Kano stared in revulsion at the skeleton before him. He could easily see the aged bones and rusted and battered bits of armour that it wore. It looked just like the game's narrator and assistant Bonesy.
"Whatcha lookin' at, meatbag?"
And it even sounded like him! Kano could not see any tendons or meaty bits holding the skeleton together at all, it looked just like one of the display types you could see at any doctor's office. "I'm, but you're, that is... But if you're, then that means, but that can't be, cuz that means. But that is imposs-"
"Shut it, slinky!" the skeleton waved his hand under his chin. Even his glowing red eyes seemed to brighten for a moment.
Kano was just confused at that moment. "Slinky?!"
Bonesy smacked his skeletal hand on its equally grim visage. "Slinky. Ya know, the little metal coil that's always more fun ta throw down stairs!"
Kano leaned away at this suddenly dark turn, but then remembered, Bonesy had a dark humor, but was always helpful. If generally grumpy about it the entire time. He had also displayed knowledge of other worlds. Bonesy had made many remarks about a crazy man that like to jump on turtles and some weirdo climbing towers just to crouch like he was a super hero.
"Bonesy."
"Yup."
"You're Bonesy."
"Yes. We jus established 'at, now try ta keep up slowpoke."
"You must know how I got," Kano looked around and just waved his arms about exageratedly. "here."
"Nope."
Kano's arms dropped to his sides in exasperation, "No, as in you don't know or no as in you won't tell me?"
"Nope as in I don't know. All I know is I've been cursed to wait here til the new Master arrives." Bonesy looked around pointedly and even brought up a hand to shade his nonexistent eyes from a nonexistent sun. "No one else. Must be you. Dang the luck. Another yokel with no clue."
Bonesy shook his skull and sighed. "Well master, what we doing, numbskull?"
Kano could hear the sarcasm at the word master, but he stopped short before making a witty come back. 'Master, eh. Well let's see how this works.'
"Bonesy, where do I go from here?"
"How should ah know? Yer s'pposed to be the master. Whacher forte anyways? Wijjy winky magic stuff, sneaky sneaky or bonk metal whack?"
Kano could not stop himself from snorting at the strange way the skeleton spoke. He had always laughed at his sardonic anecdotes in the game. He thought about his abilities and the character sheet returned to his mind eye.
***
NAME: ???
RACE: ???
CLASS: ???
***
PHYSICAL: 1 (unallocated)
MENTAL: 1(unallocated)
SPIRITUAL: 1(unallocated)
***
INVENTORY-
robe
***
He blew out an exasperated sigh of his own in frustration. "I don't have one! Its glitched! I should have traversed the full dungeon, but instead, I ended up right here!"
Bonesy looked at him without moving for quite some time. Kano began to feel a little awkward from his stare... at least, he thought the skeleton was staring. He was not completely sure.
"So, you finally arrived, Oh Nameless one." he finally spoke after what felt to be forever. "He said he would return as an unassuming youth. We thought that meant a real child, not a man-child."
Kano bristled at the not at all veiled insult. "I'm not a child."
"No, you most certainly are not. You just act like one. A spoiled, worthless human being with no skills whatsoever besides being lazy and staring at a screen. I managed to convince him that you would be the one, he thought otherwise. I schemed and connived and kept you going and what did you become?! Worthless!"
Kano was taken aback. "What do you mean, you convinced him? Him who? And for that matter, what do you mean me?!"
He dropped his arms to his sides and slightly curled them, fists balled and ready to fight. Bonesy mirrored his actions. They stood there, tensely watching the other. Finally, Bonesy relaxed and chuckled.
"There, that's the temper I know. I watched you, not just play a game, no. I watched you become each and every character you created, from the first Swordsman of Chelandria, Verilous the Pious, to your last, Artem Rancid, the Lich of Requia. I watched you live their lives within the boundless wonder of your mind. I saw them through your eyes. Just as you laughed with me at every joke I made, and groaned at each pun. Boy, you were destined to be here. I knew you were the one."
Kano could swear he saw a tear form in the dead's eye, but he was surely mistaken as the bone was dry. His mind was a flurry as he took in what Bonesy said. But he stopped short, " What happened to your accent?"
The skeleton snorted, "Wha accent? I don't ave an accent, you ave an accent, fleshie!"
Kano smiled at the change in demeanor. This was indeed Bonesy. An eternal skeleton that still had a soul. The soul of a Bard.
"Fine. I need to pick a class." As much as Kano dreamed of being a gallant knight or dashing rogue, he knew that his current physical condition was not suited for such endeavours. He was tall and gangly, just a look at his physique and one knew he rarely performed any exercise beyond getting out of bed. The only reason he was so skinny, well, to be honest, a lot of people thought he looked emaciated, was due to his terrible habit of not eating enough real food. He would skip meals often in order to grind out one more level, finish just one more quest. Truly, he had given his life to these games.
Now, he also did not want to spend all of his time in some library researching spells or communing with nature... He knew which class he had to pick.
"Necromancer!"
The easy mode class, or so people thought. He knew that there were many counters to his choice, but he also knew how to turn that around. On top of that, with so many hours invested in his Lich character, he had memorized each spell. He needed a minion to do his dirty work.
"Rah-ta, Forloch, Si-ue, Futaan! Un-day, Reise! Si-ue, Futaan! Un-day, Reise! Reise! Reise! Reise!"
He and Bonesy stared at the area for a bit, they had both felt a little magic begin to work, but nothing happened.
"Uh, hey. No bodies here."
Kano slapped himself in the face and groaned. Of course he couldn't raise the dead if there were none. But he heard another Ding!
Looking back at his Character sheet, it had changed.
***
NAME: ???
RACE: ???
CLASS: Necromancer
***
PHYSICAL: 1 (unallocated)
MENTAL: 1
Skills
Casting 1
SPIRITUAL: 1(unallocated)
Stamina 1/10
***
XP - 100
INVENTORY-
robe
***
SPELLS -
***