After bidding our farewell to Cindy, we went to the canteen as we were starving. It was already evening by the time we went to canteen so there was nothing left to eat. We both continued to talk about Cindy, we were worried about her. After a while Justin came and sat beside us with three cool drinks in his hands. We changed the topic and recollected all the sweet moments that happened in the school since our childhood. We didn't want to tell Cindy's secret to anyone not even Justin. Even though I was talking to them, my mind was filled with the thoughts of what happened between me and Austin. After we were done talking and clicking pictures, we left from canteen, Justin told us that Aaron told him to wait for him, so we waited at the entrance gate.
I was still not ready to face Austin. I was hiding behind Rachel when I saw Austin and Aaron coming towards us.
"I'm starving," Aaron said.
"That's why we are going to the restaurant to have something," Justin said to Aaron.
We went to a nearby restaurant by walk. I was avoiding Austin as much as I could but I knew that he was staring at me. After going to the restaurant Rachel and I went to wash our hands and by the time we came to sit, Rachel sat beside Justin and only one chair was empty and that was beside Austin. I sat right next to him at the table since I had no other option.
Rachel ordered the food, Those three were talking about a movie which was released recently. Austin nudged me and passed me a paper under the table. I opened it slowly not making it obvious to the people who were sitting beside me.
// You don't have to worry about what happened earlier. It was me who turned around to talk to you. Don't think much about it now and spoil your mood ..... Keep smiling Jessica //
Was as written in the paper. I felt good after reading it, I looked at him and gave a bright smile.
His pen was a bow and his words were like his arrow which struck my heart. Even though that paper contained only few words, those words were more than enough for me to smile.
After we were done eating, we came out of the restaurant, Aaron left after clicking group pictures and then we went back to school where Austin's car was waiting for him.
"Let's meet up after the exams," Justin said to which Austin gave a nod.
"All the best, Austin," Rachel said.
"Thank you," he said and looked at me.
He opened the zip of his bag and took out something. My eyes widened in shock, it was ASA's magazine. The first edition and signed by the person himself or herself. I don't know if ASA is a man or woman because the identity was never revealed.
"This is for you," he said with a smile and I was sure that my eyes showed him how happy I was because of his gift but at the same time, I felt my heart heavy and a lump formed in my throat due to which I wasn't able to talk. I gulped and managed to say.
"Thank you so much and let's meet soon after the exams Austin."
"Sure," he said and then he extended his hand to shake my hand with him. His hand was cold and soft, I didn't want to leave his hand but I had to let go of him.
I loosened his hand after a few seconds and then he headed towards his car. I stood there still, not moving even an inch till he went to his car. I wanted to see his face before he left. I literally thought of calling his name out loud but by then he turned back and looked at us. His thin lips were curved upwards into a smile. Justin was waving his hand at him. He got into his car and left.
We three went back to our home as usual. After reaching home I fell on bed. I regretted not tell him my feelings but at the same time I felt that he would've rejected me. So I thought to take risk after my exams. I prepared for my exams day and night. I went through those sleepless nights again. The paper which he gave me in the restaurant , I pasted it on my wall near my study table to motivate myself.
After my exams, most our class friends gathered and few didn't and Austin was one of the few people who didn't attend the gathering. I left the party in middle after I came to know that Austin wasn't attending the party. That night I cried the entire night. My results were out, I scored 98% in my final exams. A few days later, I applied for an entrance exam to a prestigious university for fashion designing course. I thought of taking Austin's number from my cousin and talk to him on the phone and tell him my feelings but I thought it was bad idea. I wanted to tell him in person even though I wasn't sure if he would accept my confession or no. The days for my entrance exam was near. I knew that I had to prepare for it at any cost, I didn't want my present situation to affect my career. I had my entrance exam in the month of May, it was on Justin's birthday. I couldn't attend his birthday party. After returning back to my home, Rachel came to my house and told me that Austin came to Justin's party. I felt like the entire universe didn't want me to meet Austin. I never thought that our last meeting would be the last day of our school. And that's how my school life ended and even the chance to tell him how much I love him. I know that I won't be meeting him again because I got a seat in Fashion University in Canada and I will be leaving tomorrow. I know I can try contacting him but I don't think I will try doing it because it will only make things harder for me. I have sweet memories of him with me and I would treasure them through out my life, after all he is my first love.
I wonder where life will lead me. If we are meant to happen we will cross each other's path again.
GOOD BYE DIARY !!!!
Jessica's heart was heavy as she read the last page of her diary. She regretted a lot for not telling him her true feelings towards him. But at that time, she was afraid, afraid that he might reject her. She knew that he has a good impression on her and she didn't want to ruin the impression he had for her. Apart from that, she thought that it would be better to let him know after her exams. But who knew that she would never meet after that. But she never regretted liking him, it was because of him she wanted to change. The things she did for him to notice her made her a different person. Today whoever she is, it is only because of the things she did for him and also because of the encouragement he gave me when she lacked confidence. He have no idea how much she's thankful to him for his presence in her life.