I considered going out to get the food myself, but decided at the last minute to send Nate out for it instead. I placed the order with my favorite place and it was waiting for my deputy when he went out to get it. It took Nate about twenty-five minutes to get there and back with our food, which was still nice and hot when it returned. I took the extra meal ordered and walked it back to the cell that was in plain view of the desks at the front of the lobby. I walked over to the cell where Jimbo was residing for the time being for the crimes that he committed at the campsite.
"Here you go, Jim." I said, walking up to his cell. "Same thing I'm having tonight."
Jimbo hopped out of his cot and walked up to the cell door to accept his meal. He hadn't eaten since lunch, so his stomach was seriously growling by the time I showed up with his last meal of the day.
"What did you order, Sheriff?" Jimbo asked, curious to see what he was getting.
"A grilled chicken sandwich," I replied, "With a side of Caesar salad. You can thank the wife for the healthier eating lately. Usually I order a garden salad with ranch, but I thought I'd get a Caesar to make it a little more tolerable for the both of us."
"I appreciate that," Jimbo said, as he didn't seem to mind. "I love Caesar salad, so thank you."
"Least I can do," I said, sitting down to eat my grub. "I hate to lock you up for merely defending yourself, but I didn't write the law I just enforce it."
"You could have given me a summons," Jimbo countered, "I would have shown up to court to fight the ridiculous charge."
"I'm sure you would have," I replied, "But we don't do summons around here. I prefer to arrest people after the crime rather than wait for later."
"Good policy I guess," Jimbo admitted, "I can see where that would be ideal."
"Don't take it personally, son." I said, eating the same healthy food as my prisoner. I was tempted to get the same burgers and fries that the deputy was wolfing down, but wanted to shield himself in case the wife came barging in to check up on my diet. She didn't do it too often but based on the tone I got from her earlier I wasn't taking any chances.
"The food is good," Jimbo called out, "Thank you."
"I'm not an unreasonable man," I said back to him, "Despite how this looks."
"I have no doubt Mr. Parsons is waking up lawyers as I speak," Jimbo said, "I didn't mean to put him into this position, but I literally had no choice. That cat wanted to take a bit out of me, and I would have been short a leg and in the hospital, bleeding out. It was me or her, literally."
"I get it, I really do," I said, as I believed the man. he didn't seem like the kind of guy who would waste ammo just to shoot a damn cat.
Things got awfully quiet from that point as we both just concentrated on our food and ate without having bring up anymore small talk. Yet that silence was soon shattered when my old lady came into the shop, probably to check to see what I was eating to make sure it wasn't too greasy and what not. Thankfully I hadn't tried to cheat my diet and was bullet proof tonight as I greeted my wife with a warm smile.
"Darling!" I called out, standing up to greet her. "What brings you here?"
"The diner just closed up," my wife said as she walked closer. "Thought I'd check in with you before heading home for the night."
"Is that all?" I asked, aware that she liked to check up on me too.
"Well, I heard you made an arrest tonight?" she said, mildly curious. "There are rumors going around that there was a shooting."
"There was a shooting," I confirmed, "But it was made in self defense. One of the campers at the lake was attacked by a cougar, and he put a few slugs into the beast and killed it."
"I see," my wife said, thinking about it. "And you arrested him for defending himself?"
"I had no choice, hun." I informed her, "Killing endangered animals around here is a crime. It's my job to enforce those laws."
"That doesn't seem fair," she said, holding up a box. "I brought leftover apple pie for you and the prisoner."
"That's mighty nice of you, dear." I said walking over to take the box from her. "It will be greatly appreciated."
"Hold on," my wife said as she looked over to the cell where the prisoner was sitting. "Is that him over there?"
"It is," I said, as I noticed a sudden change in her demeanor. "Are you alright?"
My wife took a few steps closer to the cell and peered at Jimbo like another that was looking at a child that had seriously screwed up.
"You don't know me?" she called out.
"My apologies, Ma'am," Jimbo replied, "I couldn't recognize your voice without that god awful smacking gum to go along with it."
I turned to face Jimbo, "You two have met?"
"Only briefly," My wife replied, "This is the asshole who lipped off at me at the diner earlier this weekend. The guy who said my toast was blacker than Denzel Washington."
"Is that true?" I called out, as I recalled my wife telling me about that incident the day it had occurred. She told me that a young man had complained about the state of his toast and made a big deal about it in front of a lot of customers. I remember telling her that I was there when it happened that I would have tossed that prick out of the diner myself.
"Not exactly," Jimbo replied, "I said the toast was darker than Don Cheadle."
Without warning, my wife snatch the box she had brought with her. All of a sudden the offer of pie was being rescinded. She then proceeded to storm out of the station, and disappear into her car and drive away. I stood there and looked back at the prisoner.
"Do you know what just happened?" I asked Jimbo.
"Yeah," Jimbo said, sighing. "I'm guessing we just missed out on some great pie."
"Best in the state," I informed him, "The kind that is so good that it brings a tear to a grown man's eye."
"Can this night get any worse?" Jimbo asked.
"Yes, it can." I said, almost laughing. "The diner supplies us with breakfast everyday for all staff and prisoners. Do you know what that means?"
"What?" Jimbo asked, curious to know where this was going.
"It means you're getting two pieces of burnt with your breakfast tomorrow," I informed him, as I walked back to my desk.
"Lovely," Jimbo said, sighing again.
"I suggest you keep your critiques to yourself this time," I continued, "Karma is already pissed at you, so don't push your luck."
"Yes, Sir." Jimbo said, agreeing with me.
Things got quiet again and the prisoner soon went to sleep. I resumed my paperwork and couldn't help but softly chuckle at the dumb luck of the situation. Of all people to be arrested for shooting the cougar it was the same punk that lipped off at my wife at her diner. Karma was truly working overtime today, so right then and there I decided to proceed with extreme caution. Because like my wife, that bitch was on the warpath.