It was warm and unbelievably comfortable. Li Wei haven't felt so nice in such a long time that she wanted to lay there forever. Was this what people called heaven? Truly, it was worth the hype, although something felt wrong.
For a villainess like her, shouldn't she be sent to the underworld for punishment? Really, she wasn't complaining. If death felt this good, then she actually didn't mind... It's just that she's gotten hungry by now.
Li Wei laid on the soft surface until she felt a person's head rested against her arm. Then, the woman's heavy cries filled the once silent space. Could the dead hear the mourns of the living? She knew no one would mourn for her. She wasn't worthy of anyone's tears.
Originally, she ignored the woman, but it was getting increasingly louder and harder to bear. What a strange feeling it was, to feel envious after death. Who else had died? The one who passed must've been loved dearly, for the woman's wails were heart wrenching.
In Li Wei's life, there was no one who loved her. After she wedded Khan Bojing, his family hated her. The marriage between them was a great mismatch. How could an orphan like her married the crown prince?
Not only was she a nobody with no background, Li Wei also got pregnant out of wedlock. The hatred towards the premarital pregnancy was ruthless. Bringing Khan Bohai into the world was one of the hardest challenge she went through.
Yet, she failed to treasure him...
At the mention of her son's name in mind, a tear slid down her cheek. How was the little bun doing? If there's anything she regretted, then it was not loving the little bun enough. For all these years she hated that she couldn't bring herself to love her son.
Khan Bohai was such a cute and obedient son. Li Wei didn't know how she gave birth to such a loving child. He always tried to get closer to her, but the more he tried the more she backed away. She couldn't love him because he was the exact mini version of his father, and she despised that man for many years.
"You must be so ashamed of yourself that you're crying even in your death."
That's right, whoever was talking was right. Li Wei unconsciously nodded without thinking.
"You stupid niece! How could you think of leaving this beautiful aunt alone in this world? How could you kill yourself? Just wait fifty more years up there, this aunt will properly teach you a lesson!"
Wait a minute, who was this woman cursing at? As a villainess, Li Wei couldn't stand the insults so she opened her eyes and sat up.
When the supposedly dead Li Wei sat up abruptly, the woman by the bedside fell down in shock. "A-are you coming back as a ghost? You must be a ghost!"
Li Wei realized that she was on a bed, in an extremely familiar room. The woman was even more familiar. Seeing the shocked expression of the woman on the floor, she moved forward for a closer look and grinned. "Aunt Rin, are you dead too?"
Li Fahrin looked at her niece in horror. Her screams could be heard throughout all the corridors of the mansion, "Physician Lu, my dead niece has awoken and claims that I'm dead!"
After checking that Li Wei was indeed still a human and not a ghost for the tenth time, Physician Lu prescribed some herbal medicine before he was dismissed.
"You silly niece, don't do this ever again. This frail aunt of yours can't take this much," Li Fahrin exclaimed with a gush of tears. "How could this aunt live if something were to happen to you? Dying for a man who doesn't love you is not worth it, my dear..."
In this world, even if no one else cared about her, Aunt Rin loved her. Letting go of her life which Li Fahrin meticulously saved for an unrequited crush was... For the first time since awakening, Li Wei laughed. How incredibly foolish she was.
Li Wei pulled her aunt into a soothing hug and gently said, "I'm so sorry, Aunt Rin. I will live on and become a good niece to you. When you're eighty, I will still feed you your favorite moon cakes every year."
Li Fahrin's eyes flooded with tears of relief this time. After more coaxing from the girl, she finally felt assured and left for the night.
For hours on end, Li Wei rolled in bed restlessly. Thousands of thoughts swirled and clashed in her mind. She couldn't understand what was going on. She really died by poison, but why was she back here? It felt like it was a moment ago, she was still the empress of Hai'an, yet she's now in Na'an.
This summer was of her sixteenth year. There was no doubt about it because it was specifically the day she tried to kill herself.
For a man who didn't love her.
"Hua Xifeng," she whispered his name, the first time she called him in this lifetime.
Hua Xifeng. This was once a name she cherished deeply, but now there was only emptiness in its place. The way she spoke his name was almost foreign to her ears. Never had she said those three characters with such disdain.
From the age of seven, all she ever had in her life was Aunt Rin... until another precious person came into her life.
She remembered being pushed into the flowing river, fighting for her life, and eventually drowning slowly... A young boy jumped into the madness and all the bullies scattered away. Hua Xifeng was her childhood savior.
When Li Wei found out who he was, she knew it was impossible to be with him. He was of royalty and she was of low birth. Yet, she couldn't help falling him deeper each passing day.
She fantasized about the moment she'd tell him she was the girl he saved and that she liked him. Really like him. The reality was not what she imagined.
What would've been yesterday, the first night of the royal banquet, Li Zhilan caught the second prince's eyes. Hua Xifeng fell in love with her at first sight. At the end of the first night of the banquet, Li Wei secretly saw them hugged in the moonlight.
Hua Xifeng confessed his love and vowed to wait for Li Zhilan until she could return his feelings. As the beloved daughter of the prime minister, Li Zhilan was of noble background. The two were a perfect pair.
Li Wei could only turned back hopelessly from the couple. There was no way Hua Xifeng would love her now. She could only cry in despair with her broken heart. If she couldn't be with him, then her life was worthless.
In the early morning, she took silently took poison in her room. Later down the road, Li Wei found out that her maid, San'er, had switched the bottles. What she drank was sleeping medicine.
At that time, she thought the bottle in her hand was poison and drank so much that she was knocked out for the whole day and late into the evening. Physician Lu had assured Aunt Rin of this, but the woman was just too worried to think logically.
Since that incident, Li Wei thought of all ways to take Hua Xifeng for herself. Initially, she thought of slowly moving on from Hua Xifeng, but the kinder she saw him treat Li Zhilan, the more she wanted him for herself. Her mindset changed and she embarked on a revengeful path full of anger.
Li Zhilan and Li Wei were never fond of each other. The two were cousins, but the childhoods they led were drastically different. From birth Li Zhilan had everything. Her loving parents gave her anything she wanted. She led an easy and carefree life.
From birth, Li Wei was the only sole survivor of her family. At age seven, Aunt Rin found her at the orphanage she grew up in and adopted her. No one forgot where she came from.
Li Wei didn't know the comfort of having parents. She didn't know how it felt to be loved. For any problems that she encountered, she took upon herself to solve it. In her eyes, Li Zhilan was a useless, rich, and spoiled girl who had everything handed on a golden platter.
If there was one thing the young her was proud of, then it was her beauty. Even as the female lead, Li Zhilan's looks could not compare to Li Wei, the villainess. For what she lacked in appearance, Li Zhilan made up with her talents and charms. She was the type of person that shone from the inside.
Thus, not only the first male lead, but also the second male lead fell for her bright and kind personality. With the two strong men by her side willing to do anything for her, Li Zhilan was untouchable.
The more she thought about her life, the more Li Wei realized that she was a fool. How narrow-minded she was. How selfish and shallow she was.
Her one sided love brought so much destruction to everyone. She ended hurting so many innocent lives and destroyed her own life more than anyone else did. If this really was a miracle and she's really been reborn, she vowed to change her fate.
She would not fall for the same man again. Hua Xifeng, the man she loved and went against the world for.
What a waste.