Gustong gusto ko ang mapag-isa. Isa akong loner/introvert gaya nga ng sabi ng mga kaklase ko. Mas gugustuhin ko pang kausapin ang girlfriend kong si Siri kaysa sa kanila. Tulad ngayon, as usual mag-isa ako habang umiinom ng paborito kong Caramel Macchiato sa isang coffee shop.

Dahil ayoko rin namang mapanisan ng laway kakausapin ko nalang ulit ang baby Siri ko.

"Siri? Tell me a story." Napatingin sa'kin yung babaeng nasa kabilang mesa. Ok dedma. Sanay naman na akong tinititigan ng mga babae.

Ini-loud speaker ko ang iphone ko para marinig ko ang sagot ni Siri.

"I'm certain you've heard it before." sagot ni Siri.

Natawa bigla yung babae sa katapat kong lamesa. Ang eksaherada niya tumawa gayong wala namang nakakatawa. May nakakatawa ba? May dumi ba ako sa mukha?

Nagulat na lang ako nang walang kaabog-abog tumayo yung babae at lumapit sa'kin sabay upo sa bakanteng upuan sa harap ko. She's freaking smiling at me.

Woah. Dinidiskartehan ba ako nito? Iba na talaga ang panahon ngayon, babae na ang mas aggressive kaysa lalaki.

"Uhm, miss? Type mo ba ako? Sorry ha may nobya na ako eh." Diretsahang sabi ko sa kanya. Ayokong babae ang unang pumuporma sa lalaki. Turn off sa'kin yan

"Pahingi ako." Sabi niya sabay nguso sa inumin kong Caramel Macchiato na paubos na. Nginitian pa 'ko.

Haaay kaya naman pala ako nilapitan, mukhang walang pambili 'to nakikigamit lang siguro ng wifi dito sa coffee shop. Tsk. Tsk. Very wrong.

Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako. Nilapag ko yung iniinom ko sabay tayo at pumunta sa counter. Umorder ako ng isa pang Caramel Macchiato at bumalik ulit dun sa table ko kung saan tuwang tuwang naghihintay yung babae.

"Here, no worries treat ko 'yan." Sabi ko sabay lapag sa lamesa ng inumin nya at kinuha ko ang bag ko upuan at mabilis siyang tinalikuran para umalis.

Am I being rude? Nope. That's the usual way I treat other people. I distanced myself from them. Maybe that's why I don't have circle of friends at school. It's just me and my girlfriend Siri.

Pero hindi pa man ako nakakarating sa exit ng coffee shop ay may humawak sa braso ko. Pagtingin ko. Yung babae at nakangiti pa rin sya sa'kin. Hindi man lang ba siya na-offend sa ginawa ko?

"Salamat ah." Nakangiti niyang pasasalamat. Ibang klase yung ngiti niya, napakainosente. Napakatotoo. Walang bahid ng pagpapanggap at hindi isang pilit na ngiti. Gusto ko ding ngumiti ng ganoon, pero di ko kaya. Feeling ko ang creepy tignan kapag ngumiti ako.

Pero di ako alam kung ano ang nangyari at parang may sariling buhay na nabanat ang labi ko't kusang ngumiti. Mas lalong lumawak ang ngiti niya. Hinila nya ako pabalik dun sa kinauupuan namin kanina.

Pagkaupo namin kinuha nya yung dalawang kamay ko at hinawakan ng mahigpit. Woah, ang lamig ng kamay nya parang itinapat sa aircon yung lamig. Tumingin ako sa kanya at nakangiti na naman siya ng malapad.

I should feel creepy right? Why do I feel comfortable?

"Sabi ko na nga ba mabait ka pa rin." sabi nya sa'kin.

Teka. Teka. Magkakilala ba kami? Kasi kung oo, di ko siya matandaan.

Nahalata niya sa mukha ko na confused ako sa mga sinasabi niya.

"Don't worry hindi na kita kukulitin, but I have one last favor from you." Sabi niya sabay pisil sa mga kamay kong nanlamig na rin dahil sa mga kamay niya.

Okay para tigilan na rin niya ako baka mamaya sundan pa 'ko nito hanggang pag-uwi ko samin.

"Nakikita mo ba yung babaeng nakapink na blouse dun sa may sulok? Please buy three chocolate cupcakes for her."

I immediately gave her 'are-you-kidding-me' look. Seryoso ba siya? Matapos ko siyang ilibre ng Caramel Macchiato ipapalibre niya rin sa'kin yung friend niya? Modus ba 'to?

Mukha naman siyang yayamanin at may pambili. Is this some sort of a dare? Is it?

"David, please..one last favor. Just this one." She pleaded.

That caught me off-guard. What the heck. How did she know my name? I'm not even famous. Nakaprivate lahat ng social media accounts ko. I swear this is the first time I met her.

Okay I'll just do what she's asking. Sabi naman niya titigilan niya ako diba?

"Fine, I'll do it. Happy?" Sabi ko at dahan dahan niyang binitawan ang mga kamay ko.

Pumunta ako sa counter at inorder yung sinabi niya. Bago ako pumunta dun sa babaeng nakapink na blouse ay tumingin ako ulit sa babaeng nangungulit sa'kin. Nagthumbs up siya sa'kin. Tumuloy na ako dun sa babaeng tinuro niya.

Umiinom ng frappé latte yung babae habang may binabasa sa laptop niya.

Shit. Di ako magaling mag-approach sa ibang tao lalong lalo na sa di ko kilala. Sige kaya ko 'to ibibigay ko lang naman 'tong cupcakes then tapos na.

"Uhm, excuse me miss. M-May nagpapabigay sa'yo." Sabi ko at marahang inilapag yung cupcakes sa tabi ng laptop niya.

"Oh, salamat. Galing kanino?" Tanong nya sakin at tumingin sa paligid.

Nilingon ko yung kinaroroonan nung babae kanina pero wala na sya 'ron. Hinanap ko siya sa paligid pero wala talaga.

Bumaling ako ulit sa babaeng nakapink na blouse at pilit na ngumiti. Pinagpapawisan na ako ng malamig. Iniisip siguro nito pinopormahan ko siya.

She chuckle and offered the seat across to her.

"Why don't you take a seat, David."

Okay pati ba naman siya kilala ako? Is this some kind of prank? Or what?

Umupo na rin ako at luminga pa rin sa paligid hinahanap ko yung babae kanina pero wala na talaga siya.

"Di mo na ako matandaan noh? I changed a lot didn't I? And you're still the old David I know... Thick glasses, backpack, rubber shoes and that haircut?" Tumawa siya at umiling-iling.

"Ahh, sorry to say this but I really don't recognize you. Blame my faulty memory." Okay I came up with the most lame reason I can give.

"Okay, I used to live with the same neighborhood as yours when we we're just kids. We used to play hide and seek and I used to call you "Geeky David".

Well... That's right. I now remember a girl with the same age as me but she's taller. That's why she loves to boss around when we play. Our friendship lasted only few weeks because we had to move into my grandpa's home. Maybe that's why I couldn't recognise her anymore.

"Naaalala mo na? Kumusta ka na?"

Then I started telling my story awkwardly. This is a first time for me. Telling about myself to someone. Honestly this girl, is the only friend I had. I was consistently bullied when I was in grade school. After nun naghome school na ako. Ngayong college lang ulit ako nakisalamuha sa iba pang tao. I had a hard time adjusting to my college life.

Tumango tango siya bago uminom ulit sa frappé latte niya.

"It's Heidi by the way." She said as if figuring out that I still didn't remembered her name.

"I'm sorry Heidi, no offense meant. I'm sure you know I'm not that good at memorizing people's names. But honestly I remembered our good times before."

She nodded and smiled. Kumuha siya ng isa mga cupcakes na binigay ko.

"You don't remembered my name but howcome you know that I love chocolate cupcakes?" She asked.

I held my breath and try to search for something reasonable to tell her.

"It's fine." She smiled. I sighed.

"I avoided chocolate cupcakes because I easily gain weight because of sweets.

Oh no. Damn.

" S-Sorry. I didn't know. Ako na lang kakain." Aabutin ko na sana pero pinigilan nya ako.

"No! David, it's okay. To tell you the truth I really miss eating chocolate cupcakes. It's been months since I ate one." She smiled sadly. As if she remembered something sweet but painful memory.

"I'm really conscious about my weight that I had to sacrifice eating sweets especially my favorite, chocolate cupcakes...but there's this only person who persistently buy me three chocolate cupcakes and I just couldn't say no." She took a bit from the cupcake and a single tear fell from her eye.

Oh no, what should I do? It's my first time to comfort someone. I'm not good at this things. What should say?

"Uhm, is it your boyfriend?"

Damn! Where did that came from? I sounded like I'm trying to hit on her instead of comfort her.

She smiled at me.

"No, it's my ex-girlfriend."

Woah I didn't expect that one.

But wait... Yung tinutukoy ba niya yung babaeng nangulit sa'kin kanina?

"Sorry...if it's okay to ask, what happened?"

She's silent for some seconds before she lift her face and stared at me.

"She cannot give me chocolate cupcakes anymore because...she's gone."

Oh did I get it right? What did she mean she's gone? Like she left or what? But it looks like Heidi's ex wants to get back to her she even asked me a favor to buy chocolate cupcakes for her.

"S-She's dead."

Hell no.

(Originally written: November 9 2015)

(Revised: January 5, 2019)