I had an interesting dream, although it was one I had dreamt many times prior. I stood alone on a huge plain, the space around me covered in the dark of night. Looking up, I saw the stars and other cosmic bodies that never would have been visible to the naked eye. The twinkling balls of fire danced around the sky, and their movements seemed to orchestrate a bombardment of huge boulders falling down to the world below, striking the earth with unimaginable force. I thought I would be crushed by one, but I was suddenly watching from the top of a mountain. The world looked raw, or rather, incomplete. I saw no life, only chaos. This was the silver lining between destruction and creation.
From past experience, the dream would soon come to a close. I looked down to see myself garbed in a bright white dress with gold laced into it, more elegant than anything I had ever seen before. The dream should have ended now, but instead of a sudden awakening, I felt strength fill every fiber of my being. My body surged with power, lightning arcing outward from me to the sky and the world around me. The light revealed that I was on an island, with other islands spread across the ocean around me. Each had a peak where a light also emanated from, the closest one I could see sending fire into the sky.
"Seek… and find… They await y..."
A voice tried to speak, but I couldn't hear. The lightning and storm around me drowned out everything, and I couldn't stop it. The fire in the distance became an inferno, creating a storm of its own. Then, every other island in my sight began to have lights upon each of their mountain peaks. They glowed brighter with every passing second. I was scared, and I managed to cry out. But it wasn't my voice… it was the cry of a bird. And in that moment, I remembered what I really was. My mouth opened to speak the name of my kind, the word that made us different from the rest of the world.
But it stopped. With a sudden jump, I sat up in my bed, cold sweat covering my entire body. My breath was heavy, and my hand held over my fast beating heart. It was dark in my room, except for a small, dimly glowing lamp in the corner. I managed to slow my breathing, but the shock still left me uneasy. It was probably the fleeting memory of the dream that was making me strain myself to hold onto it. I tried to remember, but within moments, it was gone.
"Damn it," I whispered to myself, "what's wrong with me?"
Despite it being a recurring dream, it hadn't come to me for a long while. And it lasted longer than ever before, so I was fairly shaken by its sudden reappearance. I had only told a few people about it, but all were gone now. A long sigh escaped my lips, they wouldn't have been able to help anyway.
I yawned, still exhausted from everything that happened. I shifted to another position than that I had fallen asleep in, hoping this would prevent the same dream. Taking a deep breath, my mind slipped back into the dream world, hopefully to find a more pleasant place to spend the night.
--------------------
The next morning, I was awoken by a knock at the door. I groaned, giving permission to whomever it was to enter. Della walked in, holding my satchel and the clothes I had been wearing before. I perked right up, never having noticed they were gone in the first place. They looked freshly washed, and when they were handed to me, I saw the tears and damage sewn back together.
"Thank you," I said, noticing that she was accompanied by a sprite.
The small being hovered around Della's shoulder, giving me a strange look. I felt I should have asked what was wrong, but she just stared. Instead of asking about it, I ignored her, turning my attention to Della.
"Kirania, this sprite's name is Lasolé. She works as the head of the Inn, and she wanted a chance to speak with you. Do you feel well enough to spend some time with her?" Della explained.
I watched Lasolé descend to the foot of my bed. The wings that fluttered on her back folded downwards, her posture changing to a more relaxed look. Her hair was shimmering blonde, and her eyes pierced me with a blue like the sky. I nodded, curious about what this Sprite had to say to me.
Lasolé turned to Della, "Could we speak in private, Miss Kawner?"
Her voice seemed serious, and her expression becoming a bit more grim. Della seemed confused, but nodded to the Sprite before walking out, waiting a moment at the doorway before leaving us alone. Lasolé spent a minute or so observing me before she began to speak.
"You've been away for a long while… what happened?" she asked in a respectful tone.
I blinked, "Pardon?"
She chuckled to herself, "Don't worry, the sprites here know who you are. We've been awaiting the arrival of at least one of you for so many years, and we're eager to hear which ritual bonded you."
"One of… One of me? Bonded?" I cocked my head to the side.
Lasolé was about to respond like it was a silly question, but she stopped herself. A silence fell upon the room, and I was too puzzled to break it. Without a word, she stepped closer to me, extending her hands out.
"Do you mind if I take a quick look?" she asked.
"At… at what?" her vague question made me tighten my grip on the bedding.
The look of worry on her face concerned me, "Oh… this is a bit worse than I'd imagined. Take my hands."
She kept her arms stretched out, and I hesitated for a moment before doing as she asked. When our hands came into contact, I expected a wave of energy to flow between us. Yet it didn't happen, instead the lights in the room dimmed. Lasolé closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and holding it. I blinked, finding myself in the forest. And it was a forest I knew all too well, back home in Amendum.
At first I panicked, realizing I wasn't in control of my body. Instead, it felt like I was seeing through someone else's eyes. Whoever it was, they were very short and walked a bit awkwardly. Then they tumbled over something, and I winced from the pain. I couldn't make sound myself, but I heard the voice of the one I was looking through. A girl, a child even.
"Oh my," said Lasolé's voice, sounding distant, "a clumsy little thing, weren't you."
I tried responding, but found that I had no power to communicate. Before I could ponder on what she meant, the sight of the girl turned to a little pond of clear water. If I had the ability to, I would've gasped. She reached in to clean herself off, but not before I could see the reflection. I saw green eyes that glittered like emeralds, and dark hair the hung straight down her back. I'd seen her in paintings before. It was me, as a toddler.
"I have to admit, you were cute even back then too," Lasolé laughed, "But you are not the one we're looking for right now."
I understood now, I could feel it all because we were experiencing my own memories. It was a magiqe I'd never heard of before, and having no control over it made me feel uneasy. But despite my shock, the vision continued. I felt strange, having been unable to remember any of this on my own. There was no one else around, which meant that I had wandered off to explore.
After some minutes passed, I could see smoke rising in the distance. The city was far behind me, and I had entered the wild part of the forest. In my toddler mind, I couldn't have understood the clear signs of a forest fire. But I walked toward it curiously, which I tried to stop by calling out and saying to not go.
Soon, the trees around me were obscured in smoke, ash and sparks mixed into the air. Little Kirania coughed, and I could feel the burning mist in my throat and her fear. Animals were running away, and a tree had fallen a few meters away from me. It filled my ears with a loud crash, shocking me enough to start running. Except something managed to stop me, the little cry of a bird. I turned to the tree that had fallen, panting as I stumbled after the sound. Leaves and branches that burned like embers covered the source, and my little hands forced them to part. It burned, but my toddler mind couldn't seem to allow the death of a small animal. A golden gleam shined under the last few leaves that I quickly removed, revealing small bird.
It was injured, both wings and talons bent out of place. My little arms reached down to scoop it up, gently cupping my hands to shield it from the heat and smoke. I could feel the intense heat against my skin, and the blinding smoke sting my eyes. But despite the hostile environment, I ran as fast as my legs allowed. My body was burned and scraped all around, even my hair had been singed as I was digging through the burning tree. The flight only lasted another minute before I collapsed, falling against the trunk of a yet unburned tree. I was struggling to breathe, smoke poisoning my lungs. Tears rolled down my soot-covered cheeks, stinging at the burns they flowed past.
I opened my hands to see the little bird looking up at me, fear present in its eyes and in its trembling. I could now see its twisted wings and broken legs more clearly, the very sight making me weep more. In the short minute we had known each other, it was clear that we were kindred spirits. Both close to death, both in pain.
Oh my… What's this? Lasolé's voice echoed.
The bird began to shimmer, then glow. It wasn't blinding, but rather a soft light. It rested it's head on my palm, eyes closing. The muscles in my hands tensed as the creature began to melt, it's very body seeping into my skin. My tears had paused for a moment, the fear and sadness being overtaken by surprise. Golden light came from my hands, energy visibly coursing upward through my veins. I could feel it.
Then all the sensations stopped. I could only see and hear now, awaiting what happened next. I stood, limping away from the blazing fires. The limp turned into a sprint without warning, the world around me passing by in a blur. I could see lightning crackle around me, finally something that I knew should be there. The sprint only lasted a few moments, the world coming back into focus. I had left the fire behind me, only trace amounts of smoke were present now. Then I heard myself struggle, sensation returning and disappearing sporadically. I twitched and groaned, falling to my knees as I moaned in pain. I didn't feel it, at first. When the sensation returned, I would've clenched my teeth if I could. It felt unnatural, not only was my body being torn to pieces, but I could feel something deeper being tampered with. I lost track of time, but when it stopped, I felt relieved. Almost… like myself.
Before anything else could happen, I blinked and was back in the present. Lasolé had removed her hands, staring at me in bewilderment.
"What?" I asked.
Lasolé stood still, inhaling before speaking, "Well that's… new."
The initial shock of the experience passed, my wits returning, "What the hell was that? Did you just dive into my brain?"
Lasolé shook her head, "It's a Temporal spell, I checked your memory first but… there was nothing before the moment we stopped."
"What do you mean? How can there be nothing before that moment?" I felt worried.
"That's why I changed the spell, something that didn't depend on memory." She looked more curious now, fluttering up to meet my eyes directly.
I sat still and silent, unsure of what she was looking for. The silence was broken when she began talking to herself in the native language of Fey. I didn't speak it fluently, but I listened close to hopefully catch a few words.
"By Joas… This is incredible. Finally the-" She spoke some more, going beyond my abilities to understand, "-time? That explains everything."
She turned back to me, speaking the way she had before, "I think I'm starting to understand now… but I need time to ponder on this. Please excuse me."
And just like that, she left the room. It was quiet, the lights returning to their previous brightness. I had more questions, and not a single answer. Before I could call out for Lasolé to return, Della entered the room again. She looked curious, probably wondering what Lasolé and I had spoken about.
"Are you okay, Kirania?" She inquired.
I nodded, "I'm fine, just… a little overwhelmed is all."
"By what? Did she tell you anything?" Della tilted her head to the side.
"No, she showed me a few things." It wasn't a lie, but I wasn't about to drop my whole life story on a stranger. Especially when I learned more about my own story only moments prior.
Della looked like she wanted to ask about what I had been shown, but she held her tongue. Instead, she dug into her pocket, pulling out a shimmering white stone with a golden chain attached. I immediately recognized it as my mother's necklace, just now realizing that it was gone. My hand went to my chest, and I babbled incoherently for a moment, wondering how it appeared in her possession now.
"Don't worry, when we brought you in to be healed, the pixies said you shouldn't have any sort of conductive materials attached. I held onto it for you, but I didn't realize what it was made of until today." She stopped, placing it back in my hand.
I didn't say anything, firmly gripping the necklace. I took a long, deep breath, doing my best to smile as I placed it around my neck again. I found it to be a huge relief that Della hadn't just pocketed it, even when she knew it was made of Avanite. The gemstone was barely the size of a fingernail, but would fetch for several fortunes if sold at any high-end market. But it was given to me by my mother, acting as the only reminder I had left of her. I tucked it under the nightgown, feeling relieved as my hand pressed over it.
"You're an interesting case, Kirania Fándant." Della smiled, examining me, "A little girl running away, chased by an elite looking crew of hunters, wearing an avanite necklace, and... somehow got a Haven to appear. That's an odd course of events."
I pursed my lips, nodding. Della wasn't stupid, and I felt she had figured out a lot more than she was letting on. I wondered how much Terren had explained of what happened when they met up after my rescue. Being saved was never a part of my escape plan, but thinking back, it was the only way that wouldn't have ended in me going back into His custody. I avoided eye contact for a bit, gripping my blanket nervously.
Della sighed, "I'll be downstairs if you need me."
I nodded, looking down at my hands before she spoke again, "And Kirania?"
She had my full attention for that short moment, "You can talk to us. I understand better than you realize."
The door shut, leaving me in the room alone again. I slipped back under the blanket after a few minutes of thought. My mind had been pulled back into what Lasolé had shown me, the images appearing over and over in my mind. She said that the memories weren't there, and just that statement made me feel uncomfortable. I knew that I was the child, but the bird I rescued was something I'd never seen before. Why had I been so set on saving it while so many other animals were also crying out in panic?
I was certain Lasolé would return in a while, even though she never said that explicitly. The ceiling held my gaze, my breathing steady and shallow. Temporal magic wasn't unheard of, but I wasn't sure how it would affect my recovery. I was tired after the exchange, but managed to stay awake. I'd just wait for the pixie to return, and then demand an explanation.
.....
I was dreaming again, but it was unlike any I had before. My feet were submerged up to the ankles in water. Everywhere I looked, still water made up the world around me. The only disturbance was my own movement, each step causing a ripple. The sky was patched with clouds, but the sun still shone brightly. I was still wearing the white dress provided by the fey at the inn, but there was a shimmer to the whiteness, as if the material had changed. My ears perked up when I heard a familiar voice.
"This is… fitting." Lasolé smiled, standing below me.
The water reached to her knees, but she didn't seem to mind her own clothes getting wet. Instead she crouched to cup some of the water in her hands. She was whispering, but I didn't hear what she said. But I did know what she said. It was a request, but I still felt as if she wasn't speaking to me. The surface beneath the water shifted into smooth sand, and a mound arose beneath us, pushing away the water.
"It's funny, you'll never find these just sitting out in the ocean. They form near islands and lagoons." Lasolé looked off into the distance.
I inhaled, holding it in for a moment, "Where are we? Is this supposed to be a dream?"
Lasolé nodded, "In a way. We're not necessarily in your mind either."
There was a silence as I took in the newly forming view. I never knew the world beyond my home, I'd only been shown paintings and maps. I had a feeling this was only an idea of what an ocean may be, seeing one in reality might have been more breathtaking.
"What are you, Kirania?" The fey asked.
I gave her a look, "I'm… an elf. At least my father was, my mother was a half-elf."
She laughed, "Not that. What are you really?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, I know what you are. But it seems they lied to you, I hope you don't mind but I'm shuffling through your surface memories right now."
That explained why she had been staring forward for so long, with no change in expression. I felt as if my privacy was being violated, but with everything that had happened so far, I didn't protest. She blinked, showing a face of disgust.
"Please tell me you don't believe that you're a 'Grand Storm Mage'. Those idiots clearly knew what you were, there's no such thing as a 'Grand Mage'." She made air quotations, a bit bothered by the name I'd been given.
"Well what else would I be?" I'd been trained to be a powerful sorceress, "And please just cut to the chase, Lasolé ."
I'd gotten tired of all these vague questions and references to my past. The water around us began to ripple, then became completely still again when I noticed. Lasolé sighed, looking at me with sad eyes.
"Sit down." She asked, walking in front of me.
I did as she requested, crossing my legs and waiting anxiously. Lasole took a deep breath, holding out a hand. In it, was a little stone carving. She motioned for me to take it, placing it in the sand in front of me. I examined it closely, seeing now it was made of a dark granite. But the eyes were painted gold, and the clothes had lines of the same color flowing down the small statuette. Something about it seemed so familiar, but whatever I might have known was beyond what I could recall.
"This is Rognia. I'm sure you've heard of his name." Lasolé stated.
I nodded briefly, then shook my head, "I've never heard that name, and I don't know what you mean by this though."
Lasolé smiled, chuckling a bit, "He is an old deity, charged with caring for the sky, the wind, and storms. Because of what dwells within, you have a deep connection with him."
My lips pursed, giving a skeptical look, "You mean to tell me that I have a god's spirit inside me?"
She shook her head, "No no no, you're a Vaarin. What's bonded to you isn't Rognia, but his creation."
Vaarin. I'd never heard that word before. At least, I don't think I had. But now that Lasolé spoke it, I felt a stir inside me. I had a series of questions, but the fey interrupted my thoughts.
"Rognia created a guardian, in fact, he wasn't the first to do so. Many guardians exist, each created by the gods." A smile spread across her face, turning to look at the horizon. "The stories described them as massive beasts, with a majesty only second to the Gods themselves!"
Her hands were extended outward, and I watched several humongous figures come into being in the shallow ocean around me. Some in the distant horizon, others close by us. I was awestruck, the so-called Guardians towering over me. Each was unique in their own way, everything from a beautiful sea serpent, to a dragon adorned in armor. The beasts moved through the air, ignoring us and our existence. Their forms shimmered and they became translucent for a short moment. Then they disappeared, Lasole exhaling calmly as she sat on the sand.
"Forgive me, I was never around to see them myself. Stories and legends are all we have left, but the fey remember better than most." She bowed her head, breathing slowly, "It's been so long since a Vaarin has made their presence known in the world."
I moved closer to her, listening intently, "What do you mean?"
The fey chuckled sadly, "Greed. Selfishness. A hunger for power. There were so many people who desired the power of a Guardian, but these creatures are tied to the will of the gods. I don't know what led to their disappearance… The Third Trembling was the last time any Fey met a Vaarin."
The Tremblings. They were disasters in Calehdon's history, but that was all people knew about them. Or thought they knew. I had once been curious about them, trying my best to find books and asking my tutors. But all I got out of them were theories, and even a romantic novel depicting what the author believed happened during the event. I didn't really enjoy it.
"How many of us are there supposed to be?" I asked.
Lasolé shook her head, "I don't know. I don't even know how many Guardians existed. But you've received instruction, so I suggest you make an effort with that."
I gave a blank stare, making it very clear I had no idea what she was talking about. Upon noticing my expression, Lasolé stood up and placed her hands on her hips. I could already tell she was about to rant.
"Does your brain hold anything? Do you really forget that easily?" She huffed, finally hovering in front of my face.
I shrugged nervously, not wanting to argue. I considered myself pretty smart, but we had returned to a subject I had no clue about. This dream, or whatever it actually was, already filled my head with a lot of information. My entire life had been disassembled then put back together in a new structure. I had so many more questions about the Vaarin, and what it really meant to be one. Lasolé hovered to the other side of our mound of sand, beckoning me.
She was waving her hands in the air with trails of light emanating from them, "There's only so much I know, but I'm getting a strong feeling you'll learn from others."
"Wait, why can't you tell me now?" I wanted to know more, and if stories of the Vaarin were really that sparse, I had no idea when I would find someone else to teach me what that meant.
"You've never left your home. You'll be surprised of what you can find in the world out there, now it's time we woke you up." She waved one last time, a doorway forming before us.
Before I could protest, the doorway moved toward me, swallowing me up in blinding light. And I awoke, the fey suddenly flying across the room. Apparently, she'd been meditating above my head when I was shocked awake. A fluttering of wings let me know she didn't hit the ground, but managed to catch herself.
Shaking her head, she hovered back to my bed, "Well that was fun. I apologize for adding such a huge load on your back."
Everything she had just taught me left me feeling a bit shocked now that we were back in reality. So I was bonded to an ancient beast, and was one of a few who shared the same circumstances. But I didn't understand why I wasn't told that from the beginning. Ever since I was taken in by the military and trained, I'd been titled as a 'Grand Mage'.
"So… what, do I worship Rognia now? Is he my patron god?" I asked.
Lasolé thought for a moment, then shrugged, "I'm the wrong person to ask. We don't know everything, all I can do is tell you what we were taught by our parents and their parents before."
A long, frustrated sigh escaped me, "You said… I can find answers elsewhere?"
A knock came at the door, and Della peeked in. Lasolé nodded to her, the door opening to let the women in. Della had smile on, and her clothes were different, like she was ready to get going at any moment. She wore a beige hoodie over the pale red shirt from before, and pieces of leather armor were strapped around her arms and legs. Her wavy hair was tied back, the tail flowing over her shoulder to the front.
"Is she done?" She asked the sprite.
Lasolé nodded, "She's recovered nicely, but it's important that you all leave soon. There's something on the horizon."
With that, she left the room, leaving Della and I to stare at each other in confusion. I wondered if all sprites and fairies were vague like Lasolé, since she was the only one I'd met who was raised by her own. That set off a painful memory, but I bit my lip, trying my best to forget it. Della sat at the side of my bed again, putting a hand on my shoulder. The reassurance helped me ignore my stress, and I could focus clearly on what Della wanted to say.
"Kirania, we were headed south to Romford when you showed up. Terren and I talked, and we would like to invite you to join us till then." She smiled, a little sliver of hope in her eyes, "Those Hunters won't slow their search, and we don't want to see you taken."
To be completely honest, the offer almost made me cry. But I held my composure, nodding in response to her invitation.
"Thank you… I appreciate it." The further away I could safely get from home, the better.
I didn't understand how, but Terren seemed to know the best ways to give highly trained hunters the slip. Maybe he could show me a thing or two, if the road to Romford took a while. I then realized I had no idea where that was, nor where we were.
"Where is Romford?" I asked.
Della thought for a moment, "Walking would take about three weeks. But there's likely to be some places to stop along the way."
Three weeks sounded like we would cover a fair amount of distance. Good. Della adjusted her leather straps, loosening the ones on her arms. With a relieved sigh, she stood back back.
"Sorry, these things always seem just right at first then they cut off circulation. Anyways, we leave in the morning, so you should get one last rest before we head on our way." Della stretched as she made her way to the door, "And Kirania…"
My ears perked up, listening intently, "Hm?"
"We'll keep you safe. I mean that."
And with that, she shut the door behind her. Once the silence in the room returned, I had time to think for myself. Everything Lasolé told me was a lot to take in, and Della's invitation was an act of kindness that I didn't understand. With a long frustrated groan, I fell back into my pillow. When I ran away, I wasn't planning to have some incredible quest. All I wanted was to get out of Tagnoir's grasp and avoid that… vision.
Now I had a duty to uphold or something, and no clue on what that even meant. Some all-powerful beast was sealed in me, but I had never heard a voice, never felt another presence, or even known anybody besides me inhabited my body. Seeing the past shook me quite a bit, especially since it had sparked memories that I hoped were gone too. But they weren't.
Once upon a time, those would've pushed me to sobs. Now, all it did was make me grit my teeth. I'd accepted the truth a long time ago, and some of that sadness turned to bitterness. Something Tagnoir didn't like. It made me "rude" and, in his words, "insubordinate." I lived to piss him off, one way or another. It only worked once in a blue moon, which was worth the wait. Years under his "tutelage" sucked, even when had tried to be a so-called father figure. I cringed at the thought, remembering the occasional pat on the back when I got a spell right. At least, that's what I thought it was until I got older.
"Stop. I'm gone. He can't get to me here." I whispered aloud to myself, fighting off any further memories of him.
I shut my eyes, whispering another little prayer like I had done in the woods all those days ago, "Hey… So, thanks I guess. Rognia? or whoever helped me out. I would've appreciated help a few years ago but uh…"
I paused for a few moments, "I'll accept any more help if you'd be up for that."
I ended the prayer, feeling the slightest bit foolish for talking to someone who may not even be there. Though, if I really was a Vaarin with a huge divine creation dwelling inside me, I'd expect to at least have some priority in a god's eyes. Some deep breathing finally relaxed me enough to sleep. But the thought of some huge life-changing journey did make me roll my eyes before closing them.
I turned on my side and got myself comfortable. I'd slept for Gods know how long, and now I just laid awake. It was going to be a long three weeks.