'Can I come back to the past to change everything?'
Bai He Lian
***
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Why can I hear this sound? My clock just broke a few days ago. My eyelids are still heavy so I stay in closed eyes while I am rubbing around and I find something weird. I am rubbing again… I think my bed is not like this. Something that I am rubbing is so cold. What is it?
"He Lian! Bai He Lian! Wake up!"
'Wait?! Is this Luo Fei Yang's voice?! Am I late?'
I open my eyes as I hear this voice because I am sure that is Luo Fei Yang's voice. My eyes become bigger in seconds…I am lying in the same place but what makes me shocked the most is when I find myself sleeping while I am hugging the blind man from behind so that's mean. I am rubbing his chest...Oh God! Could you please let me disappear from this place. I am so embarrassed. With this position, it looks like that I am the pervert one. I wanted to retreat my arms but he turned around.
'Why! Why does he have to turn around?'
His blindfold makes me a little bit calm because he cannot see me but this situation still…makes me embarrassed because he makes gestures as if he sees me right now.
"Why? Don't you want to hug me?"
"I am not!"
"Owh? So…can you explain why your arms are laying on my body?"
I retreat my arms but he grabs my left wrist suddenly.
"Who is Luo Fei Yang?"
"How do you know?" I asked him back.
"You should ask yourself. Last night, you called that name so loud. Luo…Fei…Yang, right? So tell me…how do I know it is not from you as I am not deaf?"
As I hear his words, I just keep my mouth shut as he lets my left wrist go. I can see his cunning smirk framed on his beautiful face. I don't understand why I am still in this place. I am so curious about the young master but no one here except this blind man. How come he told me about the Young Master as he is blind?
"Uhm…"
I looked around but I saw nothing except a thick haze surrounding lotus pond and bamboo forest. I am so curious what's behind this thick fog. Is there something that can bring me back home?
"What are you looking for?"
I am startled when I hear his question because as I know he is a blind man so how can he know that I am looking for something here? I shook my palm in front of his eyes but he stayed still.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"How do you know that I am looking for something here?"
"I know because a lot of girls are looking for an exit way to get out of this place."
What?! Does he mention a lot of girls? Does that mean a lot of girls have ever be here before? I look at right then to the left but still no one here. Where are those girls right now? I looked around and realized we were too close.
"Don't be afraid because they have got what they want."
"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.
"If you don't want something from the Young Master, why are you here? Don't you know? Young Master can give you everything in your heart?"
"Is he a god? How can he do that? And…I don't believe something free. There must be something that they have to give to him, right?"
Hong Yan Jing looked at me with his mysterious smile and made my heart beat faster. I sit immediately while rubbing my chest to calm my heart. He approaches me but I am move backward until my back touches a big rock beside the lotus pond.
"I never know that you are so smart but I like it." His palms prisoned me between himself and the big rock. I try to not touch him but he is too close. "Tell me what do you want? I will give you everything."
I am shocked because now I realized. He is the young master! Why I am so stupid?! I have to know since just both of us are in this place. I close my mouth with my palm because I want to scream right now. I remember…that woman wants me to serve him but I don't know what I should do.
Now, the Young Master is in front of me!
"Are you afraid of me?"
I think he doesn't need to ask me! If he wants the answer so…Yes! I am so scared!
"What do you think?" I asked him back, I don't want to show him that I am scared.
"Hey…You are so brave."
"So tell me. Are you the Young Master?"
His face comes closer until I can feel his breath on my forehead. My chest feels so ache suddenly because a scene just pops up in my head. I see a young man who is pierced by a sword on his chest. His fingertips rubbing my face make me realize that I am crying. I am shocked because no one ever touches me because who touches me, he must die but this man who prisoned me with his body seems alright.
"Why are you crying?"
That is the same question I questioned to myself. Why am I crying? I think the scene in my head is just in my illusion because that man is so pitiful. I never met someone like him before so why do I have to cry for an illusion?
I take a deep breath before facing him. I am so curious about him because he can survive even if he touches me.
Few years ago, I killed them because they had touched me. I'd had no intention to kill them but it had happened. They've wanted to raped me. That time is so scary. I screamed but no one could help me except Luo Fei Yang who tried to hit them with her hands but at that time we didn't have anything to attack them. I had not remembered the details of the event because I wanted to forget everything about that day. I just remember when they touched me, their body decomposed suddenly. There is a bad smell when a worm and another insect come to bite them alive. They've screamed in pain but can do nothing. I am so scared.
"What are you thinking?" He asked again.
"Nothing."
"Alright…so tell me what do you want?" He whispered.
"Could you please move backward?"
That man just smiles even though I have to admit his smile is so enchanted but something bad can be disguised in beautiful creatures. To be honest, with this body position like this makes me so weird because I never did this with anyone before except with my-ex but we never met again after he had sold me.
"Do you know? No one ever ordered me to do something during these hundred years?" He whispered in my left ear and delivered a tingling sensation all over my body.
I don't understand this blind man. Why does he really want to give me something that I want? He must want something that I can't give to him. Does he want my eyes? Does he want to change his blind eyes with mine? Oh God…I still need my eyes to see this beautiful world.
"So…" His whisper makes me feel so familiar.
"So…I am afraid because I cannot give you something that you want."
He smiled again.
"Let's say…you can give me… your body."
"What?! Don't you know that I can kill you?"
"You cannot kill me."
I looked in another direction to avoid him but his palm moved my face back at the same spot.
"What are you doing?"
"If you want to get out from this place, you have to serve me well."
"What…What do you mean?"
Even I know what the possibility may happen but I still ask the stupid question.
"Owh…"
"Okay…I will help you to make this place clean. How? So tell me…what I have to do?"
He is laughing. Am I funny? I don't think this is a joke.
"Just wait for the Young Master until he revealed himself."
'Wait?! What does that mean?!'
"I've told you. I am Hong Yan Jing."
"So…"
"I am Hong Yan Jing…"
"And…"
Am I the one who becomes stupid right now? Hong Yan Jing is not the Young Master?! I looked at him but of course he didn't see me if I looked at him like that.
"I am not interested anymore!" He said while turning around and leaving me until I can see his back. I grab his hand quickly. I just want to know is he the Young Master? Because I can see anyone here except both of us.
"Hey! Tell me who you are!!!" I never thought that I would shout at him like that. This time, I am not afraid anymore as I am standing in front of him. "You make me confused. If you can help me back home just help me! If you want to kill me just kill me! But don't make me like this!"
"Like this?" He said as he turned around again. "You have to know in this place we cannot say anything that we want to. Even if I want to tell you a lot of things but you have to know that I cannot."
"So tell me who are you?"
"Hong Yan Jing"
"I know…Hong Yan Jing …but I want to know more than that."
"Then…I cannot tell you. If you really want to go back home. I can bring you back home right now but tomorrow, you have to come back here again. Someone will pick you up at six. To be here with you every day just makes me get a headache. Do you know why?" I shake my head. "Because you cannot help anything here. Looked at you now!" He shouted
I feel so happy when I hear his words but I hold myself from smiling. I don't want him to know that I am so happy right now instead I tap his shoulder.
"I just know that you are so pitiful to let me be here." I said innocently.
"What?!"
He looks so annoyed but I am so happy to see him like this. I just know that I can come back to my house and I can meet Luo Fei Yang and A Lin again.