Chereads / Misadventures of Kristoff / Chapter 2 - Chapter Two

Chapter 2 - Chapter Two

I can't believe it! I died! I'm dead!

Okay. I know that you're wondering why. Seriously talking, I'm wondering also.

After shouting and panicking upon seeing the lady giant, I threw tantrums. Yeah, that's hella annoying and not so awesome. I almost end up spending my night at the police station but then... Yes!

There is a but!

Well, that only means one thing.

Someone came. He's so short and wears baggy clothes. He stands between me and the giant, which is absolutely ridiculous. The giant stands almost 10 feet tall, and he, well, to be considerate, let's just say that he's a not so tall and obviously so short. He looked at me. Oh, sorry.

I wonder if he reads and hear my thought?

A big blow made me stumble on the ground... almost 50 meters away from them. They started fighting and all I can do is to stare and be mesmerized by the lighting they're throwing and blocking.

" ANGELIC POWER!"

A sign which I saw on the City of bones movie appear right infront of the face of the the-size-of-an-elf-man. The giant roared angrily. To stare on the mist, it seems like a tornado suddenly appeared and destructed everything stands on its way.

Many people scream and run and run and run. Oh crotch, constant running is  such an eyesore. But hey! This is a great opportunity! Free movie. Live.

Where's my popcorn?

Anyway, when you start to look beyond the mist, you'll see what's really happening.

It is a fight between giant and my savior. They both have powers. They both have armoured suits. They both are...uh, pathetic?

"What the hell are you both doing?"

They are staring at each other. Oh my, don't tell me...don't tell me...

There is a very big explosion. Both of them stumbled and I have a wild guess that that may be their final blow.

I looked around me and shocks, too many wretched souls.

What is the meaning of this?

Wretched souls and their cries out of anguish.

"Am I dead?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

A hoarse voice said. I looked around to see where it came from and... I gulped.

It is very small. Have big round eyes. Too large pointed nose and a very grumpy face. Seems like that kind of expression is natural. In born, i mean.

"You're a-"

"An elf."

"I-I'm dead?"

"You're not just stupid, I see."

"What?"

"You're deaf- I mean dead. And to make the whole story short. You died because you're stupid, dumb and too slow. Seriously man, where did you're common sense go?"

"Hey that's below the belt and your not suppose to say rude and mean words!"

"And why?"

"It might not only cause emotional wounds, it'll also shortens the life of a person."

"So what? You're dead anyway."

Ouch.

We've been walking for almost an hour. And it's amazing to know that I can't feel anything. Is it a good thing?

"Hey ugly..." I whispered and I received a big blow on my head before I heard him grunt. Such a bully and short tempered man. Well, he's short. Literally and figuratively speaking.

"Where are we going?"

I asked him. I can only see few houses. Not much people and the atmosphere seems to drop to negative zero. It's cold. I hate cold places.

"Somewhere..."

Great. Where is that freaking somewhere? Is that even included in the abandoned maps?

"Where exactly that somewhere you're talking about?"

Suddenly, the wind blows and I almost stumbled my ass on the icy ground. W-what! Icy ground?

"Hey you elf, are we in Antarctic? This is awesome! Just an hour walking and we got here?"

I laid back and enjoyed the feeling. This is a dream come true!

"Get up! We need to hurry! Someone's coming and he happened to be so territorial!"

I stared at his face for a second but looked away in an instance. He's so freaking ugly that I can't take it to just get a glance on him. Damn.

"No way! No one owns this place! I can't see any house and hey, let's relax for a while..."

I did relax.  But even before I can lie down again, I heard a very loud terrible noise. Where in the freaking underworld did that noise come from?

A few seconds later, me and the ugly elf screamed our lungs out and ran for the sake of our second of our second life. Damn. If I had listen to whatever the elf was saying a while ago, we shouldn't be dealing with this shit.

"Run faster! He's coming after us! Once he get hold of us we can't escape anymore! He'll burn us alive and eat us afterwards!"

"What? O my crotch, I don't wanna die again! I need to live! This is my second chance! Ruuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn!"

A little help here, please?

"Run faster!"

The brainless elf screamed and I want to knock him down.

"Shut up you brainless little shit! I may be dead but damn! Put it in your mind that I still have my emotions! I'm tired! I'm exhausted!"

"Roaaaaaaarrr"

The giant yelped and I looked back to see what made the ugly monster scream.

"Stupid also brainless monster! Look at your steps! Look what you get yourself into! You got yourself hurt!"

I stopped running. I'm dead on my track and all I do is stare at the gigantic monster.

"What are you doing, you punk? Run! Run not only for your life but also for the sake of me! Holy mother of firecrackers! You're making me lose my sanity! Run!"

Are all elves coward? I didn't obey the brainless ugly kiddo. I stared at him mockingly before proceeding on staring at the giant who's now crying out of pain.

His feet are now bleeding. Or is it even blood? Slimy green color. Gross.

"Are you hurt?"

He didn't answer. Instead he just looked at me as if I am the heartless jerk he ever met.

"Why did I ask anyway? You have wounds so I assume that it really hurts."

Meters away from me, I can perfectly hear the groans and grunts of the elf out of his frustration over me.

"Okey I'll help you..."

I said before I approach the crying monster.

Note: I'm not a freaking babysitter.

Hope this'll turn out well... or worse.