It's a sunny day, it's quite contrast to how i feel right now as i walk with my foster parents and to the site in the graveyard where Tony and jeff are to be buried. Taking it all in seems to be harder than i thought, but that doesn't mean I'm traumatized or anything... just a bit shaken if anything
it's been a week since that horrible event. Tony and Jeff's parents came to an agreement that they would bury both children on the same day and as soon as they could. Ever since a day after i was taken home my foster parents, my two best friends parents and those who were just curious had been trying to get me to tell them what happened in the forest but the thing is since that day i saw my two best friend's bodies that had just been found i haven't been able to say a word, even if i could i still wouldn't have said anything. Anyway realizing they wouldn't be able to get any information from me since i was still in shock they finally let me be.
We came a little late because of my little brother so we've missed most parts of the burial ceremony, as we arrive we see that they are about to put the coffins in the graves. There are quite a number of people here, this is the most tragic event that has happened in a couple of years afterall and thinking about the close relationship everyone in this town has, it really isn't suprising to see a lot of people here.
As we come closer some of the people attention divert to us. Getting even closer I can hear their whispers since my earing has been really keen since the upgrade ( as i like to call it).
I know they are talking about me since I can hear them, but even if my hearing isn't as it is i would still be able to tell just by their piercing gazes that they were talking about me.
Rosa my foster mother rushes forward to console Jeff's mom since they are pretty close friends. As i am about to stand next to my foster mother my foster father lightly pulls me.
"this way" he whispers loud enough for me to hear.
he leads me to where my uncle stands is. Seeing my uncle I feel a tad bit relieved and glad though it's not enough to lighten up my mood, but still I do feel quite grateful to see someone who isn't half as perfunctional as my foster parents are towards me. I missed him so much during this past week because ever since that day he comforted me i haven't seen him since then because he had a lot of work on his hands afterall he did take a day off from all the work he had to do on that day just to keep me company. Once he left on the evening of that day i felt extremely lonley, so you can say i really do feel glad to be seeing him again.
As i and my foster father come closer to him he turns his head towards us. Seeing me he smiles slightly at me as if saying ' are you ok?', I know he's trying to comfort me but to me that the smile on his face is more of painful than comforting. I try to smile back but I end up giving up since i don't seem to be able to get myself to do so. i simply go stand by him looking up to him for a second before looking back to the coffins being slowly dropped into the grave. Unfortunately, this only worsens my mood. I try to turn away but i can't bring myself to. Uncle who has been watching my reaction since I started standing next to him understands what i'm going through as he has always been a sensitive person. so he pulls me to himself turning me away from seeing what was going on because he knows that though i can't bear to see the whole burial process take place i also want to be a part of it but then even that gives a big blow to my heart.
I remain like this until everything is done. everyone slowly leaves until only my parents, the two children's parents, me and my uncle were left. while Tony's mother was crying holding unto her husband, Jeff's mother was already on the floor with my mother and her husband consoling her. my foster father stands back watching the whole event play out while i just stand there looking at the two graves and the parents of the two children, the only thing running through my mind is me telling myself how much they don't deserve it