"What happened? What was he doing? Liam asks after I finally stop sobbing.
"He was all over Molly, then he kissed her in front of me, literally five feet away from me." I tell him.
"Did I hear him say that he loves you?" He asks quietly.
"Yea...I don't know want that was about. He was just tying to cause a scene or something." I still haven't been able to come up with a logical explanation.
"Do you think...don't get mad at me...but do you think that maybe he does? You know, love you."
"What? Of course not. I am not even sure if he even likes me, I mean when we are alone he is so different, and I think maybe he does care about me but then once we get around people he is totally different. But I know he doesn't love me. He isn't capable of loving anyone other than himself." I explain.
"I'm on your side Tessa, I am. but I saw the look on his face as we drove away, he looked heartbroken and you can't be heartbroken if you aren't in love." Liam says. That can't be true, I felt my heart shatter when he kissed Molly but I don't love him.
"Do you love him?" He simply asks.
"No, I don't love him...he is...well...he's a jerk. I have known him less than two months, and half of that...actually all of that time we have spent fighting. You can't love someone after two months of meeting them." My voice comes out strained and my words too quick. "Besides, he is a jerk."
"You already said that." Liam says and I notice the hint of smile on his lips as he tries to keep his expression neutral.
I don't like the pressure that I feel in my chest as we are talking about me loving Harry. It makes me feel nauseous and the space in the car feels much smaller. I roll down the window a little and lean my head against the window.
"Do you want to come back to my house or your dorm.?" He asks. I want to go to my dorm and curl into a ball on bed but I am afraid Steph or Harry will show up. The chance of Harry coming to his father's house is so slim, that seems to be the better option.
"Your house, but can we go by my room so I can grab some clothes? I am so sorry for asking you to drive me all over." I tell him and mean it.
"Tessa, you haven't asked very much of me. The drive is short and you are my friend, stop thanking me and apologizing to me for driving you." he says sternly but his sweet smile makes me laugh.
He is the best person I have met here and I am so lucky to have him.
"Well let me thank you one last time for being such a great friend to me." I say and he frowns playfully.
"You're welcome, now let's move on." he says and I nod.
I rush around my room to gather a change of clothes and my books. I feel like I never stay in my room anymore. This will be the first night in five days that I will be staying without Harry. I was beginning to get used to it, how foolish of me. I grab my phone out of my drawer and walk back to Liam's car.
When we get to his house it is after eleven o'clock. I am exhausted and thankful that Ken and Karen as asleep when we arrive. Liam puts a pizza in the oven for us and I eat another one of my cupcakes from earlier. Baking with Karen seems like a week ago, not hours. I have had such a long day and it started so well with my morning with Harry, the internship, and the he ruined it, just like he always does. After we eat the pizza, Liam and I walk back upstairs and he shows me back to the guest room that is stayed in last time. Well I didn't quite stay in there because I was woken up by a screaming Harry. Time hasn't made sense since I met him, everything has happened so quickly and it makes me dizzy to think about the better times we have had. I thank Liam again and he rolls his eyes at me before leaving me and go inside his room. I turn my phone on to find many texts from Harry, Steph and my mom. I delete all of them, except the message from my mother, without reading them. I already know what they will say and I have had enough of it today. I turn my ringtone and text notifications in silent and sit my phone on the nightstand.
I put my pajamas and climb onto the bed, it is one in the morning. I have to wake up in four hours, tomorrow is going to be a long day. if I would have missed my morning class today, I would just stay home, well here. Or go back to my dorm. Why did I convinced Harry to back to Literature? After tossing and turning, I roll over to check the time. it's almost three. Despite the fact that today has been presumably the best, and then worst day of my life, I am too exhausted to even sleep.
Before I realize what I am doing I am standing in front of Harry bedroom door. With no one around by myself to judge me, I open the second drawer and grab a white t-shirt, I can tell that it has never been worn but I don't care. I pull my own shirt off and replace it. I lay down on the bed and bury my head in the pillow. Harry's minty scent fills my nostrils and I finally fall asleep.
Harry's POV.
"Come on Niall...just let me use your phone." I beg.
"She didn't answer your number, Steph's number, or Tristan's, she isn't going to answer mine. He tells me. I roll my eyes and snatch his phone out of his hands.
"I'm not calling her." I snap as my fingers dial her number. I know she isn't going to answer by now, but I can't help it. She is too stubborn, she will surely avoid me for days, if she ever speaks to me again. When I get her voicemail I hang up and hand Niall back his phone. He retrieves it with a smirk plastered across his face.
"Don't look at me like that." I warn him. He raises his hands defensively and walks away.
I walk back over to the couch where Molly, Steph and Tristan are sitting and plop down on the end.
"Why don't you just go to our room? I am sure she is there studying or sleeping." Steph tells me.
"Or crying" Molly adds. I glare at her. "Chill out, it's not like she is anything to miss, she's a prudish, annoying..."
"Shut the fuck up Molly! Damn, just shut up!" I yell. She jerks away, obviously frightened but I don't give a shit.
"Don't forget what I can do Harry. " She says through her teeth.
"I can do things much worse than that Molly, so watch your fucking tongue." I tell her and stand up.
"Give me the key." I demand and hold my hand out while Steph digs in her purse. As soon as it drops into my hand I head to my car. I haven't seen Zayn in at least thirty minutes, he better not be with Tessa.
No one has mentioned my declaration of love for Tessa, they must know better. I don't know what I was thinking calling it out that way, I just couldn't bear to watch her leaving thinking I don't care about her. I love her, and I have loved her since the first time I woke up to find her small arms wrapped around my waist. I didn't even realize what the feeling was when it happened, but I found myself drawn to her in an unexplainable way. I love the way she looks at me, especially when she thinks I am unaware. I love the way she yells at me and rolls her eyes when I make crude remarks to her. She has been there for me despite everything horrible thing that I have done to her, in a way that no one else has. I wish I had explanation to give her for treating her this way or for letting Molly sit on my lap, but I don't. The best thing I can come up with is that I don't know how to deal with the intensity of my feelings for her, I don't like to be vulnerable to anyone and loving Tessa gives her more control over me than I can deal with so I push her away. It won't make sense to her, hell it doesn't even make sense to me but it's all I've got.
As I reach my car, I try to call her one last time. I know she is going to be pissed off when I show up at her room and I hope she scream at me and even slap me again. I don't care what she does as long as she let's me in. What if Zayn is there with her? I don't see her letting him in her room, but she was so pissed at me that she might do it just to spite me. images of them kissing flash over and over in my mind, I have never been jealous of anyone in my life. I don't need to be, I always get what I want. Except for Tessa, first I had to deal with her obnoxious high school boyfriend and now I have to worry about Zayn. If only I could tell her how he is, but I can't because I am equally as guilty. If he is in there with her, I won't be able to stop myself from beating the shit out of him, friend or not. I loved the fact that I was one of the only two people she has really kissed, and now Zayn has ruined that.
I get to her room and push the key in. The room is pitch black, letting me know immediately that she isn't here. I call Zayn's phone and he doesn't answer. She must really be with him, the idea makes me sick to my stomach. Why do I have to be so fucked up? If I wasn't such a dick she would be laying I bed with me right now, I would be laying in her lap as she runs her finger through my hair, an action that I have never let anyone do to me before. I walk over to her bed and notice her school books are gone too, I don't see Zayn bringing her by here to get school books. Liam! she is with Liam, she has to be. How the fuck did I not think of the possibility of Liam and Tessa, I admit on paper they would be perfect together. He seems to really be in love with that girlfriend of his that I don't care enough to remember her name, so I hope he keeps his hands off of my girlfriend..she could be my girlfriend if I wouldn't have been an asshole when she confessed that she thought she already was.
The drive to my father's house is short and I practically run to the door. It's locked. I could care less about waking them up but I don't want an audience when I find Tessa. I scroll through my a number I thought I would never actually call.
"Hello?" Liam answer, obviously just waking up.
"Hey...it's uhm Harry, I need you to open the front door." I mutter.
"I don't think that's a good idea." He says.
"Come open the door or I will smash the glass and open it myself." I growl.
"Fine, I will be down in seconds." he hangs up.
True to his word, he appears at the door within thirty seconds and opens it.
"Where is she?" I ask and push him into the foyer.
"She is asleep, I don't think you should bother her. She didn't even get into her room until after one." He tells me.
"Where the hell was she before that?" I ask, taking a step closer to him.
"We are eating pizza, relax." he says and walks up the stairs.
"I have to talk to her." I tell him. I don't know why I am even talking to him.
"We both know what is going to happen when you wake her, but if you don't care then fine." Liam says and open the guest room door across my room.
I switch on the light, the bed is empty. The blankets are ruffles and her bag is on the chair but the room is empty.
"Did she leave?" I panic.
"No, she couldn't have, I would have heard her and she doesn't even have a car."
If she is walking around alone at three am, I will lose it. My eyes drift to my door behind Liam and I walk past him to open it. The small lamp on the nightstand is switched on and I step on something as I walk into the room. A shirt? Tessa's shirt. She is curled up on her side wearing a white t-shirt, my heart leaps when I see that one of the dresser drawer is open slightly. She is wearing one of my shirts, laying in my bed, hugging onto my pillow with her long hair sprawled out above her head like a halo.
"I found her" I look to Liam standing in the door way, then back to Tessa. I want to smooth the crease out of her forehead that I know I caused, and kiss the frown off of her full lips. I can't wake her, I have already caused her enough pain today. I turn off the light and walk out of the room to the guest room across the hall.
"You don't deserve her". Liam says quietly.
"I know " I reply.