I wasn't quite sure how to react to Jax's comment. There had been so many disappointments over the years that I really didn't want to get my hopes up. It is soul destroying each time your hopes raised then horribly dashed, but Jax's strange behavior had me curious, I had never seen him act this way before.
"Okay, hit me with it," I said calmly.
"Ahem, well the good news is that the Ifrit can help," Jax said hesitantly, with that statement my heart jumped, startled I looked at Jax intently.
"Oh, and the bad news?" I could feel my heart start to race, calm down I cautioned myself.
"Okay, the thing is ... the Ifrit has a way for you to reincarnate, without going through official channels, but Brae, if you do this — you only get one chance, one life that's it. You will be breaking some many rules if you decide to take this course, and you must understand that when you die, the penalty will be drinking from the River of No Return. They won't be lenient with you" Jax said, his voice was dead serious.
"I see" I now understood Jax's strange mood, my mind was in chaos, this was beyond anything that I was expecting. Leaning back on the couch I started up at the ceiling, not sure what to think.
"Jax, how can the Ifrit help me reincarnate?" I asked curiously. I knew that Ifrits were death spirits, so I was really confused how they had the power to help someone reincarnate — I had always been told that only The Powers That Be had the ability to send a soul to reincarnate.
Looking uncomfortable Jax replied "You won't be reincarnating into a newborn, you will have to reincarnate into a mortal body that has died unjustly, who's soul cries out for vengeance, it is only by making a deal with the soul that demands vengeance will you be able to take over that soul's body."
"Shit, you can't be serious," I said shocked. I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't the bombshell that Jax just dropped on me.
Jax just nodded in confirmation, he tried to smile at me, but it came out more like a grimace.
"Why only a soul that cries out for vengeance?" I asked.
I was still trying to wrap my head around taking over someone else's body, I didn't even know a soul could do that. So what was different between a body of a soul you didn't demand vengeance to someone who did.
"Stealing a body wouldn't make the body yours" Jax explained patiently.
"While you could possess the body for a couple of days and manipulate like a puppet, in essence, the body is still dead, and it would start to decay."
Jax continued to explain to me "That is how the undead, are created except that the bodies they are given go through a special process that makes them stop decaying, and don't ask me what type of process, I have no idea." Jax looked slightly nauseous, I didn't blame him just the thought of my soul being in a dead body made me gag.
I had heard of the undead, never seen one — they were the forces of the Darklings, and only inhabited a few worlds.
"If you make a deal with a soul that has just died and who wants vengeance, they then grant you their own body, so the bond between the soul and the body is transferred to you, making the body yours."
"Brae, you will be going against everything that Shinings believe in, and unless you devote your soul to the Darklings when you are in the mortal world when you die you will be transferred back to Purgatory, and they will exterminate you," Jax said with a very serious expression.
Darklings and Shinings had been at each other's throats for a million years, one followed the path of darkness and the other supposedly the path of light — I had always found it ironic that the people I had been "birthed" too were supposed be followers of the Light. I hadn't seen much light in the past fifteen hundred years, and I sure as hell wasn't going to devote my soul to the Darklings either, as far as I was concerned both of them were paths that I didn't want to follow — I had a deep desire to forge my own path.
There was one more thing that I didn't understand about this whole thing.
"So how do I go about finding this body? I can't leave Purgatory unless I reincarnate" I inquired.
"Cinderstorm, that's the Ifrit will help us, as a death spirit he is drawn to these souls — as to traveling to the Lower Bounds I have a way, but Brae you have to think about this seriously, I don't think you should do this — it's too dangerous, there is such a slim chance that you could advance to an immortal, so you are practically guaranteed that you will only end up destroying your soul."
I could see the conflicted look on Jax's face, I think he must have wanted to hide all of this from me, I was grateful that he had told me everything, at least it proved that he treated me as a partner and trusted me to make the right decision.
Feeling restless — I couldn't think in the apartment, I left the apartment, Jax wanted to follow, but I asked him to give me some space. I needed time alone to think through all the ramifications. I strolled around aimlessly for hours, somehow I ended up on a hillside outside the city. In the distance, I could make out the huge soul tree.
Staring at the soul tree, I went through everything Jax has told me, and I thought about everything that I had gone through over the past fifteen hundred years. I don't know how long I sat there staring at that damn tree. When the sun came up I had made my decision.