I've always wanted a life, as simple as possible. I thought my boyfriend made my life perfect. But little did I know, he's the one who made my life a living hell. I never really thought, that the guy I loved, with all my heart, would end up being my abuser.
————
•Flashback.•
"I can't believe you'd doubt me!!!" -I yelled, following my boyfriend to the washroom.
"Why wouldn't I? You were being such a slut in front of him. Everybody noticed it." -Chris said, mocking me
"Slut? I have nothing to say. You're unbelievable!!!" -I said, shocked.
-We stared at each other. There was a long silence before I continued speaking.
"Let's breakup." -I started.
"I'm tired, of this relationship now. You treat me like shit. I'm sick of your bullshit!" -I blurted out.
-Chris looked shocked.
I was waiting for him to say something. But since, he couldn't form any words, I decided to pack my things and leave.
I went up to our room, and packed a few of my clothes in a small suitcase, and stormed out of the house. With tears in my eyes.
I stayed over at my friend, Lexi's house.
I couldn't make up any excuse, because I would never randomly visit anyone's house, at morning 7:35, with a suitcase in my hand.
I told her the truth, that yes,
I broke up with Chris.
Of course, she was crying. (She's a crybaby.)
A part of me wanted Chris to come and take me back home. But another part of me stopped.
He's always taken care of me. Even when my mother died. I mean, I had nobody else to rely on. He looked after me, when I was a mess.
Maybe that was one of the things that made me fall for him. He's gentle and loving personality.
——————
One of the few things in my life, that I had to leave behind without investigating, is my mother's death.
Her sudden death has made me feel guilty about not being a good daughter.
'Was I ever a good daughter?' -I get this thought quite a lot.
I always ignored her. I was never there when she needed me.
My mother's murder, has left me scarred.
If only that day, I had heard what she had to say, she would've been alive. Alive and well.
But who would do such evil sin? What did my mother ever do to anyone?
I'll never know.
But one thing, is that, her death brought Chris closer to me.
Was it meant to be? I'll never know.
. . .
•Present.•
"This is probably my last warning to you, if you ever hurt my son, ever again, you won't live to see the next sunrise." -Mr. Dave Millers said coldly.
I am in a knelt down position, with no energy to look up to Mr. Dave. Chris's father.
I am still in the hospital, but not with the doctors in my room, but Chris's father and two bodyguards with him. They seemed really well-built.
"You should know better than anyone else, since you both have been dating for the past two years. That I get my son, whatever he wants. And if that means, murdering someone, then yes, I can do that as well. Do you understand?" -He asked, brutally.
His words sounding stone-cold, sending chills down my body.
"Yes." -I say, my voice sounding smaller than it should, as I shake with uncontrollable fear.
"Good. Now like I've said before, after your discharge, we'll hold the wedding. And I'm not taking a 'no' for an answer. Got it?" -He said.
I nodded silently, having no energy to speak.
"Now, if you'll excuse me." -Saying so, he left with the two other men.
-I could hear the door open and shut.
As soon as they left, I broke down in tears. The tears just wouldn't stop.
What has my life become to?
. . .
~3 Hours earlier;~
"I want to breakup!!!" -I yell at Chris, not caring who hears my voice.
He stares at me, his tears almost falling. In his hand, a little box. Which holds the same ring, which he showed at our apartment.
"But... But, babe... I... I... I can change!" -He exclaims.
-I scoff. "Please, stop lying! I'm sick and tired of this."
"But babe, we broke up back then as well, and you still came back to me. How do you guarantee you won't this time?" -He said, with sarcasm in his tone.
"That was a mistake I made back then. This time, I won't, I promise." -I say.
We both stare at each other.
"My mind's made up, I'm leaving this place, and I'm leaving you. Let's see what you can do." -I say.
Little did I know, he won't do anything. His father would.
. . .
I lay in the hospital bed, thinking of ways to kill myself. This life is not worth living anymore.
The sad thing is, I can't kill myself nor can I run away. There are two guards outside my room door. There's CCTV cameras everywhere.
I sigh to myself, with no tears left to cry.
A nurse comes in. She looks at me with pity in her eyes.
"You've got yourself in quite a trouble." -She says.
I can't help but nod. Because what she just said, is true. It was like a nightmare dressed in a daydream.
"Is there anything you can give me that'll kill me?" -I ask.
-She laughs, like; as if I just told a joke. But, I'm dead serious.
"Here, why don't you take this little mp3 player? It'll sooth your mind." -She says, as she hands me over the mp3 player. She checks on the machines, adjusts my tube, and leaves.
Not having anything to do, I play the mp3. A song starts;
9-1-1 what's your emergency?
(Heavy breathing.)
"Don't think I can take it
With every drama a piece of me dies
Like some kind of sadist
I think that he likes to see the pain in my eyes
He knows that I'm lovesick
He kissed me and promised I will be alright
We both know it's bullshit
The longer I'm with him the less I'm alive
Doctors on the other line cause he's not coming home tonight
And I just took my very last pill
Need something to numb the pain
Demons knocking on my brain
I think they coming in for the kill
Nine one one, I need someone
My baby plays me like a game
I'm not having fun
Nine one one, tell him he's
Why my heart is always aching
And I gotta be done cause
I, I, I gotta lose my guy
Or I'm, I'm, I'm gonna lose my mind
You must think that I'm crazy
Well he does too so I guess that makes three
Need someone to save me
I'd really appreciate if you'd intervene
Doctors on the other line cause he's not coming home tonight
Can't seem to find my bottle off pills
Swear to God I'm not insane
The voices only say his name
When I'm starting to think that they're real (scream)
Nine one one, I need someone (need someone)
My baby plays me like a game
I'm not having fun (not having fun)
Nine one one, tell him he's
Why my heart is always aching
And I gotta be done cause (gotta be, gotta be done)
I, I, I gotta lose my guy
Or I'm, I'm, I'm gonna lose my mind
Nine one one, I need someone (need someone)
My baby plays me like a game
I'm not having fun (not having fun)
Nine one one, tell him he's
Why my heart is always aching
And I gotta be done cause (gotta be, gotta be done)
I, I, I gotta lose my guy
Or I'm, I'm, I'm gonna lose my mind."
______________________________________________________________
The song ends. Leaving me awestruck.
Every words were something that made me realize that I should've called the cops when I had the chance. Now, it's not worth anything.
It's like that line in the beginning,
'The longer I'm with him,
The less I'm alive.'
-I'm slowly dying inside. While waiting for death to come to me.
Will it ever do?