Lyn already understood that this 'talk' with Kazuya would be awkward. But, the atmosphere was far heavier than she thought it would be. Moreover, her gaze fell on Kazuya who was sitting far away from her. He is obviously trying so hard not to get close. To think a short while ago, they slept together and reconfirmed their feelings. What happened back then already seems like a distant memory to her.
She takes a deep breath before breaking the silence. "So, I remember everything."
"Yeah."
"But, I don't think we should break up." Lyn chose her words carefully. "I mean, this has nothing to do with my feelings, because if that were the case-"
The reason she wants to stay with Kazuya now is more to do with the stability of the Kingdom.
'That is so selfish of me. But right now, I can't afford to take action that will cause the people unrest.'
"-you would choose Rhys?" Kazuya finished her sentence for her.
"Correct."
Kazuya laughed weakly. "I thought so."
Sensing his pained tone she clenched her fist. She never wanted to hurt him. He has stayed by her side the past five years, and although he often disappeared. The first two years when she was longing for Rhys, Kazuya always made sure to return home. The longest he disappeared then was a week.
Her thoughts break off when Kazuya started coughing. Lyn edged closer and passed him her handkerchief. "Is it getting worse again?"
"Just a little. I'm sorry I couldn't help you the other day, I was stuck in bed."
"I-if you told me, I would have come to you."
Now she feels guilty, while she was enjoying herself with Rhys, Kazuya was suffering.
How could she possibly leave him alone when he is suffering? Lyn looked at him worriedly and Kazuya grabbed hold of her hands.
"You know, the main reason why I held back from seeing you was I was worried I'd jump on you."
H-huh? B-but now that she thought about it, it's true that his behaviour during the carriage ride- Lyn felt her cheeks turn red and Kazuya laughed.
"If I can still get that type of reaction from you, I suppose I haven't lost just yet."
"That's not funny. I thought you were having odd thoughts and pushing me towards Rhys without thinking about yourself." Lyn paused when she saw him flinch.
So he truly entertained those thoughts? What a fool, how could he after everything that has happened.
"Did you sleep with me with such half hearted feelings?"
"Uh." Kazuya averted his gaze. "You know that time we were both emotional and-"
"So your saying that is the only reason you slept with me?" Lyn got close to him and put her hands on her hips as she looked at him accusingly.
"Y-you know, is it just me or have you gotten bolder? Normally you freak out when anything intimate happens."
Lyn sighed hearing those words. "I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. I spent two years missing Rhys and spent the next three in love with you again. Thinking about it like that, my feelings for you should be stronger. But it's not like that." She trailed off. "If you heard about the dates, you know what happened between Rhys and me, right?"
"I know."
"Kazuya, I wasn't lying to you when I said I grew to love you more and that I want you to stay. I love you more than I did Rhys from five years ago. But, the current Rhys, I might love him more than I do the current you."
Yes, this is the answer she has come up with after spending time with the current Rhys.
Kazuya blinked and then crouched to the ground. "I was wondering what you were going to say, but I wasn't expecting that."
"You underestimate me too much. I'm not a fragile girl anymore."
That's right she is different from the past. The past she would have spent more time lost.
"I see, yeah. You know I was looking from the rooftop, seeing you flying on Kosome like that with your red cape on. You looked very cool."
The roof of the castle? Lyn frowned hearing those words. "That day, the temperature had dropped and it was unusually cold. You should have stayed in bed." She extended her hand out and placed her hand on his forehead.
The moment she did heat transmitted to her palm. "Ah, I knew it. You're still feverish! Did you truly want to hide from me that badly?"
"N-no uh it was just a coincidence, otherwise you wouldn't have found me at all."
That frustrates her even more, he is truly good at hiding. Indeed, if Kazuya knew she was searching for him. There is no way she would have been able to find him. Sometimes it frustrates her how powerful he is. Although she has gotten stronger the past five years, her power levels still fall short in contrast to him.
Lyn thought about Rhys. He fights differently now and uses different magic. Is it because he made a contract with the water dragon? In the past he didn't use a weapon often.
Oh no she is thinking about Rhys again, she needs to stop doing this.
"Thinking about Rhys?"
At those words her cheeks flushed red. "Ah- how do you? Wait your not using magic are you?"
Recently there is a popular type of magic, it's not directly mind reading. However it's similar. But it is a high level magic, only a few people have it. It would not surprise her if Kazuya could use it.
"No, there is no need to. It was the same five years ago too. You would always get that look on your face whenever you thought of Rhys. Whenever I saw you like that, it strengthened my resolve to back away."
So, in other words she makes a type of face that exposes her feelings for Rhys? An expression only for Rhys? She wonders how many people have noticed it. How many have realised? So it was stupid of her to try and push him away.
Lyn sighed. Perhaps even the former general and Teo noticed it. If her feelings were exposed a long time ago, then it seems silly to continue pretending.
'Maybe before Rhys exposes the truth, I should do it.'
"Rhys has changed hasn't he?" Kazuya trailed off. "When we had a talk not too long ago, I was just as surprised as you."
"I have to wonder what got into him. When we first met again he wasn't behaving like that. He was impulsive and unreasonable." Lyn trailed off. "Although, now that I think about it he did have those moments where he was gentle."
Whenever she would 'fall asleep.' Before she drifted off into a deep sleep, Rhys would come over and gently caress her hair and said kind things to her. But, he only ever did that when he was sure she was sleeping. He would never say those words to her when she was awake.
*Unedited*