Yes, she hated him with every fiber of her being. So she did what her favorite song by Miranda Lambert said to do. She fixed her makeup, hid her crazy, and acted like a lady. Weeks had passed and she was tired of crying. She was tired of sitting with her friends, seeing them all laugh, only to suddenly put her head down and bawl her eyes out, making everyone in the room uncomfortable. Her best friend tried to explain to others that she was going through a heartbreak, but no one had ever seen someone so devastated before. Adaline had dark circles under her eyes, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her face had broken out from the stress, she'd lost 15 lbs. since the breakup. She wasn't eating, she couldn't sleep, and once she did fall asleep, she'd wake up screaming every night. Adaline's best friend finally grabbed her one day.
"Addy, get your shit together! He was a scumbag. I always told you! Do you really miss him? Do you miss him calling you stupid? Do you miss him telling you to jump out of a moving car because he didn't like what you said? Do you miss him throwing items at you or acting like he was gonna hit you? You know he would've right? One day, he would've!"
"Libby, I know, but he loved-"
"No! Dammit Adaline! He didn't love you! That wasn't love! I was scared for you! Your family was scared for you! Don't you get that?"
Adaline stared at Libby's face. She hadn't thought of that. She'd never really had a good relationship before and her self esteem was so low that he had convinced her she couldn't do any better. Libby grabbed hold of her friend's hand. "Addy, he'd call you fat and pinch you when he was the one that was 80 lbs overweight. He'd call you ugly when he was the one that wouldn't shave or comb his hair. He called you a slut because you're in a sorority and have male friends. He accused you of sleeping with your brother just because you liked to hang out with him while he hated his sister most of the time! He was a monster."
"You...you're right... I just always believed what he said.."
"You're beautiful, smart, half of the guys in this room now would kill to be with you, but you gave your everything to a BOY that never saw you. He just needed someone he could control. Someone he could crush to make himself feel better about his crappy life."
Adaline looked at Libby, her pale skin turning a bright red the more she spoke about Joseph. She knew her friend was right. She had been telling her all along, but she desperately wanted to be loved, so she put up with it, letting him convince her of anything he wanted. 'No more,' She thought, 'it's my turn to love myself.'
"Libby, lets go out on Thursday."
"That's my girl!"
—————————————————————
Thursday night came. Adaline put the song "Mama's broken heart" by Miranda Lambert on repeat and cranked the volume up as high as it would go. She grabbed the dress Joseph had said made her look like a slut. It was a beige colored, A line lace dress. The skirt fell just above her knees, the crinoline underneath tickling her legs. The neckline landed right above her cleavage, the scalloped lace border falling softly on her skin. She adjusted the thin straps and tied a black belt around her waist. She never did understand why he had called her a slut that day. As far as she could tell, all of her assets were well covered, not even slightly threatening to pop out. She curled her hair and painted her lips red, all things Joseph had forbidden her to do. She put on her black cowboy boots, fastened a simple necklace around her neck, and she was ready. That night, she had the time of her life with her friends. She laughed for the first time in a month and she danced with everyone that asked, young or old (although she preferred the much older gentleman since they could dance better!) She was so happy when the resident grandpa asked her to dance.
"Sweetheart, we haven't seen ya' here for a while. Where ya' been?"
"Sorry old man, I promise to come around more often! My moves were getting rusty!"
The old man laughed. "Well we can fix that in a jif! Just follow my lead!"
"Yes sir!" She loved dancing with him. He was the owner of the bar. He was a sweet old man, took care of the girls that came in, made sure there were no creeps ruining their fun. He may have been old enough to be her grandfather, but he was the best dancer in the joint. She giggled as he twirled her expertly around the dance floor making her curls bounce and spin and twirl around with her. She had missed dancing. So much.
As the night ended, she didn't want to go home. She knew she would go home and lay in bed thinking about Joseph. "Libby, can I stay at your place tonight?" Libby squealed with excitement and nodded, no questions asked. That's how their relationship worked. They didn't have to say it for the other to understand what they needed. It was always like that. No questions asked.
Morning came and Adaline's feet were throbbing. She stayed in bed, turning her head to look at her friend. She let herself give in to her thoughts. 'Just this once.' She thought. She looked at Libby's face, her lovely hair, her long lashes, her perfect, freckled skin, her rosy lips. 'Okay enough.' Adaline slapped her face a little to snap herself away from that sight. No matter how much she loved her friend, she knew she could never say a word. Libby knew all of her secrets, but despite her accepting Adaline's sexual orientation, it didn't mean she'd accept her loving her. She buried those feelings deeper in her heart as she grabbed her pillow and smacked her friend in the face with it playfully.
"Wake up lazy butt! I'm hungry!" Libby snapped her eyes open and glared at her friend for waking her up from her dream about Justin Bieber.
"I'm gonna get you for that Addy, just you wait!"
Adaline couldn't help but giggle and bombarded Libby with pillow attacks until she finally got up to get her needy friend some pancakes. Libby turned to Adaline.
"God, why am I your friend?"