"Again, sorry it took me so long boys." Exhaustion was evident in the sea god's voice. "And as much as I'd like to stick around and chat with you boys for a bit, I must return."
"It's no problem. I didn't mind staying longer... Hell, had we not I wouldn't have gotten a chance to see Jos awake..." Russ's words fell flat as he thought of their last words together. He'd done it again... He'd pushed his desires on her with no consideration for her feelings.
Ry arched a brow. "You gonna share with us or is it just gonna remain a mystery?"
Poseidon let out a huffed breath. "I'll share with you when I've got enough to share... You know how your uncles can be. Besides, I'd like to think you all have enough on your plates right now rather than want to bother with this mess. Get some rest, you two." He sent them a wave as he vanished.
Russ let out a tired sigh as his eyes moved around the empty hallways. "I don't think I'll ever get used to coming back to this place..."
Ry patted Russ's shoulder as he stepped past him. "You will eventually... Hell... Eventually, you learn to call anywhere with a comfortable bed home... With that being said, I'm going to give the place a once over and turn in for the night."
"Alright... If you need me, I'll be in the library... I... don't think I could sleep right now..."
Ry sent him a questioning look over his shoulder. "I take it that little talk of yours didn't go well earlier?"
Russ nodded as he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the time. "You'd guess right..." He shook his head. "When will I learn, man?"
Ry chuckled as he patted Russ's shoulder one last time. "I was just about to ask the same... Take your time, kid... I don't plan on doing shit tomorrow."
"Sounds good." He nodded to one of the guards who had stepped out at the sound of voices as he made his way toward the stairs. His father's ancestral home was no doubt beautiful even after he'd stripped it of most of its valuables... but it was still no home to him. He barely had a handful of memories from his childhood of this place and most of those were too painful to think back on with any level of fondness. He pulled open the door to the library and stepped inside, quietly pulling the door closed behind him. It was the only room in the entire house that brought him any solace.
Light breathing caught his attention as he neared the wide window seat overlooking the gardens. A smile curved his lips as he took in the lovely girl curled up with a book and a light throw. Her eyes fluttered open as he neared.
"You're back." Her soft, sleepy voice filled him with warmth.
"Yes, and you have fallen asleep in the library." He chuckled as he held his hand out to her.
A faint blush colored her cheeks as she set the book to the side and pushed away the blanket. "You'd said earlier you would be returning today... so... I thought I'd wait up for you..." She glanced out the window at the dark night sky before turning her gaze back down to her hands, her face growing even redder.
A pleased smile curved his lips as he hooked a finger under her chin and bent to meet her eyes more levelly. "Thank you. I'm sorry I left you waiting for so long." He let his hand slide along her sharp jawline. He watched in amazement as Jaden leaned into his caress. He bent and placed a light kiss on her lips, letting them hover just over hers allowing her time to reject the kiss and push him away.
Jaden's hands shook as she reached up to run her hands over his stubbed cheeks as she leaned forward and returned his kiss. Her hands trailed his chiseled jaw and thick neck until they slid into his soft hair. She tangled her fingers in the long, loose strands and tugged him closer as she parted her lips for him.
Russ savored the taste of her sweet lips but it was short-lived. Concern and guilt forced him to pull himself back. He sat down beside her and pulled her against him in a tight embrace. Squeezing his eyes closed he pressed his forehead against hers. "Are you sure you want this... with me?" He could feel her nodding against his grip. {Was this what Jos was talking about earlier? When I'm with her, I feel a pull... an overwhelming need to protect her and make her happy... and a desire deep down... unlike anything I've felt before but unlike what I feel for Jos...} He couldn't help the frown that curved his lips and caused his brows to furrow as he shook his head. "I don't deserve you. You could do so much better... would do so much better..."
Jaden cupped his face as she leaned away from him and studied his troubled features. The scent of Joslyn was all over him as if he'd swam in her essence. "What happened? Is... is your friend alright?"
He nodded cupping his hands over hers. "She is... She woke up earlier. That was one of the reasons it took us so long to get back."
"That should be good news though... right?" She tilted her head as she continued studying him, trying to read the deep emotions buried behind his turbulent, cyan eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He closed his eyes, unable to meet hers. Guilt ate at his very soul as her worried eyes searched him, and her fingers traced soothing circles across his cheeks. For everything she'd been through, she was still so warm and caring... so full of love and trust in him. He wished more than anything that he could return that same level of devotion back to her... or at least that he didn't have to live through the guilt of wanting someone else equally as much. His words to Jos from earlier kept reverberating in his mind like a taunt. He squeezed his eyes even tighter shut as he fought to control his enter turmoil. {She deserves my best... my full devotion... And by damn, I'm going to do my best to give it to her regardless of anyone else...} With a heavy sigh, he slowly opened his eyes and forced a warm smile. "How about we get you to bed? It's pretty late, and you must be tired if you fell asleep here earlier." When she nodded, he sent her a playful smile before scooping her up into his arms and standing.
Jaden let out a surprised yelp. Her arms shot around his neck for support. "I... I can walk you know!"
He grinned down at her. "Yeah, I know..." He didn't sit her down, however. Instead, he began walking toward the library doors.
He moved with calculated steps, trying his best not to jar her too much as he made his way up the stairs. He finally set her down on her feet outside her new bedroom that adjoined his. "Have a good night." He shifted toward his door, but a tug on his sleeve stopped him. His eyes widened as he turned back to see her still clutching his sleeve, her face a bright red.
"I... I'm not all that sleepy anymore... I don't have to return to my room right now... or later even... We-we are getting married, after all... and it's not like it would be the first time we've shared a room..." She kept her gaze trained on his sleeve as she continued to ramble on in a low mutter.
Russ whipped around and captured her lips in one rapid move, but quickly forced himself away from her. He backed toward his own room, again with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He shook his head. "I don't think tonight would be the best night... You should really go back to your room." He turned and was about to pull his door open when her hand tugged at his sleeve again.
"I don't mind... wh-whatever you are worried about... whatever happens... I wouldn't mind..." Her eyes held his, a silent plea reflecting in them.
Russ nodded, finding himself unable to refuse her even though he knew he should. {I am a shit person...} He berated himself as he took her hand and pulled the door open with the other. He made sure to lock the door behind them and released her hand as soon as he had. He slowly pivoted, scanning the room as he did. His eyes lingered on the whiskey cabinet in the corner. "Would you like a drink?" He asked moving his gaze to her as she stood awkwardly in the middle of the bedroom. When she shook her head, her hands fidgeting in front of her, he nodded. "Alright... well, do you mind if I have one? The Gods know I need one..."
She shook her head again and watched as he poured himself a glass and sat down in one of the armchairs beside the cabinet. She bit into her bottom lip compelling herself to remain calm and still as his eyes roamed over her. She could make out a few of the many emotions radiating from his brilliant blue eyes. Carnal desire warred with restraint and unease. He took slow sips as they continued to watch and read each other for several long moments.
Finally resigned to making the first move, she forced her feet forward. She took the glass from his hand and set it on the low table beside him. She traced the tense lines of his face with her fingers, massaging away the harsh lines. "This isn't like you... What has you so upset tonight?"
He caught her hands and brought the tips of her fingers to his lips, placing light kisses on each of them before tugging her into his lap. He tucked her head under his chin. He continued stroking her palm with his thumb as he mumbled out the best answer he could. "I don't want to hurt you... you've already been through so much..."
She tugged her hand free as she leaned away from him to meet his eyes. She ran her fingers across his brows then traced the curve of his cheek down to his lips. "You're afraid you may lose control and get too rough or something? You're a wolf... it is expected..." She pressed her thumb passed his lips and across the sharp points of his canines. She pushed the image of the beautiful silver-haired woman who bore the mark of a mate... as this man's mate, down deep inside. "There's nothing you could do that will ever be worse than what I've already experienced... not physically anyhow..." She searched his eyes. "I... trust you..."
Russ swallowed hard as the sincerity of her words reflected in her glimmering jade eyes. He cupped one hand around the back of her neck and pulled her face closer to his. He tucked his chin last minute and pressed his forehead back against hers instead of kissing her. "I appreciate your words... They mean more to me than you'll ever understand... but I don't trust myself... not right now... to not hurt you..." He held her confused gaze fighting the urge to capture her moist lips and carry her over to the bed and devour her whole.
"Your words only make me want to trust you more... The fact that I'm offering myself to you, and you still restrain yourself... It speaks volumes for the kind of man you are... the person you truly are... whether you see him yet or not." Jaden sat forward and pressed her lips to his, teasing his bottom lip with a light sweep of the tip of her tongue.
Russ moaned as he savored her teasing. He caught and clutched her wrists, holding them away from his body. He shook his head. "You know I want you, I've not tried to hide the fact. But I also know myself well enough by this point... and I know that if I gave in to my desires tonight, we would both eventually regret it." He pressed her hands to his chest. "I don't what to hurt you... don't force me to hurt you..." He begged in a low whisper.
Jaden frowned as she tugged a hand free and lifted his face to meet hers. "What makes you so sure you'll hurt me?"
His turbulent eyes held hers as he answered. "Because I've already hurt you in a way, I believe... I always end up hurting everyone I care about..."
Her frown deepened. She pressed against his chest as she shifted off his lap. With her hands resting on his shoulders, she glared sternly down at him. "Fine... I can wait until you are finished with this current pity trip... but we will have to move past this at some point if we are to spend a lifetime together..." When he only nodded, she released her hold on him and stepped back. Crossing her arms over her chest, she added. "I'm not leaving though..." She sent him a shy smile as she held a hand out to him. "I've missed you, after all..."
Russ smiled back, surprised at how much hearing her admit to missing him lightened the heavy depression that had begun to settle over his heart. He took her hand and pulled her against his chest. "I think I'd enjoy a good cuddle... especially if it's with you."