Just like every other year, I celebrated Christmas and New Year by attending mass in the church and then attended a party in the evening which usually hosted by my Father's friends.
After our Christmas holidays, I started going to school and a few days later our results were out. I barely passed my exams, while Rachel scored 86%.
I was wandering in the corridor, it was during lunch hour. I overheard two girls conversation about something and was curious to know. If those girls belonged to any other class I wouldn't be curious but then they were from Austin's class.
I heard one girl speak about Justin that he scored 96% and then about other guys. As expected from Justin but why aren't they talking about Austin, I thought.
As I continued to listen to their conversation, her friend interrupted, "I only want to know about our class crush, Austin Ames," she asked in excitement.
"He scored 99%," the girl who was telling about everyone's score replied with a wide smile on her face. I didn't listen to them after what she told, I felt my heart heavy. I left that place and started walking slowly towards my class.
'Just a few days ago I was able to talk to him looking into his eyes and now after looking at our scores, I don't think I'll be able to look at him, forget about looking I don't even think I'll be able to talk to him. But I cannot stop talking to him, liking him just because our scores vary much. I need to face him and I know even if I wanted to ignore him, I cannot . I wanted to be a person who is worthy to like him or talk to him' I said to myself. I felt I don't even deserve to like a person like him, I didnt have any confidence in me. I wanted him to recognise me not as Justin's cousin but as Jessica Olsen, I wanted to prove my self even though I knew that he would be least bothered about my life, I wanted it to happen.
I went to my class and sat beside Rachel. I was immersed in deep ocean of thoughts. My eyes were filled with tears but didn't let them fall.
" What's wrong Jess, did something happen?" Rachel asked me when she looked at my eyes, she pressed my hand softly to console me.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"I want to study and want my name to be in the top Fifty of school academic list," I said with confidence after I opened my eyes.
I told Rachel that I would get into top list at any cost. She was surprised to what I told her a few seconds ago. She didn't respond quickly, she looked at the blackboard and then at me. She asked if I was serious. To which I nodded and said that I was really serious and wasn't joking.
"Okay, if that's the case then we'll start preparing for our final exams from next week," she said and gave a warm smile.
I nodded.
She didn't laugh or crack a joke when I told that I wanted to study, but instead she supported. Rachel was never a kind of person who would discourage someone.
"By the way, why did you want to get into the top list all of a sudden? there must be a reason. Tell me what happened when you went out," She asked me with a raised her eyebrow and sightly moved the corner her lips upwards. I told her that I overheard two girls conversation about Austin and his score and then told what I thought .
"Austin Ames .....So he is the reason that you want to study ....hhhmmm," she said in a teasing tone.
I said nothing, my dimple appeared as I was smiling to what she told.
She started to tickle me.
One day, I was in the library and was searching for mathematics book while Rachel went to search other books. I went to the mathematics books section and saw many books in the shelves. I searched but couldn't find the book I wanted.
I lost my patience as I was not able to find the book; looking at the books over there, I thought that I would go mad if I stayed there even for a minute. Thinking that it would be better to call Rachel, I looked for Rachel and saw Austin holding a book in his hands.
My heart skipped a beat as I was surprised when I saw him all of a sudden. I became numb, I didn't know if I should talk to him or avoid him. It has been two months since I decided to study seriously and since then I've been avoiding him.
I always hide whenever I saw him coming my way, I knew that I was being a coward but felt that was the best option at that time.
He saw me stand like a statue while I continued to look at him. She strode towards me and then he gave a bright smile which melted my heart.
"Hey !what are you doing here ? ..... I mean ..... Did you come to get the book or else you came to study in library?" he asked and slid one of his hand in his pocket and the other holding a book.
'What does he mean by, what are you doing here? Is he shocked to see me in the library. Looks like he thinks that don't come to library at all.. Well it is true that I don't come here at all, haha!!' I thought.
"I came to get mathematics text book and wasn't able to find it so thought of calling Rachel so that she could help me," I replied in a low voice.
"Come with me, I'll help you," he said. I gave a wide smile and followed him to the mathematics section. As soon a we went, he took a book from the shelf and handed it over to me.
"Was this the one you were looking for ?" he asked.
" "Yes yes, I was going mad since I couldn't find it, thankyou," I said and slightly bowed my head.
"Did you come alone?" I asked.
"No, Justin came with me, he went to physics section," he said calmly.
"Whattt!!! no way, we have to get there right now," I said him and grabbed his hand without looking at him and hurried towards physics section.
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Jessica never thought that those little time she spent with him would become a sweet memory today.
Today's Little moments are tomorrow's sweet memories, they say, it is apt in Jessica's life.
That was the time she decided her name to be in the top fifty of school academic list. She didn't even think if it was possible for a person like her. She just wanted to give her best, so that she could look at him and talk to him with confidence. And since then, her life changed little by little.