearable"
"Bearable" I say repeating the word. She smiled shaking her head and we were off. The town looked like a winter wonderland all covered in fresh snow. It was beautiful. You wonder how many times the schools actually have snow days here. The trees were so pretty covered in snow I just wanted to take a bunch of pictures. When we got close to the house my eyes widened in amazement the was a big homey like pond to the right and a punch of fencing to the left. I could see three horses with coats on standing with a barn off to the distance. The house was a soft blue two-story house. There was also another car parked in front with fresh untouched snow on top. I just wanted to jump and roll over it. "Is this your ice car?" I ask as she turned the truck off. She gave me a confused look "My what?"
"Oh you know, like a car you drive in certain whether or if your truck breaks down you have a plan B" she smiles. "Actually it's for you" my face dropped "Really?" I jumped out of the truck and almost face planted in the snow. I hate snow. I could hear my grandma laugh as she shut her door. I walked awkwardly to the car snow finding its way into my shoes and making me pick up my feet like a horse who's walking with shoes for the first time. The car looked brand new with leather interior inside. "Wow thank you!" I say. I felt weird saying it. She smiled "Now you'll have something to get to school with" I nod still feeling awkward like I should do something but I don't know what. "Come on, it's freezing out here" She walked up the front steps and I followed. The house was warm that I sighed, a lit fireplace crackling. I followed her moves wiping my shoes off and leaving them by the door. "Welcome to your new home!" she says with a skip. I smile. My grandma works at a retirement home so I know I'll have the house a lot to myself. I'm pretty proud of myself that I remember that. I followed her upstairs and into a room. "This is your room, it's been doing nothing but taking up storage..I'm glad I finally found a use for it" The room was big with white walls and high ceilings. It even had a screen T.V I sat on the bed with a light grey comforter and matching pillows. "Thanks its cozy" I say with a grin. She smiles "I'm sorry to leave you but I have a late shift tonight. I won't be back till 10" I nod my head crossing my legs. "In the meantime.. why don't you go explore the barn and meet the horses you can use my boots" I watched her leave and waited till her truck was gone. I sprung off the bed back downstairs and pulled her boots on. Grabbing a jacket off the hook I speed walked out the door and across the snow. Jazz came up to me right away her gray coat was growing out and she looked so much older. I stopped at the fence and hugged her. "Oh I missed you.." she made a snort as if agreeing. She nudged my shoulder sniffing my hair as I noticed Bruce running over with his thundering hooves and Luna right behind him like a loyal dog. Bruce stuck out his head and I kissed his nose scratching his cheek. Luna stuck her head through the fence and nipped at my leg. "Aw it's me Amanda" I crouched and scratched the ponies neck. I finally crawled over the fence and hopped onto Bruce. It felt weird being on a horse again and I didn't really notice how much I missed it. "Come on Bruce" I pointed towards the barn and he turned trotting towards it. The rest followed as I grabbed onto a fist full of Bruce's mane and gave him a little kick. He was running now, with Luna and Jazz close behind. To feel the breeze on my face and to be on a horse again was so much fun. I rode around for about an hour and finally slid off hugging him. Bruce was so small the last time I saw him. He was this feisty little colt and now he was this beautiful enormous black horse with a long mane. I hugged all of them before crawling back over the fence. Jazz took off and they followed her keeping up but never ahead. I glanced at the darkening sky as specks of stars were coming out. I smiled knowing not everyone has a view of the stars like this.
After a warm shower, I made some popcorn then settled on the couch with a blanket. I watched T.V for a while and decided to look around. It's still snowing outside. I peered out the window the once beautiful snow covered trees now looked like something out of a horror movie. The first floor didn't have much but the second floor, I found a box with the label Pictures on it. I sat with it in the middle of the hall and opened it. There were a lot of older photos most in black and white but some in color. There were pictures of my family, my mom, even me. It was a picture of me sitting on Sakura's lap. I remember that day. I had a full-on meltdown when I heard she was leaving. She ended up staying three more days and promised I'd come to Maine one day. I decided to keep a few that I liked. I stuck the box back on the shelf in the closet and stuck the picture under my pillow. I stopped once I heard the blowing of the wind, it made the house creak. I glanced outside and could see the trees move side to side thanks to the light of the moon. My attention snapped to a shadow before a howl filled the air. As more shadows appeared. I ran back downstairs snatching a jacket and ran outside. Turning the porch light off I watched, smiling as wolves ran out from the woods. I was nervous they would go for the horses but there were no horses that I could see. They scattered around the front yard yipping and whimpering as they ran around each other and rolled around. When I noticed one had spotted me I stopped breathing. It trotted up and put its nose between the rails of the railing. his fur was.. black? But his eyes were a nice brown.. so I guessed. My heartbeat quickened. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Can you pet a wolf? I stayed still as he lifted up his lips. He walked around and walked up the steps. I was right his coat was black..he looked so soft. He casually sniffed a few things on the porch and pawed at the front door. He looked over at me and stared for a few moments before slowly, but boldly walked up to me. He sniffed my face and rubbed his face against mine. "Your so soft.," I whisper hugging the animal. The wolf sniffed my jacket keeping his nose there for a minute before turning and running off. I huffed glancing at my foggy breath. I huffed again and watched as the black wolf took off and the rest followed him with yips as if laughing. I stood and walked . I couldn't wait to ask Sara what the story was with them. After a bowl of mac n cheese, I decided to go to bed which wasn't hard.
Sara had woken me up the next morning. I groaned hugging the pillow next to me. There
was something about this bed that seemed so cozy. "If you want food get up so you have time to eat" I watched as she left the sound of her steps growing softer and softer. I stood walking to my window. It must have snowed cause the wolves footprints were gone. The forest and yard looked so pretty with the snow untouched and in daylight. I sighed and walked back across the room. I need something warm yet I don't want to look like a new tourist idiot. I tossed a black pair of leggings on my bed along with a white tank top a white sweater and a denim jacket. The scent of coffee found its way into my room. The smell didn't bother me but I hated how it tastes. I changed quickly and ran downstairs. My grandma was sitting at the counter watching the news with a coffee mug between her hands. I listened as I opened the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice. "A heavy rain tomorrow, what a shocker," she says with a chuckle. I pour it into a cup and put the carton back. "I'm starting to hate weather or maybe just winter, but then again I've Only been here a day". Sara smiled at me. "Ah don't worry I thank the lord for the warm days we do have"
"What's that?"
what a shocker. After I downed my cup of orange juice I ran upstairs, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and put it in dutch braids. I slipped on a pair of tan hiking boots grabbed my bag and ran downstairs. "I'll see you later grandma!" I yell "Be safe dear!" I took one step outside and my feet slipped forward. I hung on the door handle pushing myself up so my butt didn't touch the ground. With a huff, I stood and slowly made my way to the car. I glanced over at the barn to see Jazz walking back in, the colds never been her thing. As I settled in my car the new idea kept circling my brain. This is my car. My car. My new car. I smiled and turned the heat on pulling out. The school didn't take more than twenty minutes and in those twenty minutes, I've never been honked at so much in my life. As I stepped out of my car everyone didn't seem to be so happy that it was snowing, can't blame them. I carefully made my way across the parking lot and into the building. "Amanda Carter?" I turned my head and a pack of girls walked up to me. Imitating yet annoying. A girl smiled so big it was obvious it was fake. "Hi, my names Stacy and I heard we had a new girl so I just had to meet you!"
"Well don't I feel...charmed"
She smiled looking me up and down. "We'd like you to meet some of our friends after you've collected your stuff. Were more than willing to show you around" most of the girls behind her frowned or looked at me with disgust. "Maybe I'll take you up on that..." I turned and left them heading into the office. I stopped at the counter and expected her to notice me but she didn't. She kept her attention on her computer and just as I was gonna speak she glanced at me. "You must be Amanda Carter, welcome" she says flatly. She moved four textbooks in front of me along with my schedule on top. "I'm Mrs. Piers, I expect you not to be late" I nodded my head turning. Not the best first encounter, geez. I glanced at my sheet. Locker 154. I walked the halls to locker 154 and groaned as the group of girls were standing close to it with a few jocks like it was a flirting party. I casually walked to my locker and spun the dial like I've done it before. A girl must have signaled I was there because Stacey's high voice went off. "Oh, Amanda! Jake, Jonah this is my new friend Amanda!" friends a little bit pushing it. I swallowed my words "Hey Id love to show you around if you want, it could be fun" Jake winked and I rolled my eyes slamming my locker. "I dont think so"
I heard a chuckle as I walked away just in time for the bell to ring. I checked my schedule again. Math with Mr. Ritter. I nodded to myself and walked to his class. When I walked in everyone was already in their seats. I walked up to the teacher and he glared at me. "The bell just rang you are late," he says accusingly. I sigh I may be new but that doesn't mean a teacher or anyone gets to walk all over me. "Why don't you just tell me where I sit.." he crossed his arms glancing at the other kids. "I'll sit you by Mr. Anderson!" he says with fake pride. I followed his glance which was on a boy. He was slouched in his seat with his feet on top of the desk in front of him. He had fair skin black hair that reached his shoulders and covered the side of his face along with a black shirt beat up pants and beat up shoes that looked like a dog got a hold of them. I sighed and walked towards him sitting next to him. Mr. Ritter clapped his hands and began with the speech. I could feel eyes on me from the other students. He must of done something, a square of empty desk surrounded him except for the one I was currently in. I glanced at him and I could see part of his left eye between his hair which was a bright blue. "Why are you staring at me…." My mouth dropped as I looked away "Um..your eyes..do you wear contacts?" I felt stupid for asking. He waited a moment. "Why would I have contacts ...are my eyes weird?" he asked the question so casually. "N-no there really pr-cool" He blew his bangs out of his face. "Your eyes are cool too"
"Thanks" I say. The lesson went on yet I wanted to talk more. I liked his voice it sounded like he had an accent yet not. As the lesson passed Mr. Ritter left in a rush. Everyone smirked talking now it looked like he was sick. What a coincidence. "Has he been sick?" I asked glancing at him. He looked at me with no expression. "No" was his simple reply, I nodded. Turning my head again I bit my lip. "What's your name?" I ask "Why?" I shrugged my shoulders "You know my name"
"That wasn't by choice" ouch. I glanced away. "Right" I turned my attention back at the kids who were talking about Mr. Ritter assuming whether he was throwing up or had a stomach ache. I didn't get what was so funny about it. I opened up my binder and grabbed a piece of blank paper. "Justin" I glance at the guy again. Justin...I like it. I was about to ask what changed his mind but I decided to keep my mouth shut. Mr. Ritter didn't come back till the bell rung. Everyone left and he didn't say a word he just sat in his chair and held his head. I glanced at him and walked out of the room to my next class. I had P.E next. As I walked in a girl with Red straight hair walked up to me. "Hi! Um, Amber uh... I'm guessing you don't have P.E clothes. Were about the same size!...I might have a pair of shorts or something for you" she came over with such confidence but she looked unsure now. I smiled "Thanks" she smiled. As Mr. Blake took attendants Amber lead me to the girl's locker room. It turns out we were about the same size she had a teal shirt for me along with a pair of black shorts and orange running shoes. "They don't really go together but that's all I got" she says with that small voice. "Aw that's ok, I'm glad I got something" I smile. She smiled. We walked out of the locker room and I noticed Justin talking to another kid. The kid had the top of his hair dyed red in a bad boy look I'm guessing. "Hey what do you no about them?" I ask. Amber turned her head. "Oh! that Justin and Parker there pretty much rebels. Rumor says that they killed a kid but there's no proof. I don't think they killed him.. Robbie. I think everyone's got it wrong" I glance at Justin. I'm glad Amber doesn't believe those rumors. This makes Justin all the more mysterious. Once I figured we were running I felt kinda happy. "You like running to? That's good I'm pretty fast, so see if you can keep up with me"
"You're on" I say. This is the first time I've seen an indoor track I guess the thought never occurred me. I glanced at Justin just as a whistle blew. "Come on Amanda!" Amber yells I take off after her. The best part of running is when your body and lungs can take it. I ran past Amber and you could tell she was having a tough time keeping up. "Your pretty good keep going show coach what you got!" I didn't hesitate I smiled and ran faster. I ran right past a group of boys and heard their groans as they cursed the sound of shoes slapping the ground. It helped that we were not outside. "Hey! Jake is it?" I ask running by Jake he raised an eyebrow "Yea what'd you have for breakfast? You're pretty fast"
"Yup and I'm going to beat you" I pushed myself faster and I could feel him gaining on me I ran faster till I passed the finish line and collapsed on the ground Jake catching me. "Wow you good?" he asks lightly setting me on the ground. "Hey...can you get me water" I say between breaths. He jogged over to a bench and ran back with a water bottle. I opened it and started gulping it down taking breaths again. "Hey Carter nice run," says Nick sitting by me. "Thanks" I say returning the bottle to my lips. After I drank the whole thing Jake helped me and walked me over to the benches. He sighed and smirked "look who came to actually join class serial killer and his right-hand man" I turned and saw Justin and Parker walk up. "Don't be an ass" I say standing "Come on!" I ignored walking to the fountain to fill up the water bottle. I splashed water on my face and glanced up as Justin stood by me he was taller and bigger then I thought. "What?.." he asks his hands in his pockets. I smile "You're taller than I thought" I raise the bottle and start drinking again. "Is that a bad thing?" I shake my head "No. Being tall for a guy is good or, so I thought" I shrug my shoulders. "Amanda!" Amber ran up to me panting I handed her the water bottle and she pounded it breathing heavily. "You should..sign up….for track" she says between breaths. I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe I will" I realized Justin was staring at me. "What.."
"Nothing..you should try it out" he says before walking away to join Parker on the benches. I took another sip of water from the fountain and sighed. "He definitely likes you" says Amber sitting. I sit next to her. "What do you mean we just met"
"Yea but it's not every day he actually talks to someone..it doesn't take a rocket geek to prove that he's curious about you" I shrug "That's fine with me honestly, I think he's beautiful" she smiles "Yea, I guess he is. I guess it's his eyes. I wish I had eyes like that" She says. I smile " I wish I had your green eyes, they're so pretty" she smiles. After P.E and I was changed into my nice warm clothes I was happy. School went on just like that at lunch I had nicely declined Stacy and sat with Amber. The rest of the classes went by and the next thing I knew I was at my locker. "Will have to hang out soon" says Amber "Definitely I'm sure my grandma wouldn't mind if you came by soon" I grabbed my bag and walked with her out of the school. "I'll see you tomorrow she says walking to her car "Later!" I call. Once in my car I sighed, what a day. I was tired yet not much had even happened. Much of the snow had melted turning the grounds into a big slushie. Once I got to the house Saras truck wasn't parked in front. I tossed my bag on the porch steps and walked over to the fenced area the snow crunching under the weight of my feet. Jazz trotted over once spotting me. I climbed over the fence and took a few steps to meet her. Her eyes were cloudy, blind I guessed or at least getting there. It was such a difference, she was once a beautiful gray sassy mare that won competitions, shed never be any less of a horse to me. She was still my Jazz, well...Saras Jazz. I pet her soft nose and hugged her. I looked around her to see Bruce and Luna eating at the entryway of the barn enjoying a big pile of hay with their Jackets on. I kissed Jazz's nose and pushed her to where she was facing them and gave her another push. She looked back at me before running off to join her companions.
Crawling back over the fence I walked over the snow listening to the crunching and shuffled my feet up the front step. The door was locked. I looked under the mat. Nothing. Damn. I looked in a flower pot and found a silver key. I stuck it in the lock smiled as the door opened. I closed the door and kicked off my shoes before dragging my bag to the couch and setting it by the coffee table. The warmth that was given from the fireplace warmed me at once and I was truly thankful. Turning on the T.V for noise I walked to the kitchen and found a bag of chips and a coke. As I looked through a window I noticed the snow was melting, and I could actually see some grass poking out. I walked back to the couch crossing my legs and flipped through the channels.
It wasn't till about 4 when Sara got home. "Hey how was school?" she asks kicking off her shoes. "It was pretty fine...I made friends with one girl Amber... she seems pretty nice. "Oh, Amber Presley. I'm good friends with her grandparents." I smiled. She disappeared and came back with a beer. "Anything else happen? Boys? Teachers?" I shrug "There's these two guys that think they're so cool. But I only like one, outside of those two. There's rumors that he's killed someone..a boy. I'm surprised he hasn't left school but that just doesn't seem like him" she gave me a sad look "Justin Anderson. He's a troubled soul but a good one" she says "That boys had a rough childhood, I almost adopted him at one point. She dropped her purse and walked past me into the kitchen, once she returned she had a beer in her hands. "His parents did nothing but drugs, he shouldn't have been where he was so young, and to tell you the truth Amanda deep down I wouldn't be surprised if Justin killed Robbie. but you know what? I know he wouldn't have killed him just because. Whether he was protecting someone, whether it was an accident..there's a story that no one knows but him" I sighed "He doesn't seem awful, he is different though almost strange but he's beautiful" she smiled "He's beautiful all right, and so were his parents. Before they got worse. His past is a scary place I tell you.. don't worry though. Don't go believing all those nasty rumors" she says taking a swig of her beer "I won't, and I'm glad you said all that like you didn't get all upset or say to stay away" she shook her head. "I would stay away from him but I think it's time Justin open up a little. He's a good smart kid you just gotta be patient with him" I nod my head. "Kids are so mean to him calling him a serial killer" I shake my head it makes me mad. She pats my knee "Dont worry he doesn't take it to heart like average people" she says with a chuckle. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear wondering. After dinner and dessert I decided to go for a walk. I don't know why I mean the forest scared me but I felt like I really needed to go somewhere. Sara gave me a worried look "Oh ok are you alright?"
"I'm fine I just..I don't know I feel like I really need to walk" she sighed "I dont know Amanda the woods can be a dangerous place at night, there's other animals then just wolves" I grab a flashlight a finish tying my shoes. "I'll be fine I promise. I have my phone, give me 10 minutes" I ran out the door before she could protest. I felt like a dog who hasn't been outside all day. I quickened my pace and made it pass my car without slipping. I made it into the forest and sighed my breath foggy. It was so quiet till I heard a howl in the distant and continued walking. The cold nipped at my face but I didn't care. I moved the snow off a log and sat on it the coldness of my butt made me jump of. I turned my head as I heard the snap of a twig making the feeling of wanting to be here run for the hills. I stood crouching now as I heard footsteps crunching. "Hello?….." I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and slid off the log. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I wish it wouldn't, I couldn't hear. "Whos there?" I demand. I stayed still and gasped once I felt something fly by me the wind cooling my face. "You're annoying! show me who you are, oof!" I was on my ass with snow in my hair. I was attacked by a snowball! I wasn't so scared anymore someone was just messing around but who? Why this late? "Amber..." I whisper. Nothing. The wind was starting to pick up and I could hear, trees starting to rustle. I groaned as another snowball hit me on the right side of my face. I'm annoyed now it's obviously not some animal walking around. I felt something dash pass me and I knew it was gone whatever it was. So strange..
My heartbeat was no longer in my ears. I smacked my flashlight and it flashed on. "Course it works.." I whisper rolling my eyes. I shined it around me. I walked to an object on the ground and snatched it. A silver bracelet. I shook my head looking around that doesn't make any sense. The bracelet was silver with green diamonds built into it. I stuffed it in my pocket and headed home. When I got home Sara was just turning off the T.V "That was a short walk.." I smile "It was fine" I ran upstairs and shut my door tossing my jacket aside. I froze glancing at my window, It was open. I speed walked across my room and glanced outside. Are these signs or did Sara just open my window? Why would she it's freezing! I shut the window and crawled onto my bed. Spinning the bracelet around in my hands, it sure was pretty. I hooked it around my ankle not knowing what else to do with it and crawled under the covers. Under the blankets I felt so warm and cozy yet the night still had me puzzled. I didn't want to but I fell asleep