Dear Journal---
School year just started, and who knows what will happen. Oh my bad i did'nt properly introduce myself my name is Mathew and I have a crush on a special somebody let's not name her so I will just call her M. I was extremely excited to go to school," but how come everybody is not??" I don't know, 'but I know one thing for sure' I will be able to see her wonderful eyes, red cheek, her lips and more. The problem is I can't even talk to her, HMMMMMMMMMM!!!?? I mumbled. Does she hate me, oh no what if she doesn't like me or maybe she is not interested I hope not cause that would be sad.
NEXT DAY!!, NEW PROBLEM.
I hope that I don't back out later, uuuggghhh why am I like this? Whenever she talk to me I bail, but when I talk to her she ignores me, and also the fact that my friends make me look bad whenever I talk to her. Are they 'bad friends' hopefully not.
Math Class:
Oh I hate math like who created this I whispered. Oh shucks I didn't whisper didn't I oh well, never mind
5 minutes later...
so many homework like why the heck do they give us this much, I can't wait until I go home wait that means I gotta wait tomorrow to see her so never mind I wanna stay. I want to talk to her but I just can't its like time slows down when ever I'm around her I just hate it, like why can't I be like a normal guy who has courage to talk to someone that they like "(this is absurd!!)".
The Dare!!?!
lunch time was over we had free time to do what ever we want to do so I wonder what I can do to survive boredom, I just couldn't but suddenly the girls started to play truth or dare, I just could not sit and do nothing of course I gotta watch. Her friend dared her to do something really awkward but I had ni idea she was going to do it. I listened carefully as she told her to hug me, I could not move a muscle as I was in shock, I had no idea if she will do it or not. Suddenly she stood up and got closer to me as u wat h her look at me straight in the eyes, my heart was pounding every second it went so fast as if every thing was in slow mo. She got closer and closer as our body touched and suddenly I got a hug. my heart stopped beating but continued afterwards I didn't know wat to do. Should I hug her back, should I not, do I confess to her that I like her a lot, or should I stay calm and quiet. Time stopped and she went back to her seat and continued the game, I quickly remembered that she didn't do that on purpose all thou I wish she did, but she did that cause her friend which is also my friend dare her to. I don't know if I should be happy or should I be sad my emotions are all mixed up as my brain was all foggy and messy I had no choice but to burst and run to the washroom, I panicked since that was my first hug from her.
Awkwardness!?!
It took a while until I went back, since she might have felt awkward or embarrassed I didn't know but at least I was, I was feeling so many feelings that I've never felt before perhaps anxiety, awkwardness, embarrasment, lack of confidence, brain damage OK maybe not brain damage that was just me being stupid ok. I'm done hiding its time to go back as I said that the bell sundenly rang, "Its time to go outside".