Pain sat in the large bath that his castle had, and wondered how he could go about telling Fira about his stitches. He looked down, and saw the stitches on his chest going down into the water. He sighed, and wished they could have healed a long time ago. Every time he looked down he remembered what happened to him, and visions of that man would flash in his mind, which gave him a rush of adrenaline each time as his fight or flight response kicked in. This time he had the smell of the lavender bath bomb he used and the relaxing warm water to keep himself from having too big of a reaction.
Only a single image flashed in his mind when he looked down, and it was gone in an instant. He shook his head, and felt some of the warm water come loose from his skin in drops.
He opened his eyes back up and looked at his hand, then lightly wiggled his clawed fingers. He, since he had sharp claws, did not like to touch Fira with the ends of his fingers, he always kept the ends of his digits up, so as not to scratch her. He then looked to his pale skin, and even though he knew that blood was running through his veins, he wished he had color to his skin again.
He took in a deep breath and let out another sigh. He was starting to get praise from other reapers because Fira had helped him overcome his emotions when reaping. He wished that he could tell the other reapers that it was a human girl that was responsible, and he did not improve by himself. With the help he received, he had even begun to let go of the emotions he still had for Elaine and Skyler.
He slid down deeper into the water. He tried to not think about Fira's mortality, but it came into his head every once and a while when he was about to go to sleep. It terrified him. He didn't want to lose her. Telling her that he was bisexual was one thing, but his Y incision had a complicated story he didn't think he could tell her.
He let the steam of the bath lick his face as he lowered his head and closed his eyes. He didn't feel like he wanted to be human again before he met Fira. He found himself wishing to be a regular human more and more often. He wanted to grow old together with her, but as an ageless deathless being, that was impossible, and even though he tried not to think about that either, there were soul crushing moments where that thought would invade his mind.
All his current problems seemed to stem from him being unable to grow old and die, which was something that he had tried to change before, but he never found a remedy to his condition. He got up and grabbed the towel that was behind him, and wrapped it around his waist, then he tucked the end of the towel in.
He heard the door slide open, and became confused, because he could have sworn he locked it before he came in.
"Pain? Oh my-" Fira had just walked in. She had a hand over her mouth and was visibly staring at his chest.
"Well, there's no use in hiding it now." Pain frowned, he was so deep in thought that he forgot to lock the door behind him.
"Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" She walked up to him, took her shoes and socks off and stepped into the bath with him.
"No, it's fine, I'm alright." He put his hands out in front of himself.
She sloshed her way up to him and put her hands on his bare chest, over the stitches.
"No you're not. If you were fine how come you have stitches?" She furrowed her brow.
He knew she was concerned for him, and if he lied to her now, she wouldn't forgive him for it later.
"No, this wound doesn't completely heal. The stitches are permanent." He shook his head again, but more softly.
"What do you mean?" Her face softened, and she kept looking at him with sparkling eyes.
"It's an extremely rare type of wound that doesn't completely heal.. I got this from... Being murdered, and when I was sucked back into my own dead body, the wound was there to stay. That's also why I need the prosthetic jaw, because that wound can't heal either." He put a hand to her shoulder.
"I knew you were a fallen angel, but I didn't know anything about this." Her eyes widened and tears started to form under her eyes.
"Well, how else do you think fallen angels are created these days? Other angels are too scared to speak up and get tossed out of heaven." He gave her a melancholy smile.
"Don't laugh at me because my dress is all wet though." Fira frowned and looked down at the bottom of her dress that was softly floating in the water.
"I won't, you came up to me because you were concerned. It's just like you to run headfirst into something you don't fully understand." His smile became a happy one.
"I'm used to getting laughed at or berated for just rushing in, but I can't help it." She cupped her hands together.
"I'd never do that, you know that." He hugged her.
"I know, it's just, it's just a force of habit." She chuffed.
"I hope you can unlearn to feel embarrassed for doing something selfless or heroic by being with me." He pulled away and looked at her warmly.
"I hope so too." She smiled back at him.
"If you'll allow me, I'll go get dressed now." He pointed to the folded pile of his clothes.
"O-Oh! I'm sorry! I'll go!" She turned around and sloshed back out of the tub.
"Yeah, I don't think we're at the point where you'd want to see me without the towel." He chuckled.
"I... I never said that." She looked back at him over her shoulder.
"Oh really now?" He grinned suggestively and started to reach down.
"Eep!" She turned back and smacked her hands onto her face.
He chuckled, she was still so innocent, it would be a while before she was comfortable with anything sexual at all.
"See what I mean?" He turned and got out of the large tub.
He heard the door slam behind him.
"You still there?" He looked back and, sure enough, there was a shadow in the glass of the sliding door.
"Y-yeah. What do you need?" Her shadow shuffled about.
"Wait for your legs to dry before you put your shoes and socks back on." He didn't think she would wait long enough for him to get her a towel.
"Oh! Okay... L-Let me know when I can come back in." Her outline lowered as she sat down.
"Alright, I will." He let out another chuckle, though it was smaller and more breathy.
He went over to his clothes, took another towel and started to dry himself off. The water on his skin was cold when in contact with the air, and goosebumps started to form all over his body. He frowned and patted his other towel at the goosebumps. His skin may have been pale but he wasn't cold, like a vampire would be. If he was always cold, his skin wouldn't get goosebumps, he wouldn't feel cold either. He sighed and thought about how grateful he was that he at least wasn't cold to the touch.
After he dried himself off, he got dressed. He slid his shirt on carefully and tried not to catch his shirt on the stitches. He smiled because he was thankful he had already done his hair in the bath before she got there, he would have been embarrassed if she caught him in the short amount of time that he had his hair down.
"Alright. You can come in now. "He turned around and reached down to pull the plug on the bath.
He heard the door slide open again. The water groaned into the opening as he pulled the drain plug.
"Where's your gloves?" She carefully walked over, her feet still slippery with water.
He stood up, a towel already in his hand. He held it out to her.
"Here, use this to wipe yourself off. Maybe pat it on your dress too, it'll dry faster that way." He smiled and extended the arm holding the towel a little further.
"Isn't... Isn't that the towel you used to dry yourself off with?" She put her hands together and her gaze darted from the towel to him.
"Yes, why?" He didn't see it as a big deal, the towel was still mostly dry.
"Are you... Are you sure you want me to use this?" She slowly reached for the towel.
"What, are you embarrassed because I used it?" He grinned at her. She was so adorable, even sharing towels got her all flustered.
"Ma-Maybe..." Her hand hesitated, and her face flushed red.
"You're so cute." He giggled, she was a little angel to him, she couldn't even share a towel without turning as red as a tomato.
"Don't say stuff like that." She quickly snatched the towel from his hand.
"But it's true." His face started to hurt he was smiling so hard.
"You're such a butt." She huffed and sat down, then started to pat her legs and feet dry.
"I'm not patronizing you, I really mean it." He leaned down and grabbed an end of the towel, and started to dry her other leg.
She stopped moving and looked up at him, her face still extremely red.
"What is it? I've touched you before, why is this any different?" He was purposefully trying to make her blush now.
"Don't say it like that." She quickly turned her head away,
"You don't have to be embarrassed anymore, we're dating, remember? It's romantic." He didn't mean to turn the tables on her, he was only embarrassed because he didn't want to mess up. Now that he was dating her, he was much more upfront and relaxed.
"Well, if you put it that way." She slowly turned her head back, her eyes were averted though.
"You were so upfront before, this is a new side of you." He shook his head, a smile still plastered on his face.
"Well, you were the one who was embarrassed at first, and I thought it was cute." She shrugged her shoulders.
"I can understand that one hundred percent." He lightly poked her flushed red cheek.
"Is the guy who did it dead?" Her blush slowly started to fade.
"Is the guy who did what what now?" He pretended to not know what she was talking about, and tilted his head.
"The guy who gave you those stitches." She looked up at him.
"Are you talking about the guy who fixed me up or the guy who caused me to have to see the guy who fixed me up?" His smile faded, even though his face muscles still ached.
"The second one." Her blush was gone now.
"Nope, he's very much alive. He only technically did it though, in this timeline he hasn't even laid a finger on me." He slowly shook his head.
"What? I don't understand." She started to get visibly angry, and balled her fists.
"You see, the man who I used to be is still alive in this timeline. I'm from a timeline where he died and came back. It's very complicated." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
"What?" Her face softened but her fists were still balled.
"There's a guy walking around that is a continuation of who I used to be, he and I used to be the same person. I don't know if you've heard of the band Angels of Acid, but he's the lead vocalist. His band name is Hex, technically he and I have the same name still. I can't go by Hex anymore though." He turned his head downwards, he didn't want to confuse her but it was a very convoluted situation.
"So you and Hex used to be the same person? How'd you get here?" Her hands relaxed, and she got up, already done with drying herself off.
"Me and Elaine traveled back in time by a day, to warn Hex that he was going to die. He hated her and wouldn't believe what she would say, so she had to show him. Coming face to face with his future resurrected self meant there was no room for doubt." He pointed to himself.
"Is Elaine that one short girl with the veil and the red eyes? I don't remember all that well." She took a step towards him.
"Yes, that's her. She's with Hex now, so you don't have to worry about that." He shook his hand.
"So you didn't kill the guy who murdered you? Why?" She took another step forward and grabbed his arm softly.
"Because he didn't do it in this timeline, he's a crazy bastard but holding grudges is bad for you. I let him go because I'm better than that, better than him." He put his other hand on hers.
"So you just let him go, to kill someone else?" She leaned in closer and tugged at his arm.
"No, he's in jail, Elaine made sure of that. It took a lot of convincing to keep her from killing him herself, it's in her nature to do that. There's vigilante in her blood, but I wanted justice, not revenge." He intertwined his fingers with hers.
"You're a lot stronger than me, I would have cut him into little pieces." Her face hardened again.
"I know, I know you well enough to know you'd do something like that." A smile returned to his face.
"They'd be finding pieces of him for weeks." She shook her fist.
"I don't doubt that." He let out a single chuckle.
"He's probably glad he's in jail, because if he wasn't he'd have two people out for his head." She huffed.
"Well, I'm not one to dwell, it does come up often but I just let it roll off my back now. I can't escape that part of me, so why be sad about it? Why worry? Why get worked up over something that's never going to change?" He sighed, a smile still on his face.
"I don't know how you do it, I'd be scarred forever." She let her free hand fall to her side and she looked back down.
"I'm not going to spend my life constantly ruminating about what happened. That's not a life I want to live. I want to be happy, I want to live, laugh and love like anybody else." He raised his free hand.
"You're way, way stronger than me then." She sighed back.
"I think you'd find it in you to do the same too if you were in my situation. I wouldn't sell yourself short." He reached out and patted her on the head.
"It's okay to live just for revenge." She peeked up at him past his hand.
"I could have done that, but would you have ever fell in love with me if I was living that way?" He stared back at her and took his hand off.
"Maybe." She messed with her hair.
"If you aren't completely certain, then how do you know?" He breathed air out through his nose and closed his eyes.
"I fell in love with you because you're you, but even if your demeanor changes, I won't leave." She frowned and eyed him from the side.
"I'm not so sure about that, if that was true for everyone, Elaine would never have broken up with me." He opened his eyes again and darted them away.
"It may not be true for everyone, but it's true for me, and that's all that really counts." She turned her head back.
"I believe you, I'm just having a hard time believing in myself." He was still a bit hung up over Elaine, and even though those feelings are almost completely gone, those same feelings were very strong before, and not easily defeat-able.
"If you can believe in me, you can believe in yourself, too." She gave him a reassuring smile.
"Believing in other people is easier if you trust other people more than you trust yourself." He shrugged with his arms.
"I know you can do it." She gave a single nod.
"I guess I may be selling myself short as well, though." He smiled back at her.
"Yeah, it's not like you. You're such an optimist, seeing you do that to yourself is surprising." Her smile disappeared
"I can't be an optimist in every aspect of my life." He tried to keep a can-do attitude for the most part, but some of his past self deprecating behaviors still hung around.
They talked for a while longer, and after Fira put her shoes and socks back on, they spent the day in Purgatory. His intrusive thoughts about Fira growing old and dying kept inserting themselves into his brain, and he would go quiet for a second. He needed to do something about it, anything, he couldn't stand that every second that passed could lead to her death, and it made him worried sick. He knew he was making her worry as well. Every time he paused, she looked at him with visible concern, and even though he didn't want her to worry, he couldn't help but feel anxious about her mortality.