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Chapter 5 - First Fail

PART 3

"Teka yung notes ko-- sandali lang hahaha magpatuloy ka muna sa pagbasa," damn di ko na kinaya this time dang it! Nasa left side sa kinauupuan ko ang bag niya which made his forearm touched my waist from behind. Ramdam ko ang pamumula sa buong mukha ko. I've never been touched before except sa family and friends ko but not even one guy around the circle of my friends have ever touched me not even a single hair of mine, because I don't want to. Look at me now umaasa nanaman ako kung sinadya niya ba iyon o wala urgh stop it Katie!

I continued reading all of it kahit hindi ako fully focused dahil sa isang maliit na bagay kanina. At the fourth paragraph of the body medyo nawala na sa point ng topic---

H-he just--

"This part talaga nawala na ako sa topic hahhahahah magkatext tayo that time at sa sayang yun nakalimutan ko tuloy HAHAHA mas nalibang pa ako sa topic natin hahhha," inakbayan niya ako suddenly-- this is too much I can't handle this na.

"Okay wait, stop it okay? Kanina ka pa nakahawak sakin- I mean that's too much for me, sorry," I sighed a little.

"Eh? That's what friends do Katie, just like a big bro to you so... what's the matter? I'm sorry if you're startled," muli niyang ikinamot ulo niya. Big bro? Really?

"Well, it's not and I don't feel that way," I raised my voice a little as I closed his laptop and handed it to him.

"What do you mean it's not? Anong ibig mong sabihin? Other than friends, then what else do you thought about it?" Pagtataka niya, bahagya akong lumingon sa kanya. I think it's best if he knows how I feel-- so that he is aware of it.

I looked away as I heaved a sigh habang pinapanood ang mga kotseng dumadaan. 'Di ko alam kung saan magsimula.

"I like you. Oo tawagin mo na akong easy o kung ano man pwedeng tawagin nito pero yun ang totoo eh. Habang hinawakan mo kamay ko I never felt everything as friends, I never felt any of that as friends kaya sorry ah, di ko ginusto lahat ng mga yun lahat ng sweet gestures mo, lahat lahat kaya 'wag mo ng gawin lahat ng mga 'yon dahil ayokong hahantong pa ito sa pagpapakatanga at pagpapakabobo and I don't want to feel any hopes of that stupid sweet gestures of yours nakakatanga na!," what did I just say? Jesus! Katie are you insane? Walang ibang ginawa ang lalaking 'to kundi ang pagiging isang matalik na kaibigan lamang. Nanatili siyang nakanganga halatang nagulat sa aking pinagsasabi. Damn.

"I-- I'm sorry, Yuan. I didn't mean any of it--"

"No, you're right hahhahahahha sorry about everything. And just so I thought," he smirked out of nowhere. Wait-- what?

"You knew?! and did nothing? Wait-- is it-... do you feel the... same?" I looked straight to him. He just smiled while nakayuko.

"What I was not expecting is yung confession mo hhahahahha but honestly, kinaibigan lang naman kita dahil alam kong makakatulong ka sa grades ko. I thought you knew about my intention but instead you were blinded by my sweet gestures. I'm sorry about that Katie," his tone didn't sound apologetic. Ang sakit! All along he used me for his grades. Urghhhh I felt my eyes getting watery sht pinigilan ko itong tumulo. I was left dumbfounded. 

He stood up and carried his bag with him at tuluyan ng lum-- he stopped...

"Oh, at isa pa, I never felt the same way as you do. Bye Katie."

I was left behind. Tears can't hold on any longer... They started rolling down my cheek. Wtf was I thinking... I immediately wiped my cheek and started walking on the pedestrian lane.. tumawid na ako sa kabilang da-- 

"AAAAHHH!" *BEEEEEPPP BEEEEPPP* I shrieked after I tripped in the middle of the road. 

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING MAN! THIS YOUNG LADY ALMOST GOT HIT!" Isang matandang lalaki na nakakita sa nangyari yelled at the owner of the car. I stood up as I felt my elbow had scratches-- ah! It stings! darn it!

THAT WAS CLOSE!! what the hell, Katie!? I almost got myself killed! I throw a glance at the owner of the car who almost killed me, he gave me a cold stare as he started the engine of his car and ran off. Wow! "Congratulations! Make sure you'll hit me next time!" note the sarcasm. Psh!  

Ahh! It stingsss! Ano na gawin kong excuse nito sa parents ko? I tripped because I didn't look where I was going in the middle of the street? Oh great idea! And I'll add up I almost got hit by a car and the owner didn't even apologize! what a concept! 

Padabog akong naglakad patungo sa parking area ng school namin at diretsong pumasok sa loob ng kotse, halatang nagulat si manong chauffeur dahil patalbog ko itong sinarado ang pintuan ng kotse. "Let's get going," I crossed my arms and heaved a sigh.

I covered my elbow with my handkerchief. It still stings pero hindi ko pinahalata kay manong na may sugat ako sa siko. 

My eyes are watery again... I faced outside the window para hindi makita ni manong incase na tumulo muli mga luha galing sa nangingiyak kong mga mata. Napahiya ako ngayong araw at muntikan rin akong binangga ng isang sasakyan. Napakamalas ko ngayong araw. Ayoko pang makausap si Yuan at ayoko munang mag access sa Facebook. Siguro itigil ko n'ang maattach sa kung sino sinong tao. Nakaka-walang gana, tsk.

I remembered everything na nangyari sakin three months ago, yung mga araw na iyon pinagmukha niya sakin na isa akong uto uto at ngayon? Tatawag siya na parang walang nangyari? Ako pa nagsorry wow lang Katie!

"Katie? Still there?" I felt it that he's smiling right now. What a jerk.

I hang up. It is never worth my time anyway. Bumalik na ako sa classroom at bahagyang umupo sa kinauupuan ko. I should have never accepted the phone call. Tsk.