It had been years since I reflected back to my childhood. The suppressed memories I had forgotten while with Kane. I had devoted myself to my relationship with Kane and forgot over time who I had been as a child before deciding to move there permanently away from my family and there wishes. Sipping the wine in my hand I continued to gaze out at the expanse of the property in front of me when Adams voice got my attention, "Māmā," I heard almost in panic, "Outside baby," I spoke as I stood to open the back door that led to where I had been sitting for nearly two hours. "I've been calling you, and you didn't answer." he said with a panic look on his face, "Sorry my love, I've been sitting here, lost in thought," I spoke as I wrapped my arms around him and made my way back inside.
"Why are you still awake?," I asked as I walked him back to his assigned room. "I waited for you to say goodnight but you never came and I got scared," he spoke and I hugged my son against me "I am never far from you my baby, at all times okay. Now you hop back into bed and go to sleep. You have a championship to win tomorrow." I praised as he scooted back under the covers before falling off to sleep.. Staring at his sleeping form, I could see his fathers genes in him, the colour of his skin, the slope of his mouth, the eyes are the same colour and shape. He has my facial features, my smile and my mannerism. The love my son held for his daddy was as if Kane was SUPERMAN himself. My son looked forward to seeing Kane walk in the door at the end of everyday and would receive giggles and baby kisses every time he would sit down.
I can't exactly remember when he started to change towards Adam that by the time Adam was turning four he had stopped going anywhere near him. Refused to be touched, held or spoken to by Kane, that I stopped leaving him alone with Kane all together. The kindy was through my job as they provided childcare to all employees and that had worked in my favour until Kane had decided he could do a better job at raising him and quit his job. During my last end of the year company party I had attended with Adam that I was informed that Kane and a few higher ups were all fired due to misconduct of company funds.
Stepping out of the room and making my way back to my room I quietly shut and locked my door as I had a soak in the bath. The beatings started off small, whenever I questioned him or argued about his whereabouts he would slap me, scream obscenities and cry saying that he is under a lot of pressure that I wouldn't understand. I didn't understand the lashing out, the urge to beat me till I was unconscious. He didn't have a job that I was aware of, he didn't have money as he started taking everything I had made and started leaving us home with no food, no diapers and no formula. Changing Adam to water was the best thing for me as his milk was free at the kindy and I made sure he had enough snacks to last the day until we got home.
The struggle of being a single mother with a low paying job and an unemployed abusive partner was starting to mess with my conscience. I started to believe that this was going to be my life for the next forty years and I didn't know what it would take to up and leave Kane without even caring about what would happen if he caught me.
Climbing out of the bath and having a nice hot shower to rinse the soap off my body. I stood under the water as it washed over me and it felt so good to be able to have a nice and enjoyable shower before bed. The thoughts over the last couple of hours have definitely drained me for the night. Adding my night cream and serum to my nightly routine has left me a lot more relaxed to take on the next few days that we will be here. That was the last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep.
Waking up at six thirty to prep the kids for the day, and to wake them all up, feed them, change them into clean uniforms before ushering them all out the door and into the waiting vans to head to the park. Today is jammed packed with teams everywhere. The first few games we saw a lot of teams being eliminated and kids having tantrums over losing. Lots of kids were cheering other teams on, yelling encouraging words to the opposition and just great sportsmanship. A lot of the kids were playing their hearts out that I was so stunned that I didn't move from my chair as I watch other teams in between Adams games.
Adams team fought and played really well together. The girls were fast and efficient, while the boys guarded and blocked the girls that I had gone from sitting in my chair to standing and hollaring with Sebastian who had sat with me while the other four went to referee the games. By the time it was 4.30pm Adams team,were one of the last two teams of the day and they made it into the finals tomorrow.
The schools that played today were amazing and they all had great communication with each other while on the side lines. That the positive feedback that was spread throughout the tournament was felt by all the adults on the sideline. The children's positivity throughout the tournament days was just awesome to see and hear the consistent yelling of children's voices,consistent cheering, hollaring and screaming the stadium down. Since most of the accommodations that surrounded the stadium was packed with most of the participating teams that attended this year's primary school division regional championship.
The day was bustling as teams all went head to head to determine who plays the last round tomorrow. So far ten schools remain on the board for tomorrow's final matches. By the time we had made it back to the house to shower all the kids while dinner was being made. For the kids dinner we had a barbeque for dinner which consist of steak, lamb chops, chop suey, potato salad, green salad and sausages. By the time all the kids were showered, dressed in PJs they all made their way down to kitchen where they would all be seated at the table. Dishing out all the children's plates and ensuring they all had enough with a nice cold drink as well.
All the kids were talking about there day and how they enjoyed the games. They were more determined now to chase down the ball and only aiming for the ball. The team work that the kids are showing have definitely impact on their respect of one another. They are communicating more, they are always focused during the game and all have started cheering each other on. The movie they opted for tonight was the Little rascals and Homebound. While the kids were occupied I set up the next day's lunch boxes and snacks so that we would hit the road once prize giving had concluded.
Every lunch box was filled with the next day's food, all the drink bottles were all refilled as well and all the rest will be packed and placed in the van tomorrow. As I had cleaned the kitchen and made my way to my part of the house I stopped in to see Adam who was fast asleep in his bed and snoring lightly that I knew he was my best gift in life. Kissing my son's forehead I tucked his blanket around him before I exited closing the door behind me as I made my way to my room. Entering my private bathroom I had nice hot shower this time and used my honey suckle Dettol body wash and the loafer the does wonders for my skin. Enjoying the beautiful shower and realised that I could live out here if I wanted too. Climbing out of the shower and dressing in my nightwear that I was out like a light once my head hit the pillow.
Waking the next day I seen my son lying next too me watching his iPad with headphones on that I smiled at his focused expression. "Morning my son," I spoke softly as I stretched out alongside him, "Morning Maamaa," Adam replied as I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around my glorious child. He has endures in silence for a number of years and now that we are here in my homeland he has opened up a lot about what he experienced at the hands of his father and I always encourage his bravery and endurance. That I will forever protect him with my life.
Rising out of bed, I showered Adam first, got him dressed and then placed him on the chair at the table to eat his breakfast while I had a hot shower myself and got myself ready for the day. Keeping my natural hair I just ran some coconut oil through my long tresses as we prepared for the last day of the tournament.
All the children were actively talking during our commute back to the city. They came second overall and lost there last game but they were all still happy as the chattered the entire way home. Being in the van with Adam was something that I will cherish as I watched him interact with the other children.
Turning my gaze away from my son and out the window, made me kick myself for staying for as long as I do do with Kane. I will admit I remembered what made me fall for Kane when I was so homesick. I missed my family and something in him just started to fill the void as I was navigating through life with out my family around. Thinking about my past made me heal in the present, the hurt and my bruised self esteem had finally started mend watching my amazing child grow confident everyday and know he was safe.
Gazing out the window I felt my son's arms wrap around me as I snapped back to the present. "I love you my son," I whispered to my son as he stared at me with a soft smile. "I love you too màmà" he replied as he snuggled against me and fell asleep the rest of the ride home.
Arriving home, Adam was full off excitement filling in my parents of the tournament, his continuous chatter flowed throughout dinner with my brothers interjecting here and there but other wise let him tell it his way. The excitement in his actions is what had us all in fits of laughter holding our sides from his detailed description of every game.
The first away from home game was a success, that every child in the team had raving reviews and made second place in the tournament. As that was their first time playing away from home, all the kids were return d safe and sound. All fed and dropped off in an orderly fashion to ensure they were home before bedtime.
The games, the sleeping situation had brought all the kids in the team that much closer. All though they argued over there ngs it was easily dissolved by an adult. The kids had a blast and it was great to hear throughout the weekend about the continuos praise all the kids were informing their parents. They received a trophy the following day at school for their outstanding achievement of ranking second in the state.
Adam's team were buzzing for weeks after, all were still practicing together during school until winter came them playing outside seized for a couple of months. Work had become easier, Amanda became a very close friend so it was easier to act normal around her. As I neared my two year anniversary of when I returned home I felt like celebrating with my family.
So I sent out a mass text to my family chat arranging a get together at the homestead and all are invited. Also stating bring own liquor, safe way home and car keys will be removed at the door for safety reason. Returning to work I had my phone face down and had not realized the amount of response that were coming in hot.
It had been a long time since my family had fully seen me or my son. Since I had always travelled alone with my son, as one of my brothers would fly to accompany us half way and I would be able to rest while visiting my family. Now that my son is ten years old in a few weeks and I'm excited for what I have planned for his special day.
Grabbing my phone, I had come to see the chat boxes having conversations. I scrolled up to the first message and started reading, my two eldest brother and two younger brothers were debating on a date, my cousins who were in the country had pinned a date suitable for them and one my brothers were discussing which th n settled that, the last Saturday of this month so three weeks tops.
I let Amanda know, I also let my elder cousins know as well as both my father's family and my mother's family have always been family with each other due to our closenit family.
As Amanda drove to Adams school to pick him up as we spend a few hours together everyday after school to ensure I know what happening in my little man's world and who he would want to celebrate his birthday with and of course he chose his soccer team. That was easy enough as I know what they like to eat and know who doesn't like what since I spent four days cooking food for them. Serving them food without the food they disliked I realize they would all be happily fed.
Sending out an invitation to Adams soccer team, I was hit with an instant reply from several parents whose children were screaming right now. Showing Adam the responses, we both had a giggle at all the excited girls who were also keen to come. As it would be an all day event, we had set up a blow up obstacle race in the back yard that had time lapses or shot clock race it was very suitable for all the kids that attended as they had an hour's rest that consisted of singing happy birthday, eating the pizza, chicken nibbles, hot chips, chicken wings, cake, lollies and a beautiful grazing table which also made a big hot for all the ones that were tired from the obstacles course.
As the kids all enjoyed there day and even gave such beautiful and thoughtful gifts for Adam that showed how much they all care for one another. I was blown away from these young group of up and coming sports stars in the world. The contented looks about all of them made it worth it, being a parent surrounded by them reminded me of my childhood. How my life was filled with my brothers and my cousins throughout our childhood. The laughter, the tears, the full on fist fights we used to get into, brought back great past memories as I gazed at all the children around me.