"Where is your husband?"
Alright you may look like darling but you aren't my darling. Because darling doesn't have a samurai sword on his belt.
"Who are you?"
*he sighed*
"My name is Vergil, you nearly just died and Dante's no where to be found. What kind of man decides to leave a pregnant woman unattended in a city such as this?
"Hang on I almost died?"
"...I cut a giant iron beam that some ass tried to drop and crush you with look at all the mini beams your standing in"
"...I was going to 7/11 for bandages and a slushee and I almost died...fuck"
"I choose to blame Dante for your cussing problem"
"...blame my old life that's not actually his doing"
"Why don't you tell me more while we walk?"
(If I had my black card right now I'd spoil her rotten just to rub it in Dante's face when he got back. But when I woke up after that Burst of light all I had was my clothes.)
~meanwhile at the shop~
(...why the fuck is his credit card in my clothes?)
V didn't even realize this til after he woke back up because its black to and it blended in with his clothes. It was on his person the whole two days and this is the first he's realizing it.
~back to lily and Vergil~
*awkward high fives*
"...no I wasn't asking for a high five give me your hand"
*confused goddess stares and head tilted*
"Look my love it's less likely for any attacks to occur if your...just shut up and do it"
*Vergil blushed and looked away while swooping his hair back with his hand*
(Da fuck is dis dude on there's a red fuckin ring on my hand-.- Welp I refuse to be a baby murderer so I'll hold this brother in laws hand but Ima whoop his ass if he does a creepy thing to me)
*lily reluctantly grabbed Vergil's hand doing so elegantly to lower his guard since she's refusing to break eye contact.*
unknowingly she just enforced his attraction and now he's convinced himself oh yes this bitch will be mine. And I'll finally defeat Dante once she gives me his whereabouts.
*the two began walking again towards the 7/11*
"Where you tired of purple?"
"No purple and black go with everything plus they cool"
"...are you unaware that your eyes are gold right now?"
"PRETTY BOY SAYS WHAT?!??!!"
*forgetting she's still stuck holding his hand she ran while dragging him to the nearest parked car to check her face. Since she's in her God tier form her eyes have changed being the first time this has happened she freaks out and screams.*
*screams*
(Again I choose to blame Dante for anything that happens to go wrong)
"Do they sell colored contacts at 7/11?"
"How would I know I've been gone since...how old are you?"
"18 why?"
(I've been gone as long as she's been alive but dam that's longer then I expected)
"I've been gone for 18 years then"
"While you were gone most humans devolved and the majority are just very very dumb and take offense to almost everything. Gay marriage is legal now to. Also feminists are making a comeback."
"....why my brother?"
"...for what?"
"You seem intelligent attractive and powerful so why Dante?"
"...if it wasn't for him I'd be dead,... he was the first person to show me kindness and affection so that's why"
(I hate him so much right now dam it)
"...who's president of America right now?"
"Idk this city's off the charts for almost all country's I've never heard of this place before probably because the governments attempting to hide the fact there's demons and people who are capable of summoning demons and use magic. They want to keep the masses pacified and ignorant like all government systems do to the people. On that note let's go in want some food bet the food in hell sucked."
"...I'm a man of class and honor so no this is a gas station love"
"Your loss I like slushes"