Journal #2
I didn't know what happen or what I felt when that moment occurred my emotions were mixed up, like there was a ticking bomb inside of my brain do I talk to her or should I not. I know one thing for sure I gotta go back soon since recess is almost starting.
Moments after the Washroom Break..
HHHHMMMMMMMM!!?!?? What should I do until recess is over, there is so many things that could happen she might even talk to me, but hopefully not cause I might collapse; "OH", I know maybe I could take a walk, perhaps it would calm my feelings breath the fresh air oh never mind bad idea smells like poop ewwwwww. Why is that snow yellow and all smelly wait is that pee, who pees on a park OK maybe not humans more of pets oh well maybe I should stick closer so I don't go near those dumps.
MOMENTS AFTER RUNNING INTO DUMP.....
Phew that was close i almost stepped on another one, Then My friend suddenly came and requested for me to come with him since somebody wants to talk to me. I asked who wants to chat with me, he said that she wants to talk to me. OK maybe its time to say her name, fine her name is Marrilyn, Lyn for short. Anyways she wanted to have a chat with me I panicked and immediately asked why he said that she will tell me I just have to go talk to her but he still said it anyway. He said that I should stop trying to talk to her but that's impossible since she won't even talk to me at the first place, I'm assuming she wants me to avoid her so I didn't respond I told him that I won't go because I won't give up. I WONT GIVE UP ON HER!!! I quickly ran to my friends and pretended that nothing happened until then I felt guilty all thou I didn't even know what I did. I'm gonna stop talking about the sad moments anyways Halloween just passed and its almost Christmas 28 more days before Christmas and I'm hoping we do a S ecret Santa cause it is really exciting and I'm hoping that I get her, but I don't really want anything from her all I want from her is her friendship so we can be close. But that won't happen cause I'm a little bit stubborn and well its not a good thing. OK enough talking to myself I should try to talk to her because I wanna know why she wants to avoid me and pretend that I'm not here. Well I tried and as expected no response just like those times where I tried to talk to her (** FLASHBACK**)
Hi lyn.... no response, oh hi how are you.... oh why like why is it so hard to talk to her I want to give her this book soon maybe it will change everything by being good or bad. School is almost over and I still haven't made my move I wonder what's going on with her or st least me this is absurd I should be a normal person and not react when ever something happen with us. I really don't know if we are a thing but I know that's just a dream, I remember what my friends said she is just one of the girls in the whole world there are millions of girls to like so I should move on. Some boys love to play with girls's feelings and mess around say that they like her but ays around with her, but I personally don't do that I think ladies are meant to be treated fairly, when I grow up I don't want to play with their feelings since I'm not precisely a Playboy I'm not like that I RESPECT them and everybody should.
School Ended, so many homework to do and I'm so tired. Why does school have to be so hard like things are confusing and my brain is tired of all the work that I did. I'm tired of drawing, writing, doing my math homework, and more. I just can't wait to see her again.....❤️😭