She grabbed the hand that was outstretched towards her, and in that moment, lights appeared before her eyes and she began to feel dizzy.
Calliope had a hunch that she was going to die.
Flickering lights waved around back and forth, revolving in front of her like a kaleidoscope.
—
The sudden passing of my father was only the start of it all.
[This is a closed case! Count Rustichel died from an accident that occurred due to his own fault! If you keep trying to investigate, it will make us think that you have underlying motives!]
The investigation of the case had been completed with more haste than caution, and only left our family with more questions than answers. Of course, we couldn't accept the verdict.
However.
[It seems that the Rustichel House is trying to use the count's death as a means to rig the system to gain compensatory payment.]
[They had tried to keep up a reputation of innocence, but they've finally shown their true colors.]
The more we tried to find out the truth, the more we were scorned and condemned by society. Though we tried to explain our situation, the public sentiment towards us only worsened. They spat at us, telling us that the head of our household had become nothing more than a bloody body, and that we should just stay still and not look for trouble.
[I will find and reveal Father's murderer. All you have to do is eat and sleep well. When the sun goes down, go to sleep, and when the birds chirp, wake up and eat. You have to make sure you eat three times everyday. That's all you need to do. Promise me you will.]
To maintain my daily life. To continue to truly live, not to live like I was dead. That was my eldest brother's only plea to me as he left.
But he never returned.
[Lippe, you must survive and live on. Just think about that. Don't think about our family members' deaths…Just, forget it all. Don't think about anything else or anyone else except your own survival.]
My second oldest brother's face that was always smiling mischievously was now serious and hardened like stone. The next day he left, and didn't return.
And when he did return...
[Ah. Ah. Robert! Robel! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh—-!]
That morning.
My mother, who had previously accepted the news of my father's death and my eldest brother's disappearance in the most dignified manner she could muster, was now beating her chest and screaming as if her heart was being ripped out. As I approached her, she desperately covered my line of sight.
[Don't, don't look, Lippe.]
[...!]
What had my second brother gone through that his entire skin was charred black? His bones were bent and twisted, and his body wasn't even left intact.
From that day, my mother knew that our family had fallen.
Though she acted strong in front of me, she would always secretly throw up what she ate. Even if there was nothing to eat, she would throw up, and blood would rise up her throat and drip onto her clothes.
When the sound of war spread to our ears, I continued to stay by my mother's side. And eventually, she passed away.
[Lippe, my child....You must live happily.]
I couldn't be happy anymore, no, I couldn't become happy ever again, but she left me with these words that egged me to live on.
Perhaps that was why I couldn't just walk by a parentless child I saw on the streets. But even though I tried to help, I still couldn't save them. So I erected a tomb for them and sang a song, one that wasn't religious.
At the sound of rainfall, the world was silent like a tomb, and I sang, my voice faintly flowed this way and that, gradually ceasing, accompanying the world in its silence. I thought that no one was listening. Not even the one who had been buried.
[What a beautiful song.]
Until a woman's voice broke through the somber sound of rain.
—
Calliope carried painful memories that she couldn't ever forget.
She turned to look behind her at her carriage driver. She could see him through the bright lights that flickered between them as she began to faint. He seemed to reach out to Calliope, but for some reason, he couldn't touch her, and she couldn't see his face clearly. Did he regret that he had continued to serve her?
Earlier when she had tried to save the child, this servant had tried to stop her.
[You can't, Milady!]
Perhaps if she listened to him as he tried to stop her from trying to help the child, she would be safe from any chances of dying. But she was prepared to face her death if it meant she could help someone else.
[There is something that is worse than pain, even worse than death.]
These were her sincere words. Because it was the Rustichel Family's conviction.
[It is when I am not myself anymore.]
Even though she might die, her conviction wouldn't change.
[I have lived following the noblesse obliged my entire life. So if I am able to help this child, even at the expense of my death.]
She would not regret it.
[...If Milady's conviction is to help and protect others, then my conviction is to protect you.]
He had said those words, and now, as she was surrounded by these lights, leaving this world, did he not regret that he had continued to serve her? That he had tried to protect her in vain?
The woman in front of her smiled, and the pattern of light on the ground beneath her only glowed brighter than before. The light covered them both until Calliope could barely see anything else outside. As she looked out through her now fragmented view amongst the flickering lights, she thought back to her regrets.
There had been people who had shown their true colors, and also people who had betrayed her and her family, but there were also people who had died protecting her until the very end. And after they had all died, the servant behind her had been the only one left. She should have let the servant live, but she had instead gotten him tangled up in this difficult situation.
If, if there was one, just one more chance given to her-
"I'll give you a present, so in the future, let me hear your voice a little more."
The woman's voice resounded in her head. The voice only continued to get sharper and clearer, and Calliope finished voicing her greatest wish.
-I won't let any of those people die.
"Then try to change it."
That was the last thing she heard. The lights disappeared, and she drifted off into darkness.
***
It was dark, with not even a speck of light. But it was also warm, and she had no thoughts of trying to leave this place.
Calliope curled up into a ball. She felt a sense of peace that she hadn't had for years. It was as if she were back in her mother's arms. She felt like she could stay like this forever, in this motherly warmth, since she would never see her mother again. She wanted to keep staying here. Calliope complained like this, which was very unlike her usual self.
But at that moment, an unstoppable pressure began to push her out. No matter how much she struggled, it was useless.
I just want to stay here! I don't want to leave! I don't want to go through any more pain anymore!
"Waaaaaaaah!"
Waa..aaah?!
Did…did she just cry 'waah waah' like a baby?