That wound I got yesterday... Yeah it was not great.
The only good thing about yesterday's battle was that we got the metal tip of a spear. Ish and were keeping it our common property with the plans of making a new normal-legth spear out open it.
But let me return to the wound. Nothing vital was pierced, thank the gods, but there were still some notable problems. This morning as I woke up I saw one of the most terrifying sights I could imagine: nothing. No clot, no crust on the wound, nothing. I was still bleeding, the only thing slowing my blood loss were random animal skins we used as bandages. That was unusual to say the least. Usually in less than a day I'd stop bleeding and a crust covering my wounds would form in no more than a day and a half. It wasn't so today. I was bleeding like crazy. And the pain... I hated it. What I felt at the location of the wound itself had turned into dull, consistant pain. I could make myself not thing about it, it was not a terrible. I had got myself used to such wounds. But there was also something else. It was constantly moving, pain in my heart at one moment, pain in the back foot the next. It was much sharper, but with time it got better. By a bit. Ish got quite a bit worried about me when she saw me in the morning. Back then I was quite unwell.
"I'm not leaving you!" she said.
"Don't bother yourself! I will get fine in a matter of moments." I tried to get up to prove my point.
She pushed me down.
"No. I might... actually I do like you as you are, a nice, weird-thinking person, who is... Let me immitate your words.. A nice person, preferably alive. I'd like to help you."
"I..." I was going to say something when I suddenly felt immense pain in my head combinated with some feeling or maybe a command telling me to murder Ish and everybody else "I think you are right, Ish."
"...you won't change my opinion no matter what. Wait! You agreed!? And when I thought you.. Whatever. Let's start with a new bandage, that thing is soaked in blood."
"I completely angree. It feels somewhat gross. Although in comparison that's not a bad feeling I admit. Just you're going to be the one to do it. Sorry."
"I think that was implied." Ish gently did her job.
"Well, Ish." I started to talk after a bit "Could you bring me the spear tip?"
"Ugh, okay." she quickly gave it to me.
"That thing... that little thing is responsible for everything." I started to mumble "I...we don't know much, though. It must have something about it... be it covered in some kind of poison or magic that has messed me up. Have Vrag or Gror check it on something. Please I want to know."
"Why do you want to have that done right now?" Ish asked "It doesn't matter much."
"It matters for me!" Even if I can't use the information, somebody else could."
"...you feel defeated."
"No, I don't!" I said through my teeth. "Just tell them."
"Okay, but don't you think that the undead was the one responsible? Or the undead WITH its weapon." she gave her ideas.
"You are completely right. This is why I need to have it known!"
"Okay! I'll do it, Stri!" Ish replied and left.
And I was alone. I could hear my heartbeat. And then I felt a strange urge telling me to get up and run, I couldn't feel or control my body. It first started with several toes and moved upwards. One moment I was tapping the floor with my index finger, the next... I am uncertain. All I know is that I was standing up and moving to the exit of the room. Step after stem I felt more and more terrified. I concentrate all my strength of mind and made myself run... run towards the wall, thusly stopping mysel. At least that was good. But then I started hallucinating. I could see the land from above in one moment and then home. Home where everybody was either dead or dying to the hands of undescript monstrosities. The cold, rational side of my, I desired to have, was telling me that it was not real. The fact that there was no single description for a single monster in the scene I was seeing was proof that they were just a symbol for all beings I knew could be dangerous. And yet it felt so real. In the vision dead larvae, men and women who never had the chance to live a life, were dotting the lands. Thiz was crying hopeless, Ish was food for the ravens. Lorthax, Freyr and Mother were giving one last stand. And I. In what my crazy head was coming up, I was the first to fall. A weak link. Food for a greater enemy. And I could feel every bite, every hit. Absolutely every single way to suffer that my sick brain was capable of coming up. I was feeling in.
"No! I want nobody to suffer! Ever! Nobody!" this is what I had started to scream as I was hitting my head into the floor.
"Shh... Everything will be fine... There won't be pain... I promise to by you." I heard Ish's calming voice.
"For.. for how long you were here?" I asked her, a bit... ashamed.
"For long enough." Ish replied honestly "And I stand by every single word I said. I promise to be by your side forever. Just let's have you fine."
"I'm thankful..." that type of niceness Ish was showing, it left me speechless. Never have have I had a person speak words to me with the one and only intention of making me feel better. Lorthax and Fleyr were people larger than life for me, Fleria to an extent too. Thiz, I never got close to her that much. "Ish, say its the blood loss talking, but I think I love you."
"You could have said it yesterday, so I think it's the blood loss speaking. But I do have a strong liking, maybe love for you too. But knowing a few things about the character you've grown, don't tell me you believe you're at death's door and this your chance of a strong emotion towards the people around you."
"All I can say is that... You deserve appreciation... and nobody deserves suffering."
"How noble of you!" she said half sarcastically and then decided to kiss me "Let's remove your bandage now."
The blood had black and gray patches within itself.
"That doesn't look good." said Ish.
"You're telling me it. Well just cove..." I started to talk when a crazy idea formed in my head "Ish, before I tell you what I think I need to have you give me your opinion on several matters."
"Well, okay." she said.
"Initially yesterday, before the first instance of the other pain source my bleeding was slowly stopping. Is that correct?"
"Yeah, I think it was."
"This black blood, the curse, or whatever this is, and pain are all linked?"
She nodded.
"What are the chances of the blackness causing all my problems?"
"I see what you're thinking. It's logical. And your conclusion is that?"
"I think that my body knows what is best for myself and it formed no clot for a reason: having the infection flow out of my blood stream before it gets too late and I'm driven mad."
"That does sound... well, I find no mistakes. But is it too late?"
"If we depended on the blood flowing only out of this... Maybe. But we aren't stupid, are we? We could make cuts wherever I start feeling the darkness concentrated."
"Ugh, could I suggestsomething less suicidal?"
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like leaches. Vrag is still here, the guy seems worried about your situation. I can tell him."
"Okay. This is actually much better. We can also make several tests a bit later."
"Very well. I'm going."
Ish did what she promised in a matter of seconds, something I was really thankful for. While waiting for Vrag to return from the lake (he'd probably take leaches from there) Ish and I chatted. She was trying to cheer me up. We talked about the daywe first met, the time she realized that I speak only formally and she decided to force herself to stop skipping words and sounds while talking to me. It was quite funny actually.
After Vrag got here we put them to suck from where I was feeling the worst. We also cut one open just to have a proof that it was drinking that disturbing black stuff. We also kept one leach free of my blood. I wanted to know how much an animal would change after being exposed to the darkness. I slowly got better.
I ate dinner like a beast today. After that Ish and I went to sleep, closer than before.