Having powers a two way street I'm not stupid. Thankfully kohai doesn't really have any dangerous requests or to over the top...-.-well I do feel like my ends a bit degrading but it's not possible to die from embarrassment physically just emotionally. So you know how most demons be like hey you must give me your soul or you must sacrifice something to me every blood moon or even bitch give me booty. Yeah no kōhai wants none of that. He'll do errands and off things for me....ok so this thing is like a freaky looking staz rip off because all the weeb crap if there was a special place in hell for dorks I'm sure he runs it. Also pretty sure my dork side isn't that bad.
Contact crap I have to do for this hell spawn because who'd just give you power and be your personal errand boy/girl with no strings attached?
[v's an exception because the fammilars were literally Vergil's thoughts/desires that were somehow given life when he sepuku's]
1. I have to make bento for this fool every day...if this was my kid asking for lunch I'd consider it normal parenting stuff but this boy is god knows how old...and I'm making him lunch everyday...
(Does hell food suck that baa-....fuck it probably does I need to fix that to...)
*que some stress screaming*
2. If and when this little shit attends conventions I have to make cosplay for him. Note I'm crazy good at that heck I even would go as far as saying that's my jam I like doing it I also like dressing up myself... but again this guys probably as old as time itself like Lucifer is...why are you acting like a neet?!
*cuts to lily yeeting a plate out the window*
3. This one....ooooh this one I had to go full negotiating on this one like in pawn stars.
[not the dirty thing it's when you fight over old crap your selling to a thrift store trying to get the highest pay ya can]
Ya know what Ima just cut to it while I cook this ass's food...
~que cut to negotiations~
"I'm sorry you want me to what?"
"Ok so ya now how in the 80s or 90s singers just showed up in malls and did their thing well that's what Japan's version of live shows are an-"
"But boy twins!"
"That's valid but after twins aww wait maternity leave...aww wait after the-"
"-.- boy Dante's protective as heck"
"....hmmm but I'm giving you a decent chunk of life by being your bitch essentially"
*spits Gatorade because that wording*
"Every month is a bit much though"
"....but won't you be immortal after you hit 21 since your just gonna age for a while to make the ship look less awkward? I mean he's immortal to. Heck I don't think I can die I'm ancient ask Luci."
"Which one?"
*He paused and then light bulbs*
"Oh yeah cuz different reality's are a thing you got confused by nicknames my bad so I mean ask Lucifer how old I am"
(This dudes an idiot I meant creepy god kid)
"...how abouuuut we negotiate when my husband is home?"
"You signed the fire paper aaand we gotta hash shot out"
"....buuuuut is his wiiife?"
"....does that hold wait on the fire paper? Hang on I'm texting Lucifer...and it does hold wait since I quote "your requests are retarded she's a fucking god let the husband in on the bullshit you incompetent children" soooo foood and cosplay for now?"
"Yes sir...now take care of the loot"
"Yes ma'am oh daaam you stole more while we were talking?"
"Yup cuz ice dolls those things are extremely useful"
~end flash back~
Lily's successfully made a lunch box for the dork. And Nero's back covered in blood and gore oh there's a eyeball on his shirt...
"Hey.....what are you doing? Are we having a picnic?"
Completely serious she stared him dead in the eye
"Signed a contract with nocturne now he's my man servant he demands lunches everyday....to be fair I keep my soul!"
"Lily wtf?! I leave you alone for a day and you make a contract with a demon Dante's gonna be pissed!!!"