The sun is setting as we walk along a shoreline with vibrant orange and pink colors painted in the sky. I always enjoyed this scene, but I never thought I could enjoy it more simply by being with another person. Not just any person. A best friend.
I glanced down at his hand that scraped itself against mine making my heart skip a beat. His hands were significantly larger than mine. My eyes focused back on the sunset but my mind never wandered from his lovely hands. I wonder what he would do if I held them. Would things get awkward? Would he not mind?
Time and my indecisiveness made the choice for me when I lost my opportunity once we arrived at our destination. Relief and disappointment set over me as he led me into a beautiful Japanese sushi restaurant. A place with my favorite food. I started wondering if this was actually a date rather than a hang out. Either way I was still in his company and whatever the situation was it wouldn't have made much of a huge difference.
The food turned out delicious and we ended up staying in the restaurant for a couple of hours and had some drinks once happy hour started. "I definitely needed this drink. I've been so anxious all day." I confessed. He looked at me a bit confused, "Why?"
"We haven't hung out together in a while and I tend to always get a little anxious before I meetup with you."
"It's just me. I don't know why you would be anxious."
"Well you're... never mind"
"I'm what? Don't say 'never mind' it's one of my pet peeves."
I finish off my drink and look at a random posted in the restaurant. I still don't think I can do this. I'm so terrified of losing him if things go wrong. I'm silent for a while clearly showing how uncomfortable I am.
"You ready to go?" He asks starting to get his belongings sorted. "Y-yeah." I respond as I grab my purse and head out with him.
The night is chillier than usual and I can see a puff of haze after I let out a big sigh. It catches his attention and he looks at me, "Why can't you tell me? Is it that bad?"
"No, it's not.. bad. I think. I hope." I say hoping it'll ease his curiosity but it just makes it worst.
"If you don't know if it's bad then it's probably not bad." He says.
I turn him around and pull on the sides of his jacket while looking up at him. My hands on his clothes clench harder as I suddenly start to regret this. "I..." I feel my eyes start to swell with tears at the overwhelming emotions mixed with fear and absolute desire. "Dalton I.. I love you." I finally say. Then I quickly pull away from him and find a wall to hide my face with. He puts his arm on my shoulder as I'm sniffling and looking up to get the tears down. "Ada, I love you too." His words hit me like a perfect strong chord. My worries and fears gradually dissipate and the tears stop. My clenched fists start to soften and I turn around and tightly embrace him. Something I've been waiting to do for what seems like years. My face buries in his chest and I look up at him as he's looking down at me. I start to feel nervous and awkward again while he studies me but then I giggle and hug him tightly again. I'm so glad it's out, and most of all I'm ecstatic that he hasn't left me.
"I just want to know what you expect and want from me." He says turning the rose colors down and getting back to reality. I remember his past. How he's been cheated on twice, even got engaged before. I figure he must be scared he won't meet my expectations. "I just want to be with you. That's it." I say holding his hands while smiling. Little did I know he wouldn't be able to keep such a simple promise.