*WARNING: MATURE CONTENT! This chapter involves domestic violence and sexual assault.*
However that kindness was short lived. Joan sent me to university on the other side of Paris, so I got an apartment nearby the university and most of the thing I did for Joan were things that could be worked out over email.
Julien went to the same university, I found it a strange coincidence at first, but over time I realised most children from prestigious family went to this school, of course though I loved going to school with him. Living alone also made it easier for us to spend time together.
Until one day, we'd been together for almost a year, when I heard a rumor that he'd been caught making out Holly Bartlett. Of course I was so mad, I didn't have a lot of friends as it was and so everyone thought someone like Julien was better off with a girl like Holly anyway. I decided to confront him, so late one Saturday evening I invited him to my apartment.
It was already dark when he arrived, I was sitting the darkness of the living room staring at the door, when I heard the rattling of his spare key, being clumsily jammed into the door.
"Babe?" He called out as he opened the door, drunkenly stumbled into the door, flicking the light on. "W...what are you *hic* d...doing sitting in the dark?" I could smell the alcohol from where I was sitting and see the hickeys on his neck. I felt my heart shatter. I loved this man more than anything, but now I what was I to him?
"Where have you been?" I stood up, holding my head held high, pulling my arms into a fold across my chest. "I called you over two hours ago." I glared at him with rage, tapping my foot on the floor impatiently.
"I... I went out *hic* with the g...guys, so *hic* what?" He stumbled towards the kitchen and grabbed some water.
"So what is this?" I strutted up to him pulling his collar away to reveal, dozens of love bites all over his shoulder, chest and up his neck. "Is this really how you treat me? I'm your girlfriend, yet you go out and do this kind of thing with other girls? Do you even care about me?"
"So what if I did." He shrugged, pulling away from me as if he'd done nothing wrong.
"That's it, get out! We're done!" I screamed at him pointing towards the door. Suddenly something changed, his aura darkened, his once gentle gaze became cold and filled with rage.
He lunged forward grabbing my throat and pinning me to the wall, I felt my entire body trembling. I grew up in Sydney's underworld, amongst some of the most dangerous and ruthless criminal in the country, but I'd never been more afraid than I was in that moment, no-one scared me more than Julien did. The eyes I once loved looking into turned cold and never went back. He looked at me with such rage I could feel the shift in his mood.
"No, we're not!" This was the moment I knew something wasn't right. "YOU'RE MINE!"
"J...Julien... I c...can...can't b...brea...th," I struggled as his grip tightened around my neck, I could feel my head getting lighter and my eyelids became heavy.
"Oh no, you don't get to kill yourself away from me." His grip loosened then I felt his slap across my face, causing me to stay conscious. "You want to know why I had to go to someone else, because you won't give me what I want. But since you're so upset, I suppose that means you're ready to give up." His greedy eyes became vicious as he grabbed my wrist and dragged me towards the bedroom. I felt my body trembling as tears streamed down my face as I began to predict what would happen. Next thing I knew I was being flung violently onto my bed, as he straddled me and pulled off my top.
"Julien stop! You're drunk! Stop this!" I started screaming, hoping someone would hear me, hoping someone would do something, but no-one did and he didn't stop.
"You can scream all you want." His evil grin was like something out of a movie, "It turns me on even more." He lent down and started kissing my neck and groping my breasts, I could feel his body reacting. He started to undo my bra and pulling it off, then continued with pants and panties. I tried to fight back, kicking, screaming, but he'd just respond with a slap or threat, eventually I felt my body give up, I felt my soul leave my body as he forcefully took my virginity.
After he finished with me, I had never felt more disgusted with myself I want to die. Then he grabbed my hair and pulled my head towards his.
"You're mine! I own you, no-one else can take you!" He hissed, his hand travelled down my still naked body, causing me to tremble at his touch. His hand stopped in between my legs, as he pulled my entire body close to him, he then whispered coldly, "I know you enjoyed that, don't worry I'll move my thing in tomorrow and we can do this every night." He let me go and headed for the bathroom.
"W...why?" I started crying uncontrollably, I was too scared to move, too ashamed to tell anyone and I had just been violated by the man I loved. I felt so defeated.
~ ~ ~
So Julien moved into my apartment, but he never again became the kind, gentle and loving Julien I'd fallen in love with, he was suddenly, cruel, cold, insanely possessive and violent. If something didn't go his way or he didn't like the results I could feel the brunt of his frustrations. I had to cover bruises all the time, I would cry myself to sleep and even after giving him everything he wanted, he still cheated on me.
Months passed, one day I found out I was pregnant and I that's when I knew I needed to get out. I knew I had to find out a way to get away from him.
I was standing in the bedroom, I knew he was supposed to be at Holly's.
"You're pregnant?" His cold deep voice, came out of the bathroom.
"Julien?" I turned around to see him holding the pregnancy test, I had hiding in the bathroom drawer. His voice sounded a lot gentler than it had recently, so I had hoped perhaps this would make him change. "Y...yes I have suspected for a while now, I took that test a week ago and got my test results back this morning. I was going to tell you when you got home."
"Does this mean you're going to tell your mum about us now?" He walked slower, instinctively I stepped back, "I mean, we've been together for almost two years and I still haven't met her. Now we're gonna have a baby together, I think it's time I met your mother, don't you?"
"Mother?" I was gave a perplexed look.
"Yes your mother. You know Joan Richard, one of the most powerful women in France!" He started to become impatient.
"Joan's not my mother. I mean she adopted me so that my old enemies can't find me, but she's not my mother." As I spoke I could see his anger growing.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I'd never seen him so angry, the rage was emanating off him, his eyes were almost black with rage. "ARE YOU TELLING ME I'VE SPENT THE LAST 20 MONTHS LISTENING TO YOUR WHINY VOICE ONLY TO HAVE YOU TELL ME YOU'RE NOT REALLY HER FUCKING DAUGHTER!" He grabbed my throat and threw me against the wall so hard, I felt my head split open.
"Julien, please be careful, our baby-"
"OUR BABY? I DON'T THINK SO!" He violently threw me to the ground and started kicking my stomach. I curled up, bringing my legs up and wrapping my arms around my head and stomach, trying to protect my child. "I WON'T LET YOU HAVE TIE ME DOWN TO YOU WITH A STUPID BASTARD!"
Bastard? The only bastard in that moment was Julien, never in my life had I hated someone so much. He kicked and beat me until I started bleed, then he picked me by my hair and he looked me in the eyes, with cold dark.
"NOW GET OUT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AGAIN!" He threw me towards the door. I crawled out the door and stumbled down the stairway of my apartment building. It was in that moment I realised what had happened, he'd hung around because he thought Joan was my mother, he thought by being with me he'd marry into her family and would get control of RF. He used me and then when he found out I was nothing more than a errand girl, he kicked me aside.
On the way down the stairs I fell unconscious, I don't know what happened but when I woke up I was in the hospital and the doctor confirmed I'd had a miscarriage.