SIGHTUNSEEN

Today, I want to share with you a story that has unfolded in my life, a story of love and longing, of heartache and hope. It's a tale that revolves around me, Vanessa, a girl who has yearned for love but often found herself empty-handed. Through these words, I hope to convey my deepest emotions and let the pages hold the weight of my experiences. From the very beginning, love seemed elusive. My father, a selfish man, never bestowed upon me the affection a child deserves. His heart remained distant, leaving me craving for his love, a love that never seemed to come. But amidst the darkness, my heart always found solace in the love I had for my two younger sisters and my youngest brother. They were my pillars of strength, and I cherished the role of being their protector and supporter. Life took an unexpected turn when our family moved to a new city. Adolescence had embraced me with all its uncertainties, and this fresh start brought a whirlwind of change. Everything was unfamiliar, and it made me feel even more isolated as if I were a lone figure navigating through a foreign land. The desire to fit in, to be noticed, to feel beautiful and attractive weighed heavily on my young heart. All eyes seemed to be fixed on my younger sister, and I couldn't help but wonder why I couldn't capture that same attention. The constant comparisons to my younger sister weighed heavily on my self-esteem, creating an unquenchable thirst for validation. It was in the midst of this chaotic chapter that I crossed paths with Kevin—a boy shrouded in mystery and rough edges. Known for his rudeness and a history of manipulating girls, he was far from the ideal choice for affection. Yet, my heart was inexplicably drawn to him, against my better judgment. Little did I know that this choice would lead me down a path filled with pain and disillusionment. As I spent more time with Kevin, the truth slowly unraveled before my eyes. His demeanor remained rude, his actions callous and hurtful. The kindness and compassion I had hoped to uncover were replaced by a dark and bitter core. Despite my attempts to change him, my love was not enough to alter the essence of who he truly was. The realization hit me like a wave crashing upon the shore—I had fallen for a bad person. The depth of my emotions did not excuse or justify his behavior. It was a harsh lesson that left my heart shattered and my spirit bruised. And so, I find myself at an impasse, grappling with conflicting emotions. The story remains incomplete, suspended in a realm of uncertainty and unanswered questions. Love, it seems, is not always transformative or redemptive. Sometimes, it is a double-edged sword that wounds as deeply as it heals. "In the depths of my being, I still crave love, for it is the essence of my existence. Despite the scars, the disappointments, and the pain, I hold onto the belief that I am deserving of love. For within me lies an untamed spirit, resilient and fierce, yearning to be embraced by the warmth and tenderness that only love can bring."