Visions of her yellow toenails and hairy hobbit feet stayed in Joe's mind all night. Young Three snored like a chainsaw and spent the first few minutes into sleep smelling his hair. Her big meathook hands wandered all over his trunk and eventually seemed to come to rest in the crease just below his chubby gut. At one point she had nibbled on his earlobe and even put her tongue in his earhole.
The wool army surplus blanket that was covering the both of them did very little to stifle the night's chill and the mattress compressed down into nothing with their combined weight. Joe had finally either got comfortable enough or just faded from plain exhaustion to sleep.
His nap was short lived because he felt Young Three let go of him and roll over.
"It's time to get up stick man. We have alot to do today." she spoke gently as if to a child.
"What day? I can't even see a pube hair of daylight peeking through the flap." Joe sulked without opening his eyes. "What time is it?"
"Lemme check my biological clock." Young Three muttered.
"Biological clock is that some kind of earthly treasure?" Joe asked genuinely intrigued.
"No jackass that was a joke. You know all women having a biological clock that they are racing against...never mind it's 3 AM give or take 15 minutes."
"How do you know?" Joe responded snarkily while he was bunching up the blanket for some extra warmth. Fully intent on trying to go back to sleep.
"I would advise you to get up.You have a fitness baseline to run today and after that I'm dropping you off in a bamboo thicket that needs to get cleared out." She spoke this time with some flint in her voice.
"Fuck you Gym Donkey. What are you gonna do punch me? If you do that I get to take a nap. I win." Joe was chuckling.
"That Gym Donkey shit is getting old. Don't forget you asked for what happens next."
She flipped the mattress over dumping Joe into the blanket and grabbing the four corners making a sack trapping Joe inside. She tied the four corners to prevent him from escaping. Joe struggled and squirmed but to no avail.
"Flail like a fish all you want but nobody gets out of any blanket burrito I make. Im getting dressed. You sir are going for a swim."
She grabbed her clothes from the chair and got dressed scooping Joe off the floor on her way out the door.
"No please don't throw me in the pond I'm liable to die of shock that water is going to be so cold beautiful princess. I promise to call you anything you want just don't drown me."
"Don't try to sweet talk me now. I decided to skip the baseline today I'm going to make you drown proof."
She grabbed the sack after she put on her shoes tossing it over her shoulder like St. Nick she trod down the gentle slope to the pond.At the water's edge she undid her knot letting the blanket fall free on the dirt. Grabbing Joe by the neck she frog marched him down a pier made from packed down cobblestone.
Joe's teeth were chattering his skin a mess of goose pimples and his nose was starting to run. His feet were prickly from the cold rock underneath them.
"Nnn owww wwwhut sh sh be eest??" Joe was hopping up and down trying to get some circulation going to warm up a little
"Today you get your nom de guerre. I christen you Grubworm until you earn another name.From now on you will address me as First Sergeant until I give you leave to do otherwise do you understand me Grubworm?"
"Yes First Sergeant. Can we reconsider this? I don't think I am properly prepared for a swim this fine morning." Joe had finally warmed up enough not to stutter as he spoke.
Young Three reached out with her right hand
and tenderly stroked his face. The stroke turned into a few gentle slaps.
"First of all Grubworm you are no longer allowed to use terms like I or me. The only way you will speak when referring to yourself. is by saying this recruit. This is the first and last time I will say this. Who said anything about swimming? The recruit will lie belly down on the pier and lower his face into the water. He will keep his face in the water until he stops breathing. The First Sergeant will then revive the recruit until the recruit has satisfied the requirements for this evolution of training or it is 7 AM whichever comes first."
"No way you psycho bitch that ain't happening." Joe was hating the thought of drowning. He turned to walk away but remembered there was no where to go.So he stood in place arms crossed.
"The recruit must be is too dumb to follow simple instructions. The First Sergeant shall assist you in this training evolution."
Young Three performed a leg sweep knocking over Grubworm. That completed the first part of the exercise. She rolled the recruit onto his belly. That was step two. Then she proceeded to drown him. He screamed and cursed he beat on her hands but it was as if a mountain was holding him under. 1 minute passed and the struggles grew weaker, 1 minute 30 seconds and they ceased completely. After 4 minutes his head was pulled back up and he was rolled over onto his back.
"Now for First Sergeant's favorite part."Young Three grinned before she put her mouth on his and blew air into his lungs. She started the chest compressions.
* Joe's astral projection wunderland
Joe was on a tropical beach in a wood deck chair. The sand was white,the sun was warm, there were svelte blonde haired ladies in skimpy bikinis. He had a cold daiquiri sitting in the cup holder in his chair. A waiter arrived with his double bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries. He was just about to bite into his meal when a musclebound demon snatched it from his hands. The Demon spoke.
"Grubworm you can't die on me yet. I won't let you."
He smelled smoke and fresh barbecue. He felt something warm running down his leg.
The world started to pixelate. The pixels turned into beams of light. He felt himself falling. He fell for an eternity. He arrived safely back in his cold hell.
"It looks like Grubworm is back. It only took him an hour to become un-dead" that was Tinker Jimbo speaking and spitting.
"Fucking pansy should have stayed dead. He wasted over an hour of First Sergent's time. We even had to get the jumper cables to kick start his heart after all of my careful ministrations. All of First Sergent's recruits are her children, Grubworm is not allowed to die unless he has already dug his own grave. Do you understand me recruit? Say yes First Sergeant."
"Yes First Sergeant. This recruit understands." Joe mustered the strength to speak barely.
"Good that means you can go again. The training continues." came First Sergeant's rejoinder.
Young Three repeated the process from before. The results were pretty much the same.
"First Segeant this recruit requests permission to die..."
"Grubworm are you capable of digging a grave in your condition. I think not. The training continues."
"Young Three this has been fun but im going to need my bike and jumper cables back soon." Jimbo was watching the process with amusement. "This brings back so many fond memories from my childhood. Dad tried to drown proof me when I was about 6. His method was a bit different than your's though. He left me in the blanket with my legs tied to my hands, He threw me out of a boat into the water and went to drink beer with his buddies on the riverbank. I have no idea how I would have gotten out of the blanket if I hadn't slept with a razor blade in my cheek."
Young Three was reminded of how traditional Junk Gypsie families still are. Tinker's father was such a softie. He must have cared alot about Jimbo. The proper way to drown proof a child is with logging chains and handcuffs. Also anybody with a brain always checks a prisoner for contraband before they transport them.