Chereads / dusting off the monjis / Chapter 8 - Someone send help.

Chapter 8 - Someone send help.

I have always struggled with self-control when it came to snacks.

I love snacks. I don't discriminate. I love sweets, savory, salty, and spicy. All sorts.

When I open a bag of chips or a bag of cookies, my hand and my mouth don't stop until that bag is empty. This isn't a problem if the bag is one of those tiny little ones that is mostly a bag of air with the occasional chip but this habit still transfers over even when I get those family-sized good ole' American bags. Granted, half the bag is again, just air.

It has gotten pretty bad in college. I would buy those snacks in bulk since they were cheaper and I didn't have time to go to the store every time I wanted snacks. And I would just finish the bag in a day.

I was at my heaviest after college.

I am not sure why it was so hard for me to just stop eating and save the rest for later. Because I knew that the reason why I continued to eat wasn't that I was hungry. But it was just to finish the bag. Some sort of weird competitiveness that really wasn't necessary.

I have yet to fix this habit. When I see a bag of snacks, or chips, or cookies, and I know that it is within my vicinity, I have to eat it right away.

I think it might be due to the long periods of me trying to "lose weight."

I have been put on a "diet" ever since I was little. I was always the chubby kind of girl when I was growing up and I was pretty big for my height.

My mom would put me on "keto diets," "one food diets," "lemon detoxes," etc.

None worked.

I am still trying to find my own way to lose weight by cutting out snacks as much as possible, by decreasing portion size, by limiting myself to two filling meals a day, and even so far as trying to go vegetarian.

And surprisingly, this has worked. I did go back to my pre-college weight.

And I think that because my brain thinks I lost weight, I should celebrate with snacking.

I have been sneaking snacks here and there. First, it was just one cookie.

And just last week I had five cookie bags in one sitting.

Someone send help.