Joe was tasting cinnamon and cloves it was like a Christmas ham in his mouth.He wanted to have another taste of that sweet nectar of the gods.He was crying tears of joy.
"Why'd you waste the OC spray on Grubworm?" Jimbo asked. "I was gonna spray that on my French fries for breakfast."
"Yeah Three you just emptied a whole bottle of bear mace on his face from like 6 inches away." The Scholar was looking at the chick on an expired Herly calender on the shop wall.
"We don't know what's going to work or what isn't that's why we have to practice on specimens."Jimbo said quoting the foremost medical expert in the world Gertrude the Sadistic. "I'll go get the spade bits."
"Jimbo that's a terrible idea wouldn't there be tiny little burrs of bone make it's way back into his skull?" Three asked
"Almost assuredly,he would catch an infection a fever then eventually die.There is still a 40% chance he will live and only be mildly retarded."
"Just hear me out Tinker. What if we can shrink his brain allowing the swelling to go down? It would release the pressure without having to put big holes in his head."
"Hahaha Tinker just wants an excuse to use his hand drill. Not so fun when others are telling you not to cut on the siren" The Scholar poked at Jimbo.
Jimbo ignored the Scholar. "What's the plan Three?"
"We have to bleed as much blood as we can out of him that should work I think."
"How do you figure that?"
"I have made enough jerky to know that as fluid leaves the meat it shrinks."
"We can only take so much from him before he dies. I've killed enough men to know that it's not going to take much Three."
"Get the drill bits I guess."
"If we knew what blood type he was we could try a transfusion." The Scholar figured he would throw his 2 cents in." I never got to check him for an organ donor's card."
"I'm O negative the universal donor." Three spoke up.
"Have you had your shots young lady?" Jimbo asked.
"What shots Tinker?"
"The rotgut shots you are going drink while I find something for needles and to run the blood through trust me anything I find around here you are going to have to be shit faced before you let me poke it into you."
"I merely stated that I am an universal donor I didn't agree to be his donor."
"Guess I need to come up with a transfusion fluid and a delivery system. I have some old brake lines and the jets out of a ThermmerQuad carburetor they should allow for a suitable flow rate. I get these vicegrips and an appropriate crimping widget to clamp down on the copper tubing so we won't lose any replacement fluid. That just leaves the vessel and of course the fluid itself.... this oil can should suffice." He paused to combine the contents of two cans. "I'll drill a hole in it and RTV around the tube. If we logic out our goal it's our Mission to Transfer out Fluid and put Fluid back in so the base of our replacement therapy should be transmission fluid." The Tinker set about his work at once.
"I think I should go get the Elder." The Scholar told Young Three. "I'll be back soon keep an eye on Joe and the Tinker. Don't let him stick anything into Joe before we can get a second opinion."
Joe was happy that the aliens had stopped their torture. Whatever made me taste cloves I wish they would have used more of it.I will need happy memories to cleave to his thoughts were becoming muddled. I need to focus what can I do about my current situation... If I can dislocate my wrist I might be able to wiggle free. Nope that's not going to happen this BioRope is way too constricting.
"Nurse! Nurse!... Where did White Tides go?"
The Tinker yelled as he came back from behind a sheet metal wall.
"To get the Elder. We need a voice of reason before any experimental medicine occurs."
"My treatments are unorthodox but my reasoning is sound I regret nothing." The Tinker threw up his hands in disgust. He fished out a porno mag from a red bucket marked oil rags then sat in a bucket seat that he salvaged from a light duty truck some years ago.
Some time had passed before both the Elder and the Scholar had returned.They entered the Junk Hall together. "The Scholar has brought me up to speed on all that has transpired. Tinker what are your odds of sucess for this operation?"
"To be honest Elder I like the idea of letting out evil spirits more it's a tried and true method of medicine."
"You said it yourself that there is a 60% chance of death. I don't like those odds at all Tinker." The Elder came closer to examine Joe. He wanted to see for himself if there was any qi deviation in the boy's eyes.
This must be the Emporer of the entire Neptronian race. I can die with dignity if I can hock a lugie in his eye thought Joe as he began to get a hanger to come up deep from the back of his throat. With any luck I might give him a disease that will spread through Neptron.
(After he launched his biological missile)
"This fool has qi deviation for sure I approve of both plans he needs holes in his skull and to be exsanguinated immediatly!" The Elder said in disgust. " I want to assist in the operation I nominate myself to drill the holes."
* 1 hour later.
"I just don't understand it how damn thick is his skull? We have burnt up two drill motors and four bits trying to get to his brain." The Tinker was pretty pissed those were Midkita drills they weren't cheap. Not that I bought them but still the principle irks me thought the Tinker.
"I could have told you he was thickheaded Tinker. Just for the record I never supported this first plan anyway." Three was happily munching on an apple.
"Where'd you get the apple from Three?" Jimbo asked with an accusatory tone.
"I went on a fishing trip in this little blue ice chest I found up against a wall."
"Did you find anything else in that chest Three? My blood sugar is getting low I'm afraid I might get cranky nobody likes me when I'm hangry." Three surrendered the apple post haste to the Elder. The Elder smiled."That's why you are my favorite granddaughter Three."