The narrow hallways became darker compared awhile ago. I walked straight and just letting my senses guide me. I wonder where Faram is? I suppose, my best bet would be the cabins or the deck outside.
I concentrated that I won't walk straight to the walls but then I bumped into something...
"Oof!" I staggered but a hand grabbed my arm and I steadied myself just in time.
"Going somewhere?" The calm monotonous voice spoke.
"I was... just walking back." I answered, the darkness had my eyes wide open against the pitch black surrounding.
Faram didn't answer back, instead I felt his grasp loosen and silence went on. I can never really tell his presence no matter what training I did. I can't even hear his footsteps nor his breath.
It makes me realize how big the difference in our abilities are. And yet— here I am, even planning to talk him into something. I really doubt he'll listen... but I got to try for Emis sake.
"WAIT!!!" I hollered.
"Don't shout. I'm just here." he replied. He taps a finger once on my forehead.
"S-sorry." I murmured.
"But I have to go."
I waved my hands at both directions trying to grope around, "Wait! Where are you heading? I can't see."
Suddenly a light emitted... in a shape of a fire but it was black. It only lit a small area around us, just enough that we can see each other.
My eyes widened in both awe and disbelief at the sight of the fire before me. I thought Dark magus can't wield any Light Elements? I wonder if... if this is what that book Syreon gave me talked about, a higher tier Shadow caster; the ability to mimic the Light elements— a warlock.
Perhaps seeing my reaction to it, Faram broke the silence, "There is yet so much I need to teach you, Ri." He says serenely as the black fire blazes over the palm of his hand and I just stared at it in astonishment.
Perhaps, Faram can... mimic the four main Light Elements? He's Null caster too; not to mention he's also the one that taught me how to summon those shadow dæmons back at that Sharisukhteh district— the ability that resembles a Theurgist. That must be what Jin meant by a Shadowmancer.
Faram has so many dark elemental powers... and to think he almost mastered them all is... somehow a frightening thought of how powerful this man really is.
"Wielding the null is only the beginning. Seeing you were able to summon dæmons like I asked you to means you would be able to do this someday too. I will teach you. I will teach you everything I know, Ri... the dark element is beautiful, isn't it?"
His unwavering sharp gaze from those pair of vermillion eyes bore into mine as I stared up at him. He's in front of me, just an arm-length reach, but his aura is too intimidating. It feels like I'm just really a small child under his gaze. So close yet so far away. I wonder if the others feel the same way? They respect and follow Faram without any hesitation even if he's only a member of the group just like them, but I guess there are things about him that they just can't level with that easily. Aside from being strong, maybe it's because he has this certain air of superiority around him or from having a dæmon blood— or because he has far out lived many of our kinds. But one main fact remains true, Faram has comrades that worries and cares for him, and he looks out for them as well. That means he's still reachable, maybe they just don't know how.
"I want to talk to you about something, Faram." I digressed, blinking away as I pointed at the far end of the dark hallways. "Let's go to the cabin?"
Without words, Faram just turned the opposite direction and walked away. I followed him and he led me back to the cabin as what I asked.
The cabin has lights unlike the hallways, and the view of the setting sun is seen too.
"What do you want to talk about?" Faram asks, walking towards one of the benches.
Wow, I just realized, I didn't really think this through. I can't just blurt out, 'Go to sleep!' Because that would surely make him dismiss me in an instant. Ah, I got it! I'll keep the conversation going until I can slip that in. For now, I have to ask him with my own questions.
So, I mustered up my courage and braced myself. "Umm, now that we finally got out the Great Seven Kingdoms continent, maybe it's time we can... focus on other stuff?" I stammered.
Faram sat down and just looked at me, waiting patiently for me to elaborate.
I can feel my heartbeat drumming so loud, I can almost hear it ringing in my ears.
I walked in front of him and eyed him tentatively. His eyes are like daggers. It's too piercing. It feels like I'm being judged by just standing here.
How to begin? Where to begin?
There are... lots of things I need to understand, Faram!— is what I am thinking to myself. And a lot of those can only be answered by you. First, why did you choose me as your apprentice? Why did you erased my memories of Eriol? And what do you need me for at all? Is it just to do the watch? What if I don't want to? Will you still train me? What exactly are those shards you're all collecting for? What is Ouboros about?
So many questions flooding my thoughts but no words are coming out. Me eyes sweeps down the floor, I can't hold my gaze steady against his sharp ones. It feels like he already understands what I'm about to ask but waits patiently anyway.
"I... want to ask you so many things," I murmured, my hands mildly shaking. "And I'm aware the chances you will not answer them or simply say that I'm not ready to know yet but..."
I tucked my hand in my pocket and groped at the eye-mask Emis lent me. To be cunning enough to extract information or be intimidating, as Scias once said... can I even be either one now?
"I need to know! You got to understand that!" My voice peaks few volumes than intended but the wavering becomes apparent.
Damn! Why is this so nerve-wrecking?
"That is why..." I stated and paused, took Emis's eye-mask and wore it. "That is why—!!!"
Suddenly I feel the surge of confidence swell inside my chest, too fast and too overwhelming that my mouth suddenly blurted out on its own, "I will rape you!"
"...."
"—!?!" (≘ _ ≘) ...
I clawed at my mouth, almost slapping myself.
Deadman's Regret.
I took the mask off and hurled it violently to the floor.
"...."
"...."
"I DID NOT MEAN THAT!!!" I shouted. "N-no I...! That was... I was... It's not...!!!"
"...."
I feel the rush of blood boiling my face in deep shade of red. I'm so embarrassed!
"I'M SORRY FOR BEING BORN! GOOD NIGHT!!!" I hid my face away and bolted off towards the door.
"Wait." Faram hollered.
I turned to look over my shoulder and saw him picking up the eye-mask. "You really want to ask me something for so long but you can't say it or don't know how to ask it so you had asked Emis to help you? She offered the mask first but in return of something else? A favor perhaps."
Welp, that's about it. He's pretty perceptive.
I nodded reluctantly. "I didn't know the effects will be that detrimental..." I replied, almost talking to myself.
He sighed and just gestured at me to come back.
"Let's talk."
I nodded and walked back with my head almost hiding down between my shoulders.
Faram sat back down the bench and I stood by.
"Sit"
And so I did.
He looks at the mask on his hand as he spoke, "Don't blindly depend on Black Magic to do your bidding. You should have known that by now. Shadow and Null are a different type of Dark Element compared to Black magic. The latter can be more unpredictable, even for the caster themselves."
Can't believe I ended up being lectured in the end.
"Now just tell me what it is that you want to say?"
"Will you answer?" I asked, head bowed down.
"Don't answer my question with another question."
"But what I'm about to say are questions..."
Faram sighs in exasperation.
I clench my fists tighter.
"I learned from Scias... that I should be cunning enough to extract information I need and not just to simply expect people to give me the answer I want. And to be honest, I can't think of any other way to ask you. I'm not that intimidating either. I don't think I can deceive you in telling me as well. It's more frustrating to think I should wait as you told me to... but what do I lack, really? Why can't you just tell it all to me now?"
"The way you are now is the point... whatever it is that you want to ask, there's a chance you won't comprehend it yet if I answer." he says, crossing his arms together.
"I can comprehend better than you think." I grumbled. Again, being treated like a child... I hate this.
Faram shook his head, "You have so much potential, Ri. The way you were able to summon dæmons just from the slightest direction I gave you means the abilities are innate to you... you have the talent but you're easily affected by the most trivial things. You are easy to lose control over your emotions, using what you feel rather from thinking or analyzing things rationally."
That's not always the case! But... indeed, just like what happened in Sharisukhteh district, I thought. There are times I can compose myself but there are times I let my worries take control. I closed my eyes in shame because I know he's right. If Faram didn't interfere back there, I might have made the mistake of going with Levi and pulling him with me. That would have created more troubles for him.
"It would be pointless even if you become powerful if you're that gullible when it comes to the people you care about..."
"I will change." I replied, "I know it's harder than simply saying it but I really want to change..."
"Yet if you see your brother in trouble, what are the chances you turning your back on us and jumping in to save him?" Faram groans.
Of course I would go and choose my brother over this people! But the way Faram glares at me tells me he knows exactly what I'm thinking right now and his eyes are shouting at me I'm wrong.
"What it is that you really want to achieve, Ri?"
I didn't answer.
"If you don't want to be deceived and manipulated, you have to know what is it that you're truly hungry for. Is protecting the people you cherish all your goal in life?"
It's not as easy as admitting to Faram what my situation really is but he's right, I have something I'm trying to achieve yet I've been running in circles for worrying about others a little too much.
"I know you have a kind and caring heart but use it to become an effective person not just good. You should know when to intimidate, entrap, scare, manipulate, be apathetic, beguile, and if situation demands it— even kill. If you stay as who you are now, easily blinded with emotions, rage, and fear, you become predictable. And being predictable is weakness."
"I know..." I replied, barely audible.
"This world is a game of power. Especially the land where you're from, it's a playground for those who are cunning enough to hide secrets and strong enough to bet and play the game."
Faram stood up and walked to the windows where the sun is barely seen now, the skies has grown dark and clouds covered the view of the oceans below.
"You're raised in a sheltered environment with loving family and friends to surround you. You don't have the slightest clue of how cruel the world can be."
"Are you trying to shield me too then? Is that why you're not telling me things?"
Faram chuckled, "Fine." He faced me, shadow drawing to cover his face, "Are you sure you're ready?"
My back straightens at his sudden question. I cleared the growing knot in my throat. "Tell me what I have to know and see for yourself if I can't take it."
••▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅••
Faram steadied his gaze on me, "The Great Seven Kingdoms..." he uttered as though he's tempering at the sound of it. "Tell me, why do you think a civil war broke at the Northwestern Kingdom?"
The civil war?
"It's because of the discrimination between the common folks from the noble bloods" I answered.
"That has always been the case for countless generations... but why just now? For so many centuries, that continent has been impregnable. The seven kingdoms indeed help each other in unified forces to ward off any outsider that threatens to invade and has been a resilient fortress up until now."
Up until now... the words echoed in my mind.
"A 'safe haven' they created inside their walls where no dark element to disturb the peace... where those with power stays in power and those below stays meek and submit completely... such a perfectly controlled governance of noblemen over the commonfolks. No other land nor continent can build such a thing and it has been like that for so many centuries..."
Centuries? That means even with the centennial tradition that has been carried out, nothing extreme has happened so far? No dire chaos from the previous Fallen maidens? Hm. I wonder what exactly happens every time the tradition is upheld. I guess it's not the same as how I imagine it to be.
Wait! If there was never been any chaos then... the civil war itself is an anomaly?
"There's something that caused things to change?" I asked.
Faram nodded. "The largest nation in that land is the East. It has the most advanced civilization to date with their military powers at its peak... and yet the High King chose to let a family of merchants with no nobleblood in their veins, sit as the castellan. Why do you think so?"
The Morlock House, I thought. "They're the most loyal and trustworthy for the role?" I shrugged.
"They indeed are. They are a House of pawns, so to speak. They are loyal and faithful men that serve the High throne; their alliance is built in trust and galant exchanges for what each other needs. Give them what the want and they give back what the King needs. It equates as having the control to the entire eastern nation by just letting a powerless pawn they can use and manipulate to sit as the warden; even far better when they learned that the next heir was crippled— the first born son, Syreon. It was a flawless plan or so they thought."
I just watch Faram as he now watches the scene beyond the window.
"The brilliant and ambitious step-son was nevertheless overlooked. They never even bothered to see him as a threat. And he was slowly been trained and raised without the slightest doubt that a mistake could be made. Until you came along and sealed the boy's fate to his title."
"Levi..."
"Thanks to you, Levi of House Morlock has secured his claim as the next warden of the powerful Eastern nation and he doesn't seem to settle for a title as a warden alone, it's apparent now that he truly aims to sit as the Emperor. Thanks to you, the entire seven kingdom's peaceful treaty will be challenged because you had made that boy as the Emperor to the strongest military nation in the entire continent. And the State lords and all the warlords of the East, lusting for a battlefield, will surely follow and support him. And having him, a commoner blood who envision equal grounds for both nobles and commoners, rising to power, made the northwestern's common people move and to fight back from the oppression. They saw hope from his existence alone. And as the effect grows, he himself has no other choice but to help those who are looking up to him. The High King wouldn't be able to do anything anymore with all the votes of the entire warlords of the East to support their young Emperor. So you see, there will be war. The moment you assured his inheritance, the up coming war became irrefutable whether you go back now or not. The seven kingdom will finally be in turmoil after so many years and all truly thanks to you."
I opened my mouth to talk but I closed it back almost immediately, realizing I have nothing to say. I don't know what to say. I'm at lost and my thoughts are scattered.
"When I first heard about the young boy, with no blood relations to the Morlock, has been training in place of the crippled trueborn son, I knew countless speculations and conflicts will brew within the walls of the East. This growing restlessness and malice fed energy for the rot to grow unmistakably fast. Claude himself taught the same, so he asked Cerguz to check on his behalf while we finish our own missions then. It was when you did what you have to do, as I heard, and for that the gear of time moved once again. The boy did what no other Lords of the land would do —in order to look for you when you were taken by Cerguz, he came and confronted the High King to grant him the right to cross the seas for your search; an action never been done before, not by anyone inside that continent. And surprisingly, the High King conceded to the unthinkable idea.
I knew then that you are far too precious for both sides."
"It wasn't only me that was taken, you know that. I was taken with my brother too, Aeron!"
Faram shook his head. "Levi of the East crossed the seas because of his fondness and devotion for you. However for the case of the High King, I'm sure he agreed for a very deep and meaningful reason. It was a risk to do that, sending warships of the East to other continents. And yet, the High King gave his full support....
Tell me, in your clan as Arcanian descendants, how many branch of Household does your clan have?"
The tone sounded more like a challenge rather than a question, so I answered. "There aren't any left. It's just the branch family—my House, the Leingods and main House— my uncle's. We're the remaining ones in our entire clan."
Faram nodded. "And the High throne has been ruled by your clan for countless generations with the High King being a pureblood all the time and that must be upheld for sure for years to pass.
Now, as someone who proclaimed you comprehend things well, do you understand what you are to the throne?"
I blinked my eyes. "Someone who ascends to the throne must always be a pureblood... and become the High King of the Great seven Kingdoms..." I stated, trying to process the information. Faram just turned to study me.
For a pureblood to be born, the clan needs to keep the matrimonial bond inside the clan like how my Mama married to my Papa... who belongs to our clan. That means they are relatives... that way the pureblood flows to their offsprings. But uncle married to an Ergus descendant, that's why he didn't have any pureblooded child of his own.
"You are the only remaining female pureblood of the latest generation for the Arcanian descendants in your land, Ri. In fact, you're the only remaining girl in your entire clan. And your clan is the remaining Arcanian descendants of the entire realm... Do you understand now or should I lay it flat for you?"
"No... I understand clearly. If the High King needs to keep our bloodline sitting on the High throne... and in order to keep a pureblood existing..." I paused and my eyes scattered focus. "...he has to plan my marriage with either my cousins or my own brother..." The last word felt bitter to say for my tongue so my eyes instinctively squeezed close at the thought. "And to escape this, my father wanted me engaged to the East... and that's why my uncle and my father hasn't been exactly on good terms..."
I have noticed it but I paid no attention. It has always been Mama and uncle talking. I've never really seen my father and uncle talk like the family they are. I overlooked things for what they are because I wanted to surround my thoughts only with my own dilemma.
I've been seeing all of it but I never digested them. I never really looked at them head on before. Now, everything is making sense. No wonder why my uncle was prying too much on my affair and generally to me and my brother's private lives.
"Uncle wants to keep me because I'm the remaining key to produce an offspring for the high throne while my father wants to keep me as far away as he could from the throne. And not just me, even my twin brother too."
My chest feels tight from this somehow.
This is the 'precious family' uncle have spoken about. To keep our family —our bloodline— surviving and prevailing on the crown... they need me. We are the last of the Arcanians in the entire realm after all...
"With the uproar of your abduction, I went back to the base to see who this so called child who pushed two known figures inside that continent to break out of their own strict praxis. And when I saw you at the quarry, I found your soul smelling like a dæmon. You— reminded me of someone...." he pauses. "Anyway... I believed then that every aristocrats of that land will do their best to get their hands on you if they found out what use you hold for them. You are the doted niece of the High King, keeper of the Arcanian pure bloodline, and the weakness of the future Emperor of the Osteell, a strong military empire. And yet, incidentally, you're a dark magus. If I take you, I believe everything will be more interesting for the land because you're not in the picture. In the other words, I'm saving you from a life of misery and pain."
"...."
"It's not all for my best interest, Ri. Just stay with me and let the men play their game. Meanwhile, I will teach you to master your talents. I will even teach you to play their mind games. Decline and you may return to that land. It will seal your fate to become a pawn to their games and you will be tossed and played around, especially with that kind of mentality you have. You can also hasten the situation of the growing rot inside severely and in the end, you will have to watch everyone you love die and get hurt for protecting you. It's your choice."
My fists tightens to my side as I stared blankly at the ground, "And what am I to you, Faram?"
"You are my apprentice..." he says, walking now towards me. "I will raise you to become cunning and undaunted, powerful and unassailable."
"No. Don't give me that! What is it in for you for taking me? What do you gain from this?"
Faram reaches for my face but I slapped his hand off. He instantly move his other hand and grabbed my wrist instead, tagging that I may not move away or repulse from him.
"I have long been walking this realm, Ri. The boredom is killing me. So let's stir things a little, shall we? It's not as if I will do directly something to that continent but I sure want to meddle a little. Let's see what happens now to that land."
"I followed you without really knowing why you needed an apprentice. It's a foolish and risky move but I had no other choice. I never really thought you would be more interested in what happens to the Great Seven Kingdoms than having an apprentice."
"No, you followed me because I can do something for you. I took you in because you can do something for me. No matter what word you use to decorate your intentions, it's still about getting what you need; and I believe it's wise that you did... What's the matter, Ri? Do you feel like I tricked you?" I tried to pull away but he just tagged at my hand again, a bit more forceful this time that I almost bump into him. "If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know what is it that you're truly yearning for. And it's the same for others. If you want to appeal to other people, you have to find out what they're hungry for. Give it to them and they will give a piece of themselves to you. It's the hard truth."
"Let me go!" I demanded, pulling away with all my strength but he doesn't even budge.
"You must be willing to act with the darkest ingenuity and cunning to further your cause. This is the way to survive, Ri. Don't be a fool. You knew following me is actually more of a necessity than a whim. You believe I can teach you and help you..."
"You're right, I did follow you because I believe you can help me control my powers and I also followed you because you agreed to help me look for Nora's parents. Now if you can just let me go so I can stand up properly?" I hissed at him.
In an instant, his clench loosen and I pulled my hand free from him.
"Thank you." I murmured, stepping away. "If by chance I feel like going back now, it would still be impossible for me anyway. Technically speaking, we are on an airship. It's not as if I could just jump to the skies, hit the ocean, and swim back to the Seven Kingdoms."
Faram walks pass me and sat back down to the bench. I wonder what he's thinking now?
He knew if he told the truth I would hesitate more, but he told me anyway. Perhaps another curious venture for him on how would I digest these things.
Faram really is unpredictable. It never changed the fact that he's using me just to get his whims of watching the seven kingdom collapse, but in the first place— conflict is bound to happen inside the continent whatever I do now. With whatever chance I am given to travel out here, I should at least grab the opportunity and continue with my own quest. If I'm ready, then I will I return to the Seven Kingdoms continent.
It's a win win situation for both me and Faram. Quid quo pro.
"There's a lot to process from that... but I want to stick to my own decision. I really want you to teach me regardless." I told him. I eyed Faram as he just looked at me coolly. "I won't run away from you."
Faram snickered and spoke, "Come, sit." He says, jerking his head to the bench space beside him.
And so I did.
A calm yet triumphant smile briefly flashes in his face.
Huh?
I wonder if he predicted this too?
—On the spur or the moment, he suddenly told me the truth... knowing I might doubt him, and yet he went on with it anyway. He carefully chosen his words and made an appealing argument of how I'd benefit in spite of everything. So to lead this end, where I decided to still follow him, like winning me over, is quite confounding. He's too cunning and calculating. It feels now like... I've been manipulated.
I hate to admit it but its pretty impressive.
I would want to learn that from him.
I look at Faram as he just sat there like a mannequin in his usual galant and remarkable posture, perhaps trying to guess what I'm thinking or maybe he already know what I'm gonna ask next, might as well let it out.
"There's still one thing I don't understand." I uttered as he turned his head to look at me impassively, "Why did you erase my memory of Eriol?"
His eyes softens, as though he predicted right.
"Answer me just this time and I won't ever bother you and ask you again about him. I won't even ask you to give my memory back of him." I said in a matter-of-factly tone.
Yes, I won't ask. Someday, I will get it back myself.
"Stray— the little lost boy who Claude bought from his unloving stepmother," Faram begun. "...is the only Transmuter that I have ever met that can answer the call of his Meister despite distances. No matter where you are, how far you are from him, he can respond impeccably well. So if I leave your bond with him as that, he would be able to track you down without due effort. It's pointless that I even took you away if he would always tag around and interfere."
Faram pulled his lips in a corner, showing a contemptuous smile, "But that's not the only reason," he says, "—it's for the exact same reason why Claude took him in as his apprentice..."
"And what reason is that?" I murmured, brows furrowed.
"His soul also reeks like yours— it smells like a dæmon."
"What does that mean?"
Faram just shrugged with a wry smile.
And with that, the conversation ended with Faram simply turning away and shutting his eyes close.
••▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅••