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The Divine Maintenance Man

🇺🇸SouthToiletWizard
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Synopsis
New project I think it would be entertaining to explore what it's like for the maintenance staff in heaven. like really take on the role of the bad as$ janitor that cleans up after all the messes that the other gods leave behind and fixes the leaky roof in heaven to stop the chaos from eroding heaven so on and so forth. eventually he gets lonely and bored so he takes on an apprentice so that he can eventually retire. his requirements are lax so he gets a slumlord's superintendent to train up.
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Chapter 1 - Just another mess

In a humble little plywood shack it had a tar paper roof and empty beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays filled full of cigarrette butts all over its sagging porch. Inside on a ripped leather sofa much patched with different colored duct tape sat a non descript average middle aged white guy in a blue cambric shirt and blue denim overalls. He had kicked off his cowboy boots in the corner by the door and one could see more skin than cloth where his socks should be. Dirty clothes and empty beer cans were littered all around his couch. Leftover food in the kitchen in various states of decay left on the bar. The refrigerator in the kitchen was making a terrible rattling sound and whirring beyond belief before it let out a bang.

"Well shit looks like I better grab another cold one before they warm up." The middle aged guy growled. He brushed pork rind crumbs and cigarette ash off the top of his overalls then went into the kitchen to grab a beer. After he reached inside to grab a beer as an after thought he knocked an old pizza box off the counter and grabbed an wood grained Formica remote control then pointed it at an old 13" CRT tv in the corner buried under old socks. "Time to cut on the bitch box." he muttered discontentedly to himself.

*on TV*

"The Cerberus dogs have left a pile of shit by the rainbow bridge again Johnny Boy." said an angel winged beauty coquettishly with a little titter.

*channel 2

"John the plumbing in the fourth floor bathroom is overflowing again and the primordial essence of rain is leaking through the spiritstone drywall it's going to need to be unclogged and the cieling fixed on the third floor." a wise faced daoist scholar in green robes said with a guilty look on his face.

*channel 3

"Jonathan when you have a moment I need the bookshelves in the Great Study to be put back level the Thunder Brothers were causing a ruckus on the first floor last night. Thanks." a bespectacled grandmotherly woman with an ample bosom nodded politely after her request.

Many more work orders followed and each time the man's face grew more pissed off.

"Lose one battle for Supreme Emporer over 50 millennia ago and you get stuck unclogging toilets and cleaning up shit for all eternity... Time to get at it I suppose." he shook his head with regret as he took a long drag on his unfiltered cigarette and a final swig of his beer before he put on his boots and tool belt.