Have you ever wondered what depression is like? It's like… You have no energy. You can't get out of bed. You can't even smile. And if you do it's a sad smile. It's when your eyes filled with tears in your throat gets tight. At night, you lay there and you can't do anything but think. Thoughts that come to you…let's just say they aren't good. Depression is like a black room with no door. All you have is your thoughts, no light, no people and no place to escape. You're alone and you know that no one can save you.
Depression is like drowning... but you see everyone around you still breathing. It's like your in your own, horrifying, sad, black, world. You hear everyone around you but you don't understand. They are talking, socializing, and having fun, and you see it as hell...
As I pushed the school doors open, a rush of noise hit me like a baseball hitting a bat. I was confused at first, it's never this loud, but it's always loud. I look down the hallway to see where all the commotion was coming from, and I saw a site from which would haunt me forever. My favorite teacher, and probably the only person in the school that keeps me sane, had all of her stuff packed in a box and was walking down the hallway. Behind her kids were screaming and yelling saying that she is worthless and ugly and not worth being at the school.
The teacher was crying I felt so bad for her. But there was nothing I could do for her, it's not like I can comfort her. I looked at her and gave her a sympathetic look, she gave me one in return. I decided that I've been spending too much time in the hallway, I had one minute before the bells going to ring. I ran through the hallway as fast as I could, Maybe running into one or two kids. I made it into math class as the bell rang. I took my normal seat by the window. After I got out all the stuff I would need, I pulled out my headphones and plugged them into my phone.
The song that started playing was the one song that used to make me break down... Please Don't Leave Me by: Joel Adams. This song represents perfectly what I was feeling when my mom passed away. I still remember that day perfectly...
(Flashback)
"Mommy I'm hungry!" 7 year-old me complained.
"Okay baby. Mommas going to run to the store real quick, then I will make you so Mac-and-cheese." She claimed before giving me a big hug.
"Okay momma, I love you. When you get home can we start getting my party set up?"
"Yes we will baby. I love you, I will be back in a few."
... little did I know that would be the last time I saw her alive.