This afternoon, Sofony merely stopped by to the Friendlies Cafe and immediately headed home. She didn't bother waiting for Gio to send her a car and just rode the bus.
At her new home, she immediately changed her uniform into shirt and skirt, and lied down on the bed, faced planted on the soft mattress. Gio was still not home. She has the whole house for herself.
"System, time?"
"Ah, still have a lot of time."
Thinking of this, she rolled on the large soft King size bed and ended up blankly looking at the ceiling.
Few minutes passed that she was like that. Her thoughts were in so much in disarray, especially after talking to Felicity.
"I, will make an already suffering girl suffer more."
A burst of chilling laughter resounded in her brain.
"No, I feel like killing myself. She's a nice girl, save from her unmanagable nymphomania. I'm still not at her level, which I'm so grateful for. But I feel bad. So bad. Why do I have to feel like this?"
She closed her eyes and let the painful feeling gripped her heart more.
What the system told her was making her crazy. The truth could actually drive someone to madness. It was painful. Depressing. But inescapable.
She sighed.
Then a bitter laugh escaped her lips.
"Thinking about it was very stupid."
"I would do it anyway."
Sofony already knew, but knowing how hypocritical, cowardly and bitchy she could get... It made her very mad at herself. She was also mad at the system for making her realize this, no, for pushing her into this state. In front of the others, she was a gentle person. Gio was even probably assuming she was a naive but still pure-hearted girl.
It was not at all like that.
When her current happiness, security, identity and everything about her was threatened, she could really not pretend to be someone without any desire to fight back against fate. This was true selfishness. Greed. Immorality. Sofony Mendez, this new her, didn't want to be the one being wrecked, so she could only wreck others. This kind of 'her', how could it be pure-hearted?
It was a dog bites dog world. And she was a bitch that didn't want to lose to the world yet. This realization probably dawned to her the moment she bound herself with the system as last-ditch defiance against her bleak fate back then.
She pictured the girl's face in her mind and repeatedly cried out an apology in her heart.
'Felicity, let me do this, for me, and you. Take this chance to change, to get away from your father, and all the drunkards, gangsters, and everyone else that soiled you so much that you cannot believe you're still capable of deserving love.'
"System. I'm ready now, emotionally."
A reply came within three seconds.
"...Last time when I asked you if you can make a clip out of a whole recording, you managed to do it. I know you can make it so that the video will get released to the forums and various sites without being linked to me, without me personally doing the post."
"There's a feature like this, but I don't know why you want me to find out by myself. How many points will that cost?"
Sofony took a deep breath first before she decisively voiced out. "Do it."
"Do it."
The system hysterically laughed as it deducted the points and worked on the command. It was very happy at its host's decisions, thinking its host finally started embarking on the path of true depravity.
Concurrently, Sofony waited for the update. Since she knew it would take a while, she began buying attributes candies from the shop and madly started increasing her stats to distract herself.
*******
=ATTRIBUTES (Basic Human - 10)=
Strength: 10 (13) ->15
Stamina: 12 (15) -> 17
Intelligence: 13 (18) ->20
Dexterity: 10 (13) ->15
Charm: 10 (14) ->20
Luck: 10 (11) -> 15
******
'Things are already like this. Everything is due to this damnable system. But what can I do? Who asked me to stupidly bind with it?'
Shaking her head, she bit her lips and forcibly tried to suppress the unease and negativities in her mind and heart.
It was too late now. Since she was already like this, might as well just enjoy the benefits of the system while doing her best to still remain sane. Yeah, brainwash herself that this was inevitable. A decision made out of desperation, out of fear of the unknown and of falling to pieces.
Deep down though, she felt like something in her heart was breaking, and a part of her brain was asking her furiously.
How could she act sane? Why was she, the hypocrite her, acting like a poor victim?
When she had just started destroying someone?