It grows colder as we move west the pups have have a new coat come in and it's amazing what winter can do there once red coats are now a white as snow and trying to keep track of them is harder but for the most part it's been fun I try to keep my self busy with teaching Cody how to use his wepon he has become good with it but needs more time to billed strength before he can fully use it as for his understanding of how it works with his mind he still doesn't understand it and can't over come what scares him most and take control of his mind I can tell that he doesn't know what he is doing and I don't know how to help him I sill don't know how to control it all that well I still fall into the nightmares where the hands pulled me down it's all scary I still see the other me but I feel like I am not complete I hope that when we get there they can help me understand this and know how to stay sane I left the wagon and sat up front I needed time to think and keep my self here I some times drift here and there I sitting up and look down at the snow cover ground but I double take when I see two small foot prints child like I stopped the wagon and look at them Adonis came around and asked why we stopped look at this what are kids doing this far away from a town I know and with out a parent what's going on Calista asked just some confusing foot prints what do you mean kids what they lead out that way should we fallow then she asked yes I have a bad felling about this we should go and look for them just to make sure there aren't any kids out there I walked in the tracks and fallowed them to a cave hello is there any one there let me go a voice yelled I didn't think I ran into the cave I got to a point and saw a little girl and a man pulling her my way he stopped when he saw me there are more if you I am sorry what do you mean of nothing died he came at me it was automatic I ducked out the way he jumped back by now Adonis is behind me who are you and what are you doing with that little girl he didn't answer just came at me with strength I have never met before I could barely meet it if it wasn't for Calista I would have never gotten out of that she haddenty nocked him off on me he fell to the ground the little girl ran to me thank you it's ok now but you need to get back I can't I am not alone she whispered what were she shock her head not untill he is gone I understand now you need to run out of here for now you will meet someone how is probably at the front of the cave tell them what happened ok she ran but the man tried to go after her but I managed to stop him why are you going after a little girl she is wroth a lot of money your a slave trader Calista said I could see the ager grow your not going to let you get her she said she went at him with speed but it wasn't enough I saw her almost be pined I kicked him off of her what is this I don't know but we need to work together ok keep keep up with me I leap at him made him move she came came and nocked him off his feet he got up fast I swong over and over how was he so fast she I hide behind me I have had enough I was mad now the thought of what he would do to her came to mind c you need to not make any mistakes ok I got it I let the darness take over I am still there ok but I went after him anyways the stanth was crazy Calista was right there he went to finish him off but something went wrong she was hit I could see the blood she fell to her knees the man was about to finish her but something broke in me I lost in my body moved on it's own I lost complete control over my self I was thrown into the darkness I don't know what to do I try to fight it but I am pulled down further and further down
What's going on she has never looked like this before she doesn't even let off the man through her against the wall she didn't even stop she went right after him she finally landed a hit she laughed as she dug the blade in she ripped it from him and did this over and over but the man stopped all most all of the hits but she still didn't stop she finally stopped when the man through her off she flipped midair and went right back at him I went in and helped her we finally pined the man I ran my blad through him but his last words were what is she .....the next think I new she fell to the ground her eyes shifting from blue to green Calista I need you to she struggling to say nock me out until we get to the elf village no! I can't do that I said as she faded do it now I am losing control of my self and I ...
I came in and out only for a minute I was losing myself my biggest fer it was happening right before me I held on just long enough to tell Calista to nock me out that's when I fell into the darkness I fell deep so far I couldn't find the top any more I lost myself I don't know what to do anymore I can't hurt you what is this your the one who saved me your the one who showed me how to fight your my family I know this voce it's Calista I looked around I need to .. what am I doing ...I need ... if I say here she will ..no I will not let that happen with out thinking i climbed I didn't know were I was going I just wanted to get to the top every word she said it pulled at my heart it lead me to the top until
she laughed and stood up cressida what is this you....she came at me full strength your next she gained stop this I can't I will not do it I can't your the one who saved me your the one who showed me how to fight your my family the tears were hot as they went down my face I looked up she stopped just before she hit me her eyes were a solid green the realization of what she was about to do hit hard she fell to her knees her wepons flying from her hands and the crying echoed off the wall it's ok no stay there she said I don't know what's going on any more I don't want to hurt you she came close anyways and hug me I am glad your back I am sorry she cried I don't know what happened to me I just stop we have others to care for I need to keep my self calm form now on please don't tell Adonis this happened I swear I will not let's go wate there is a second kid what the little one told me really yes I get up and steady myself let's go and look for a kid behind the rocks in the darker parts of the cave but nothing at a last diche effort I yell is there anyone here nothing should we go and get the hello it was almost a whisper is there someone there I am here to help a little boy came out from a bunch of rocks can you help me get home the boy had a strange eye color it was like a Stone I once saw amethyst I think and his ears told a different story are you a elf yes I need to get home can you help me and my sister I don't want to stay out here anymore the bad people may come back I can come here he came over to me and I picked him up we walked out if the cave there you guys are Adonis had ran the girl out with out me knowing I did tell her to run but I didn't know that he was there the little girl from before was hugging azzara let's go go where we can't just take them with us yes we can what do you mean they are elf's my dear what! Yup let's get going I walked off I could still feel something was wrong I put my bow back on and it all got better my mined shifted I was back to my self I felt better I jumped into the back of the wagon and helped the little ones in as well a day in a half we make it to a village finally some place were we can all rest I let out a breath I have distanted my self from everyone I don't want to lose control again I don't want that feeling of sadness to creep over me again the hopeless I felt... cressida hay cressida! Yes I wasn't planning attention we are here let's go in yes let's I go to get my bag but I am stopped a warm hand on my shoulder what's wrong Adonis asked nothing I lied I swear he could see right through me at that very moment lie he said but I know if you have something to tell me you will tell me when your ready but I want you to know I am hear for you he said while he smiled I know thanks I am ok really I smile but it fell short he walked away from me and said under his breath yeah right I want to cry and scream but I don't I want to tell him that I am lousing it but I can't I don't want them to be lost I .... I don't want to let them down I could feel the tears start to form I need to ... I walked into the inn and towards the room I feel something braking in me I locked myself in the bathroom but I left my wepons out side I don't know what's about to happen but it all went dark I was back to the world of my mind the dark black liquid at my feet and a pack work of wight and black what's going it's never looked like this before your losing it the not me said what do you mean the feeling you have are ruling your mind and your resolve is fading the not me said as she danced around me and if you lose your self like you did I am not sure I can keep the beast locked a way the what oh no I said to much she giggled it's time for you to go back your friends are starting to worry but I don't know what to do how do I fix this you can't at least I think so you need to find it out on your own I was back the I could feel the tears fall on my face it was warm and cold at the same time what's going on with me I sat there for a minute trying to get a grip of my self why now why when I am so close to ....a nock came from.the door are you ok it was Calista she sounds worried I opened the door and yes I am fine I just needed the bathroom stop right there is ...the cave think bothing you is that why you..stop please I ....it went quite my mind went back to the cave no I can't I don't want to remember I ..I am sorry I fell to my knees I can't keep it together any more I am pulled into a hug it's ok no it's not I could have really hurt you and I could do it again I am loosing my self again no not this no no no I shoved her away and locked myself sleep again in the bathroom I left everything out side my swords my knife even every one I love I pushed them away because I am loosing my mind and I don't want hurt them I don't want to see there blood on my hands I don't want that my mind sways here and there and I passed out on the floor
I went after cressida I saw that something was not right with her she run to the room took off her wepons I was stunned when she did this she never leaves with out them it's a safety net for her I here her cry and then go quiet I struggle to keep myself from opening the door I know she needs time she hasn't been her self lately I pick up her things and put then on the chare I went for my thinks I came back this isn't good I went to the door and nocked cressida she answered by coming out when she did she was a meet I could tell that she had been crying but she tried to hide it I couldn't tack it any more stop I asked her something I maybe should not have and she lost it she fell and stared to cry I pulled her into a hug I am sorry I wanted to say but didn't have enough time to say it she pushed me away and locked her self in the bathroom again I don't know what to do .. Adonis he has to know this can't be the frist time something like this has happened I ran from.the room adonis I yelled and tackled him I need you right now what do you mean kid stop with that right not and come with me fin I didn't say what was going on right there I didn't need for everyone to k ow that something was wrong with cressida she was the glue that held everything together I walked back to the room. i close the door there is something wrong with cressida she is crying in the bathroom and I don't know what to do she left all her wepons out here didn't take anything with her I know that that's not something she normally does and something else that's when I tell him what happened in the cave why did you tell me any of this she asked me not to she was over working herself between teacher Cody and getting Felix back to normal and keeping up with you not to mention she has been talking to the pups keeping them up to speed on what's going on she hasn't said a word to me in almost 4 weeks and she normally talked to me every night she she is just tired and then what you just told me means she doesn't trust her self any more this has happened once before it happened when she first foute Felix he went after crimson and she had to stop him and she did but she lost herself too but she came back and stope she could have killed him but she gained control she will have to do that all over again but she can't push us away let's get the door open and put her to bed by not she is probably sleeping on the floor so what's really going on is that she is exhausted and can't control her emotions right now and she can't see past what she did in the cave yes that it oh then let's go and get her then he picked the lock and sure enough there she was passed out on the floor he went and picked her up off the floor she leaned against his chest and and seem almost child like he put her on the bed but not before he took off her shoes and clock and set then aside so she is going to be ok when she gets up I hope so he said
It's been two days and she is still asleep I am struggling with out her here Adonis trying to help but he makes things harder I work with Cody and Felix with swords play but I never broke a sweat I missed her but I know that she needs to sleep and manager her mind I figured that if she is asleep then she most be fight her mind and taking back control of it the thread day azzara and crimson snuggle up to her and stay that way until it was time to eat I was just about to go and clean my self up after practicing with the other when I hear screaming I run to the room cressida is freaking out in her sleep I run and try and hold her down so she doesn't hurt herself but she throws me off I hit the wall with a thump that hurt but I got up again and held her until she stopped she is going to get better I keep telling myself that but I feel it deep down that she might not be ok the little girl came into the room is she ok I don't know anymore I don't know she needs to wake up I need her we need her I am lost with out her here to help me through the crazy the girl looked at me then to her I don't know what's going on but maybe she need to see my people they could help her my eyes lite up really I think so she said then I have to leave but I can't just leave every one and go you have to if you want your friend to live but ...I can't let her ... I grabbed my clock I walked out of the room with my bag in hand I went and get daylight I know one thing I was going and no one is stopping me I didn't know what I was doing but I new that I had to get her there fast I went back to the room and packed her thinks as well I then put her clock on and cared her down the stairs I used magic to get her on day I was about to get on when I crimson and azzara came out I don't know you two I lowered my wall and a bunch of pleading voices filled the my head tack us please over and over ok come on I placed them in the bag the last think I did before I left was Leve a note wate for us the kids came running out we are going to what we know the way back you need us shit I thought to myself they are right but I go into the barn and get night I lead him out wow they said this is night he is really smart all you will have to do is hold out can you two do that yes ok I help them both up on night looked to cressida then to me I know boy I worred to you need to get out of the town and head West we can get home if we ride through the night ok I ride off into the night with night behind me we ride fast and hard it hurts to leave everyone but I need to for her sake
It was great to get out with the boys and show them the town and to get my mind off the obvious but I can shake this feeling that I should go back but for once in my life I ignore that feeling and let the night go on we act like idiots me for the most part getting messed up and having to carried home by the two of them why are you so hevey Adonis Felix said has he was helped up the stairs we opened the door and Cody says where the hell are they we dropped Adonis on the floor ow he wined I went around the room where did they go this is not good get up off the floor Adonis Cressida is gone he sat up really quick what he said where I don't know they went to the elfs Cody said there was a note let me see
Sorry I have to get cressida to the elfs as fast as possible or she could loose her mind I took daylight the pups and the kids they will help me get there don't worry about me I will be fine meet me there soon
What is she thinking we need to go after her now Adonis said no what you need to do it sleep right now is not the time to be going after her your in no shape to go we know were they are going and I know how to get there it will be ok Adonis we will go in the morning we have honey and emerald they can pull us there right now we have to wate I don't want to lose her Felix he said I know I don't ether for right now we have to trust that she gets there in time and nothing happens