Nolan was an experienced delivery man. He had been delivering parcels to various kinds of homes for many years, and he had come to believe that he was long past the point of anything being able to faze him.
Today, he had a little package to deliver to a Mrs Porter who lived a half hours drive from the city, on a small plot of land titled "The Wee Farm" according to the sign he had walked passed on the way in.
However, just as he had rounded the bend of some beautifully flowering Sunflowers and come into view of the door, he saw it.
The "it" was a great beast. Lying on the porch, thankfully with its back to Nolan, it was lazing in the sun. With its entire body spread out across the top of the stairs and it's tail dangling into one of the pot plants that were edging the steps, it was effectively blocking Nolan's rout to the front door.
The only way that Nolan could describe the great big beast to himself, was a Lion. It certainly had the mane to be a Lion.
Nolan felt his Addams Apple scrape its way down his throat.
What to do.
He was sorely tempted to go looking for a back door. However, he couldn't afford to be fired if the Porters took an objection to him snooping around their property.
Taking a few deep breaths and squaring his shoulders, Nolan thought to himself, all I need to do, is ring the doorbell.
Luckily for him, there were some gardening supplies lying beneath the Sunflowers.
Nolan picked up a long rake and slowly made his way to the foot of the stairs.
Telling himself firmly that he needed to be as close to the door as possible to reach the bell, and that there was no way someone would actually leave an untamed lion just randomly lying on their porch, he slowly, quietly, placed his foot onto the first stair.
Getting no response from the great beast, he sucked in some air and then advanced to the next step. He went up four stairs in total, until he was standing with his knees just 30 centimetres or so away from the beasts back. Not daring to even breathe, Nolan slowly raised the handle of the rake.
GrowlRowrowrrrr…
His heart actually stopped for a second. Then slammed against his ribs.
He did not even dare to look down.
Gulping, he forced himself to breathe.
Backupbackupbackup!! But slowly. Definitely no sudden moves.
After what seemed like several hours, Nolan felt his heels hit the stones edging the Sunflower bed. Hoping to appease the beast that was now watching him in an alert manner, and wishing the Sunflower bed was farther away from the porch, he slowly -very slowly- placed the rake down onto the ground.
Grabbing his last hope, a tennis ball that was lying near the gardening tools, Nolan aimed at the doorbell and threw.
We shall never know if his aim was true. For the next moment, the beast was up, the ball was in its mouth, and before Nolan could even take in the scene, the ball was lying at his feet, and the beast was looking at him in the eye from a foot away, where he stood. Its great big tail whipping the air behind it.
Was it … a Dog?
'Holy Macaroons.' Nolan couldn't help but exclaim at the great big tong lolling far too close to his own face for comfort.
Moving slowly again, he bent down to get the ball. Looking at the great big Beast Dog, he threw the ball as far as he could to the side of the house.
The Beast Dog thundered off like a living avalanche, and Nolan sprinted for the bell.
Ding Dong!
The Beast Dog was turning, the ball in its mouth.
A shrill whistle sounded, and the Beast Dog came to a sudden halt. From around the house came a spry old lady, 'Good boy, Leon. Give.'
Leon happily hopped over to her in a couple of bounds to drop the wet ball into her garden glove.
'G good morning Mrs Porter, I presume. I have a parcel for you. I hope you don't mind that I threw the ball for the um…'
She laughed 'Tibetan Mastiff, and yes, I am she.'