Most people say that love is magical. I've heard the arguments both for and against it. I for one, tend to align more on the antagonistic side. Bring one sparkly magical tale of love and I can strip it bare down to the cold logic and why people do what they do, why people love.
For more than "love" of being together, people are more terrified of being alone, being left to themselves with their demons. They think that love can save them all.
Well, it turns out love cannot save them all. Cases where the demon inside has too big an appetite and love as it happens is not quite right and never quite enough.
Me? I fell in love too once, with this pretty girl but all I wanted to do was fuck her, all day - all night long and after 6 hours of staying together in a hotel room I got tired of sex altogether. Love to me then was just a polite way of asking a girl to have sex with you when you know she might as well have never done it. Curiosity kills a cat, in humans it kills virginity, a liberation, free from the seals that bottled you inside. Love for me was a way of venting out. All this pent up anger inside, angry every fucking moment, it was like Hell itself drew it's fires from me for they seemed more immortal than my own self.
Freedom yes, love can be freedom to free you from the hell but love will bind ever so strong that the illusory freedom you seem to have is just a new form a slavery where each is bound to serve the other.
Those who find love will already have lost their freedom and a trade like that can only be made when the boundary that one sets up is one in which he/she is comfortable. This boundary has its maximum size where both partners can go their own way still spellbound in their "love". The moment that string breaks when you are free and on your way, is when you are without love. You cannot be you alone and expect to be loved. In order for love to work you have to be two-in-one. That's how love ceases freedom from you without you even realising it.
I'm keeping my freedom for now thankyou, and by the way, love may one of the few indefinite things that can never be traded properly because often I have found people in the course to find their love end up loosing their life even and still without it. That seems like a one way track to me in that regard.
Mother, your son has one dark soul. I wish now, you wouldn't have known this soon. I'm sorry but, I don't think I love you. I cannot be that selfish bastard anymore, I cannot and will not be bound.
I am not lost and thus, I cannot be found.