"Oh man."
Ren groaned when he saw Chiaki sprawled and passed out on their bed. Shirt undone.
"Take him back to your room," Shinobu told Nozawa tiredly.
The other man assessed the situation. "How apt. That we'd both rather be in yours."
Ren and Shinobu were startled by the pronouncement.
Nozawa's smile was brittle. "Just stating facts. It's why he and I get along. Neither of us want each other."
Ren searched frantically for the right response. He hadn't meant to cause Nozawa any sorrow. He was certain that Shinobu would never intentionally inflict any pain on Chiaki either.
Shinobu only asked, "Do you need help carrying him?"
"No." Nozawa picked Chiaki up with ease, who made some noises but didn't resist.
Shinobu held the door as Nozawa hauled Chiaki outside.
"Nozawa," Ren called out. Then words failed him.
Nozawa carried Chiaki towards their room without looking back.
Ren's throat dried up as the door shut.
"You okay?" Shinobu asked with concern.
"Y-yeah," Ren replied weakly. "Anyway, I'm going to take a shower. We should get the sheets changed. I'll call the-"
Shinobu pulled him into an embrace, holding him tightly.
Ren let out a breath. Warmth and relief.
"What a mess."
"Putting it mildly," Shinobu agreed.
"Do you think they will be alright?" Ren wondered.
"Nozawa or Chiaki?"
"Both, I guess."
Shinobu was silent for a moment. Then he admitted, "I'm not sure."
"He liked me in school. I didn't even realise," Ren said with guilt nibbling his mind. "I'm not sure what I would have done if he confessed back then either."
"I know what I would have done," Shinobu uttered with certainty.
Ren sighed with exasperation. "I'm being serious here!"
"So am I," Shinobu protested but added, "But it's good that you both got it out in the open."
"I suppose," Ren was not so sure. "I should check in on him tomorrow."
"I'll look up Chiaki too," Shinobu said resignedly. It was the right thing to do, nevermind Chiaki's erratic behaviour and inexplicable actions.
"He probably misses you," Ren said, sad and knowing.
"He misses a past. Not me."
Ren gave him a tiny, odd smile. Not one of joy or happiness. It was too tight, too raw.
"What is it?" Shinobu asked.
"I'm so lucky to have you," Ren whispered and it was bounded in so many shades of emotion that Shinobu couldn't begin to untangle. "To have us."
Shinobu could feel his breath ripped. He tightened his hold on Ren.
"Idiot," he murmured.
xxxxxxxx
Unfortunately, Nozawa and Chiaki checked out early the next day.
Shinobu found a note slipped under the door from Chiaki.
'Sorry. It was worth a try though. Don't worry, I'll find someone better than you.'
"What are you going to do?" Ren asked when Shinobu passed him the note.
Shinobu raked a hand through his hair. "Not sure."
Ren studied the handwriting. "It's bold."
It was indeed in character, tough and brash. Hiding layers of complexity that Shinobu would never understand.
"He doesn't need someone better," Ren said softly. "Just someone right."
Shinobu decided then that he didn't want to try to control the outcome.
Maybe one day Chiaki would appear unexpectedly again. Or cause another scene. Or that this would the last time they saw one another.
It wasn't exactly the resolution that one would hope for but that was life.
In the end, they both recognised that what they had was physical satisfaction in their youth, driven by boredom and loneliness. Nothing more, nothing less.
Ren, on the other hand, got a call on his phone from an unknown number mid-morning and he took it at the balcony.
"Nozawa here. You still have the same number."
"Hello," Ren greeted and waited.
Nozawa sighed and his frustration was clear over the line. "About yesterday. I won't apologise."
"Nothing to apologise for," Ren assured him.
"Good."
Ren asked hesitantly, "Will you be alright?"
"I'll figure it out," Nozawa replied. "Maybe we can grab a beer with Arai and Izumi one day."
"That would be great." Ren was hopeful.
"Honestly, it will take a while. A long while," Nozawa emphasised. "You get it?"
"I do," Ren understood that it might never transpire. But Nozawa was leaving the door open.
He said gently, "Thank you."
Silence hung and Nozawa was solemn when he spoke, "I'm glad that I told you."
"Me too." Ren smiled. "Don't be too hard on yourself."
"I know. Well, that settles it. I'll hang up now. Bye."
"Bye."
Shinobu was packing their suitcases and looked up when he went back inside. "How did it go?"
Ren hugged his waist from behind, resting his cheek on Shinobu's back. "As well as it could be. But I think we left it at a good place."
Shinobu wrapped an arm around his. Kept his mouth shut.
He understood that all Ren needed right now was a moment of comfort.
Ren let go when he was ready and there was acceptance in that action.
"There is a nice town to stop by on the way back. Let's have lunch there?"
Shinobu replied softly, "Sure."