My gaze was back to Senior Rizal who still looked sad. "S-senior, what had happened exactly? How did he die?" I asked carefully.
"Two years ago, Senior Tom followed a foreign program. It was like a meeting between young architects that was held in England. Where it was, I forgot. It was a great event and would be broadcasted throughout Indonesia and some other countries. But, then we heard the news that the ship they were on was invaded by some people that were identified as terrorist. Those people blew up the ship in the end. In the victim list, his name was in it. From 265 young architects who followed the event, 190 people were seriously injured, 70 people died, and 5 people were missing. Three of five missing people had been found a year ago, but they were all dead. The other two are still missing and no one knows where they are." Senior Rizal explained slowly.
I stayed silent. It was tragic, really tragic. I turned my face to look at Tom who also listened to Senior Rizal's explanation. I could see him still denying the story.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I am with Senior Tom right now. He is the one who asked me to give you his regards. If you have something to say, you can say it. Senior Tom will listen to you." I told him softly and slowly. To be honest, the thought that he might get scared of me –of us –because I could see Tom or his thought that I was freak didn't appear in my mind at all.
"He is ... here?" Senior Rizal sounded nervous. He startled, of course, but he nodded to my words.
"Senior …" Senior Rizal called slowly. "Please, forgive me. It's about your girlfriend, Nita. I couldn't keep her as I promised you. When you've gone, I couldn't hold her not to go with Rama. They have got married and she is carrying his baby now. I'm sorry." Senior Rizal said slowly. He bowed in shame.
I saw as Tom's face contorted in agony. I was sad, of course. How come his life would be this tragic? Even after he was dead, his misery seemed to follow him.
"It's okay. As long as she is happy." Tom said in bitter voice.
"Senior Tom said that it was okay, as long as the girl was happy." I repeated the words to Senior Rizal.
Senior Rizal didn't say anything. There was a moment of silence between us.
"Emm, Senior, please excuse me now…" Breaking up the silence, I turned around and nodded to Tom, to ask him to go home.
As we walked side to side to go back to my dorm, I decided that I couldn't handle his sad face. I couldn't stand it! I took out my phone and my headset. I put my headset in my ears and acted as if I was accepting a call.
"Hey, Senior, cheer up!" I talked casually, as if I was talking to someone in the phone. "Senior Tom…" I called him again, adding the Senior to mock him a little.
Tom turned to see me as I winked at him. "Smile, please…" I said to him as I smiled.
Tom smiled a bit. His lips formed a thin line, really not like his usual smile. Somehow, I was annoyed by this. "Hello? Senior Tom? Why don't you talk? You are usually so talkative."
"What should I talk about?" Tom asked in low voice, as if he had lost his energy and power.
"Anything. Just don't be quiet. It's not like you, you know?"
"Emm…. What should I tell you?" He tilted his head as he is thinking. "Why don't we talk about you?" He said then.
"Eh? Me?" I repeated, surprised by his proposal. "Okay." I replied. For now, I just had to agree with him. It was better than to drown in silence.
"Do you have any cousin or siblings here?"
"Cousin, yes. But not in Engineering."
Tom: "A boy or a girl? What department?"
Me: "A girl. She takes Law Department. She was major in fashion when she was in high school, but now she wants to be a lawyer, so she took Law as her major. It's funny, isn't it?"
I laughed a little. Tom laughed, too. He laughed so hard and freely, with the hint of sadness laced in his laugh. The scene of him laughing despite filled with sadness still looked great and I couldn't help but felt mesmerized. And that time, a thought crossed my mind.
I wish he was not a ghost.